Thursday, March 30, 2006

Grrr….

One of the things I truly hate is when someone says, “Welcome to the real world” or some variation of that. It REALLY gets under my skin. Today I was treated to one of those little variations. I was red hot. I kept my composure until I left work, but I was really mad. Have I not been in the “real world?” By the way, everyone is in the real world. People have different circumstances and positions in life, but difficulty doesn’t fit only certain groups: social, age, race, gender, etc. I hate it when adults say to younger people, “Just wait until you get into the real world.” That’s just stupid. Of course kids can’t handle whatever the adult is going through; they’re not supposed to. They’re handling what they can at their age. And, by the way, I am not a child and don’t need anyone to tell me what it’s like in the “real world.” (taking a deep breath) I’m done fuming now.

Speaking of kids, my nephew Brent was at my apartment when I got home. Chris had to go off for a call as soon as I arrived home, so it was just me and Brent. Not long after Chris left, he called and said that he’d left an important notebook at home, so Brent and I hoped in the truck to take it to him. Afterwards, we dropped by the mall, browsed around, and left to go get Icees at the gas station. It was totally simple afternoon, and it made me feel so much better, just hanging out with Brent. Tomorrow he’s going to spend the day with me at work. I’m baffled by the fact that he wants to hang with me at school on his Spring Break. But I’ll be glad to have him there, and my students are really excited that he’s coming too.

Have a mentioned my great love for Extreme Makeover: Home Edition? That show is phenomenal! I absolutely love watching it on Sunday, but now they have this four week special with them helping victims of the hurricanes. The magnitude of their generosity astounds me and causes me to wish that I had the means to help people in the same way. And it reminds me that while I genuinely long for another place to live, I am much better off than so many others and should be thankful for what I have.

Monday, March 27, 2006

Singing in the Rain

Tonight Chris and I went for a walk around the neighborhood and got caught in a little rain. It was really not enough to get us wet, but I still wondered if we were crazy to go walking on such a night. Neither one of us really expected it to start raining, so I guess we’re not really that crazy. The thing is that contrary to my title we didn’t sing in the rain. I thought about it and almost asked him if he would like to sing. So, even though I didn’t do it; it’s the thought that matters, right?

Lately it seems that there are so many issues that seek to congest the highways of my mind. I keep looking for a way out of the madness, but things just get more and more backed up. Walking and talking with Chris did me a world of good. I need to be reminded that things are going to work out and that I am loved. Don’t we all need that?

I went back to work today after my blessedly uneventful spring break. It was quite strange to be there, but of course I feel easily back into my routine. I enjoy being around the students and the people I work with. Everyone was animatedly telling their vacation stories; the children kept trying to one up one another with crazy and interesting things that happened on their trips; they went on cruises, skiing, to the beach, and to Italy. I was quite entertained with their delightfully retelling of trying out the black diamond slopes, visiting the Vatican and the Sistine Chapel, and enjoying time with their families in Florida. While I laughed at their stories and lamented the fact that I have gone so long without feeling the sand between my toes, I still loved the fact that this year I didn’t need a vacation to recover from my vacation.

It’s going to be an early night for me. I only had about three hours of sleep last night, so I plan to go to bed early tonight to catch up a bit.

Saturday, March 25, 2006

Growing pains

While trying to edit my last post I had some problems with the pictures. So, I'm going to try again to post a couple pictures.

This is Chris and me with Bella a few months ago.



This is us shortly after we got her.



My hasn't she grown! And yet her living space has not. It's a good thing she's pretty and sweet.

Moving

I’m not moving though I seriously wish that I were. My sister and her husband are moving this weekend, and so are my friend and her husband who live across the hall. While I am thrilled for both of those couples, I still cannot help but wish that I had a new house to go to. I am grateful for our little apartment, and I suppose that one day I will look back on my first days with Chris here with nostalgia. However, there are so many things about this apartment that just don’t work for us. Instead of lamenting (too much) over what I don’t have, Chris and I are praying for a new place to call home soon.

Seriously, I think that if we didn’t have Bella we’d be somewhat happier in this apartment, but we do have her.

Though others have suggested that we get rid of her, she’s here to stay. We just love her too much. We actually got her while we were still just dating and have now had her for almost two years. Chris lived in an apartment downstairs from me at that time, and it was easy to share co-ownership of her. There were times while we were dating that I wondered who would end up with her should we break up, but we stayed together and never had to face that awful decision. Bella needs a yard and just more space in general.

