The Questions That Remain

In the days and weeks to come, I know that I'll continue to process and reprocess all that has happened in our lives in the last month. And I'm sure that I'll work quite a bit of that out writing on my blog. There will be questions that simply will not be able to be answered such as: Where did Willow Grace come into contact with the e. coli? We have answered what seems like thousands of questions from doctors, nurses, and specialists; and Chris and I have even talked to the state department several times in order to solve this mystery, and yet we have still not come up with a viable source. And so, eventually, we'll choose to put those wonderings to rest and just choose to be thankful for our healthy, happy little girl.

(We took a little outing yesterday down to the 2nd floor. Willow Grace was so excited about her ride in the red wagon!)

For the moment, however, we are in a state of waiting. A little less than an hour ago, the nurse came to draw blood, and we are waiting to hear back from the lab. We need to see if, after yesterday's surgery