Chris and I need more space. Half of our kitchen supplies and basic d├ęcor is in storage at his parents’ house. I’d love at least to have the crock pot here, but I don’t have a place for it. When I finally have a house and get to retrieve all of my stuff, it’ll be like Christmas morning or like going through one of those amazing bridal showers all over again. At least this time I won’t be worried about thank you notes; thankfully, those are behind me. I told Chris that I didn’t want to have a baby too soon because I know that I will have to go through writing a bunch of thank you notes again. I don’t want to sound ungrateful, but it is quite a chore. I always feel like I need to make each note as special as possible. I don’t want them to sound too formulated, so it takes me quite a while to get them done.

I’m going to go and get Chris and the boys off of the couch, away from the video games, and out of the house!

Friday, March 24, 2006

Slacker!

Yeah, so I know that I haven’t written all week. But I’ve been on Spring Break. It doesn’t matter that I didn’t really go anywhere; I’ve just been taking a break from the norm. This week I haven’t gotten up early, exercised, or worried about work. I did thoroughly clean my humble apartment and spend time with Chris, and that had made for a lovely break.

I can’t believe that my break is almost over. I remember thinking at the beginning of the week that I was planning on taking everything slowly so that I could truly enjoy my vacation time. I feel like I was really living in the moment, and yet here I am near the end wondering how if flew by so fast. Why is it that the older one gets the faster everything seems to go?

By the way, in case you’re wondering about how all the doctors’ appointments have turned out, all of the tests have come back normal. There doesn’t seem to be any conclusive evidence for why I’ve been feeling the way that I have. So, I’m loading up on the vitamins, and I’m attacking all of my symptoms as naturally as I can. We’ll see how that works. It is interesting to me that I’ve felt better this week than I have in a long time. Maybe it has something to do with my stress level, or it could be that I’m allergic to something at work. Maybe I’m allergic to work in general! Nah, I enjoy my work; that couldn’t be it.

Today Mom and I journeyed to Fort Knox to pick up two little vagabonds, my nephews, Brent and Seth. Chris and I are keeping them for the weekend, and we couldn’t be more thrilled. Almost every weekend we comment to each other that we wish that we could have “the boys” here. The cool thing is that they will be staying with my parents during the week for their Spring Break, so we’ll get to see them all week. Having them here is really fun for Chris because he has video game companions. I’m terrible at video games and lose interest pretty quickly. The three of them can play all day long, and all I have to do is make sure that they stop every once in a while to scarf down some food before returning to their play. Of course I am hoping to get us all out of the house a bit this weekend. It’s too bad that our nephews don’t live closer to us; we’d have them over so much more often. I guess we’re going to have to have some kids of our own sometime soon!

Chris is in the kitchen fixing filet mignon and corn on the cob on the grill. He’s a great man at the grill. Speaking of what a wonderful cook I have… yesterday I was supposed to bake a birthday cake for one of our friends, but I ran out of time. So, Chris volunteered to do it for me today while I went to get the boys. All I had to do when I got home was decorate it. Can you believe that he did that for me? Color me grateful.

Sunday, March 19, 2006

Beautiful Day

Though it started out a bit chilly this morning and despite the threat of rain that simply never came, today turned out to be beautiful. Chris and I were able to spend the entire day together, and I actually felt well all day! No pain!

We drove to Crossville, which is about two hours away, to see his granny who is in the hospital on the mend from surgery. She is doing much better than earlier in the week, and we enjoyed chatting with her for about an hour. After we left, we really had nowhere definite to be, so I somewhat jokingly suggested that we go to Chattanooga. His eyebrows shot up, and he said, ‘Why not?” So, we took the old route on Highway 127 to Chattanooga.

On the way there we talked about all sorts of things: house hunting, children, music, traveling, and so much more. And we enjoyed the scenery, which included a very majestic looking white tailed hawk that nearly landed on our car and a house shaped like a spaceship. The route took us over Signal Mountain, and we stopped at an overlook for a breathtaking view. The strange thing is that the only other people who stopped was a couple from Nashville. And even stranger, the guy works with one of our friends!

Once we arrived in Chattanooga I called up some old college friends to see if we could drop by since we were in town, and they told us to come on over. It was so nice to see their new house and new baby. They actually have three daughters; the oldest one is named after me. It was a short but pleasant visit, and it’s all that we did in Chattanooga.

Today felt spontaneous and adventurous. We didn’t really do anything outlandish, but it was out of the ordinary for us. And it was refreshing, just what we needed.

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Sleepy Kay

I didn't sleep at all last night. And I do mean not at all. The doctor prescribed me a new medicine for the migraines yesterday, and it kept me up all night. My heart was racing! I don't think I'll be taking that anymore, which could also be good financially being that it was terribly expensive. Can you get refunds on prescriptions? I wouldn't think that you could, but it certainly would be helpful. Anyway, I was tossing and turning so much that I had to go to the couch so that I could keep from waking Chris up. I thought about reading or watching TV, but I didn't want to get interested in anything and cause my brain to be more engaged and keep me awake. So I just lay on the couch praying that I would go to sleep. Still, sleep completely escaped me.

I'm actually at work right now, but I'm all caught up. Everything is graded and recorded; lesson plans have been made; documents have been typed. In short, it's done. They're actually letting me leave here early today to go home to see if I can get a little sleep. I'll teach my last class and leave here around 12:45. I can't wait to go home. I keep daydreaming about crawling into bed, slipping a sleep mask over my eyes, and drifting off.

Tonight Chris and I are supposed to go over to his parents' house for dinner. I'm really looking forward to it; I don't think we've seen them in a few weeks. Life has just been crazy busy. I haven't seen my mom in a while either; Dad stops by the school every Tuesday, so I get to visit with him at least once a week. But I have Spring Break starting tomorrow (Woo-hoo!), so I should have a little time to spend with my loved ones. I'm staying home for break and plan to do some spring cleaning. It will be so nice to get my apartment in order. Chris actually told me not to clean this week since I am planning a major overhaul next week. I guess I don't have to tell you that I quickly agreed to that. Other than the basic of laundry and dishes, I've done very little in the cleaning department this week.

Other than cleaning I'm bringing home about six Civil War documentaries from the library to watch in order to see if any of them will work for class. As excited as I am to have a clean house and as much as love studying about the Civill War, those things hardly count as real spring break fun. However, we're low on the funds, so we can't really afford to do much. I do hope that we can manage to go out once, even if it's just for bowling or something like that.

Monday, March 13, 2006

What’s the deal?

I go to the same Starbucks about once a week. I’m not a big coffee drinker unless I make it myself, but I do like specialty drinks. I order the same thing every week: a tall tea cider with Calm tea. Strangely enough, every week they seem totally confused by this order. Eyebrows crease and those same questions come tumbling out. I just smile and say, “I don’t want caramel or cinnamon, just the hot cider and with a bag of Calm tea, thank you.” Yet, still, I feel as if I’m being viewed as some strange being from another world who might as well be ordering meteorite juice. Finally, light begins to dawn in the barista’s eyes. “Oh, I see what you’re asking for; sure, we can do that!” Hmmm, you think? I’ve only ordered this particular drink at this very Starbucks a hundred times.

Anyway, despite the difficulties of ordering this drink; you really should try it. It’s a soothing type of beverage, just the right thing to partake of before attempting to go to sleep. I often have different sleep problems, so anything that can calm me down and slow my thinking process is good for me. Last night Chris said that I was extremely restless and actually smacked him a few times. I was having the most bizarre dreams, and between the migraine and the medicine I took, I’m not really surprised that I was flailing my arms a bit. I was somewhat aware of the fact that I was in pain even though I was asleep, so I really couldn’t have been sleeping that deeply, not deep enough to be truly rested this morning but apparently deep enough to hit my husband. How strange.

Do you ever wake up from a dream and want to go back to sleep immediately and finish the dream? I’ve tried it, but even if I somehow end up in the same place, the dream doesn’t end the way I would have wanted it to. Most of my dreams are so strange that I just lie there trying to figure it all out. There are times that I will have dreams which incorporate people from high school, college, and the school I teach at now. I’ve spent my entire life around schools, so it makes sense that my dreams would often be there too. However, it’s very strange when several different time periods of my life collide, and it’s almost never pleasant.

I’m happier at this stage in my life than I ever was before. I think it has a lot to do with confidence and truly knowing who I am and not being afraid for others to see that. I wish that I had that when I was younger. I wish that I could go back and talk to the younger me and tell me to embrace who I was. Even then I think I had all the elements I needed to be all that I wanted to be; I just couldn’t see it. I guess a lot of us end up saying, “If only I knew then what I know now, I would have....” What would I have done? It’s hard to say, and there’s really no way to truly know.


Along that same thought, we just finished watching Walk the Line. Brilliant. I loved it. I felt that Reese’s Oscar was well deserved, and I wish that Joaquin could have walked away with one as well. Anyway, the point is, I’m sure that there were points in Johnny Cash’s life when he would have felt the same as I do. He could have been spared so much pain and could have spared others if only he had seen things clearer earlier. Of course we all know the real point to all of this is that we learn something along the way and find a way to make the world better. I’d like to think I’m doing that… learning and making things better.

Sunday, March 12, 2006

But I'm not sleepy....

OK, so I really am sleepy. I’m exhausted from fighting with the pain of the migraine. However, I’m being forced to rest. Yes, of course, I need it. After I posted yesterday the migraine became increasingly worse. I just lay on the couch whimpering with my sleep mask over my eyes to keep out the light. You may wonder why I wasn’t in bed. Well, I got up yesterday morning intending to accomplish all types of tasks, mostly in the cleaning arena. The first thing I did was strip the bed to wash the sheets. However, before I could put fresh sheets back on the bed, the pain hit full force. Finally, when Chris arrived home about 4:30, he put clean sheets on the bed, and I was able to have a more comfortable place to ride out the storm. The pain continues today, just not as bad.

I’m not really supposed to be sitting up at the computer right now. Chris went out to work on the Rover and made me promise to rest before he left. But I thought that I’d just write a little first. I hardly wrote at all last week, and I really want to make up for it.

We did get to church this morning. After church, we went to lunch with Matt and Eva at Jason’s Deli. It’s one of Chris’s favorite places to eat, and I really like the potatoes there. Have you ever had them? They’re huge! I get the Spud Lite, but it’s still massive with tons of toppings. I can only eat about half of it. Another great thing about Jason’s Deli is the free ice cream. They have soft serve in chocolate, vanilla, and swirl. It’s delicious, but I think it tastes even better because it’s free!

I guess I better wrap this up and go rest. I’m taking Beauty and the Beast with me to play just in case I don’t fall asleep right away or at all. I need something sweet and fun to watch, and the songs from that movie have been going through my head today for some reason.

Saturday, March 11, 2006

Saturday’s alright for fighting.

I’m not really fighting anyone, unless this migraine counts. It’s been a busy and tiring week. I had three doctor appointments, and we still don’t quite know what’s going on with me. I have one at the Headache Clinic next week, and then the week after I go in for a full physical. I’ve been to see some type of doctor every week for the past month, and I’m so tired of going. This is the second or third migraine I’ve had this week. Right now it’s a dull roar, so I can manage to write this blog, check other blogs, and read my e-mail. Then I’m headed back to the couch to rest for a bit.

One of my appointments was at the eye doctor. We had to rule out my eyes as being a cause for the migraines. It turns out that while they don’t seem to the culprit, I did have to get glasses. I will mostly have to wear them for night driving, though it wouldn’t hurt to wear them other times. I’ve never worn glasses before, other than a wide array of sunglasses. I can barely handle being outside during the day without sunglasses, even when it’s overcast. It’s just so bright to me; I’m definitely light sensitive. I love low lighting and would get rid of those atrocious florescent lights in my classroom if I could. Anyway, at least my frames are cute and make me look smart.

It’s Saturday and like most Saturdays I am alone at home. Well, Bella is here, and I am quite thankful for her company. However, Chris is gone. He had an appointment for work, and then he had to go work on our white Rover. A few weeks ago, we were a two Rover family, but then both of them went down. In all likelihood, we will never get our black one back. Hopefully we’ll get the white Rover back today. In the mean time, we’ve been driving borrowed cars. I’ve been driving a little Chevy pickup, and Chris has been in this tiny convertible. I know he’s anxious to be higher up from the ground. While this is really not what we would have chosen, we are grateful to be able to get around, thanks to both of our dads.

OK, nap time. Perhaps next time I write it will be with less pain.

Monday, March 06, 2006

Time for Leisure

It’s strange that I would be in such a good mood on a Monday, but I just had the best afternoon and evening with Chris. We didn’t win the lottery or a trip around the world. No one from Publisher’s Clearing House showed up with a hundred balloons and enormous check with our name neatly written on it. And no, we are not pregnant. We merely spent time just hanging out.

He actually was home when I arrived today; that was a joy in itself. Then he agreed to go walking with me, so we suited up Bella in her harness and took off for the park across the road from our complex. What a gorgeous day! Sure, the breeze was a little chilly but on the whole very enjoyable. In all we traveled roughly two and a half miles around the park enjoying our brief escape into nature. And we simply talked.

He asked me about my day and truly wanted to hear the details. I rambled on about the day’s events and then vented my frustrations over a couple issues. Chris is so good at listening; he actually even waits for me to ask what he thinks before he just rushes in to give his opinion. (I really need to work on that; I’m very opinionated!)

After we finished our walk, we decided to go pick up a few groceries for the rest of the week and some take-out Chinese for tonight. While we ate, we watched Cliffhanger, an early ‘90’s action flick with Sylvester Stalone. Interestingly enough, I saw it when it first came out and really liked it, but as I sat there watching it tonight I was amazed at how bad the acting was. Sometimes, however, that’s part of the fun – giggling at the ridiculous dialogue and even worse delivery of those lines. Still, I was clinging to Chris as one character after another lost the fight on those snowy Colorado slopes, and he warned me to cover my eyes each time something gory was about to occur.

As for the rest of the night, I plan to get into my pj’s and read for a while until I drift off to dreamland. Nights like this are rare, and I plan to take full advantage of it. Some day we will have kids, and there will be no more nights like these. Hmmm, that thought just makes me more tired. Good night.

Sunday, March 05, 2006

Today is a historical day.

It is for me anyway. Today marks seven months of marriage for Chris and me; and it is my grandfather’s 81st birthday. I am thrilled that Chris and I are a little over half way into that ominous first year, and I truly enjoyed spending the afternoon enjoying lunch with twenty people, family and friends, at Cock of the Walk and watching Paw Paw open presents and get a little choked up over how much we all love him. Most importantly, however, it’s Oscar Night! (Does sarcasm come through in print?) Really, how can you top extremely rich people dressed in ridiculously expensive clothes and giving each other awards for doing their job well? Yeah, so I’m wrestling with the jealousy.

In truth I’m sitting here glued to the TV trying to catch every glimpse of the stars that I can. I’m dreaming of being there sitting behind Nicole Kidman, just the right of Stephen Spielberg, and somewhere in the general vicinity of Will Smith. I’m wearing the most beautiful gown, probably a deep emerald green, with my hair delicately swept up into a lovely French twist with light tendrils drifting romantically around my cheeks. Lovely, delicate, diamond drop earrings dangle from my ears, my skin glows with a dewy, youthful glow; and on my arm is my sweet husband decked out in the finest Armani can offer. I don’t have to win; it’s an honor just to be nominated or to present or just to sit near Reese Witherspoon or to accidentally bump into Morgan Freeman at the Governor’s Ball. And the dream goes on….

In reality, I’ve spent the evening on the couch in the living room while Chris retreated to the office to play computer games and then to our bedroom to chat on the phone and channel surf. I’m wearing jeans, and although it is a good hair day, it’s not glamorous, and I certainly don’t have any diamonds other than in my lovely engagement ring.

I’ve been typing during the commercials so that I don’t miss anything. And now, I really must get back to the program and my dream.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Oops!

I cannot believe that I made such a bad typo in my last post. I usually end up typing “Christ” when I am trying to type “Chris.” This time, however, it was the other way around. Apologies to all…. At least we got a good laugh out of it, as I hope did God.

Today we had gorgeous weather, and I wish that I had been able to take advantage of it in the daylight hours. However, Chris and I did manage to go for a walk together tonight which is one of my favorite things to do with him. After dinner, we harnessed Bella and set out for a trip around the neighborhood.

On the way out of the complex, I heard someone behind me say, “Is that yours, Kay?” The person was bathed in the bright light from the streetlight in the parking lot, so I couldn’t see them right away. However, after a moment, I realized that it was Eddie, a guy I knew from high school. And this isn’t just any guy. He’s the one I had a secret crush on for all four years of high school! Crazy, huh? Anyway, I introduced him to Chris and Bella, and the three of us talked for a few minutes. It turns out that he’s been living here in one of the one bedroom units by himself for two years now, and we just hadn’t run into each other!

As far as my crush in high school, I don’t even remember now what it was that I was so attracted to. He was funny and nice, but I can’t remember much beyond that. It’s funny how things can seem overwhelmingly important to you in the moment, but as time passes, those very same things become no more than a faded memory. He looked good, just like he did in high school, but as I went on my way with Chris, I felt extremely blessed that my life has turned the way it has. Chris is amazingly kind and caring and loves me like I believe no one else could. It kind of reminds me of that Garth Brooks song, “Unanswered Prayers.” I’ve prayed for so many things in my life that I thought would make me happy, but God knew what would truly make me happy. I could not have imagined happiness like I now have.

Of course, I am a newlywed, so I guess my sappy comments go with the territory. I could keep going, but I’ll spare you from any more. Instead, I will quite writing and go sit with my husband who is patiently waiting for me to go watch TV with him.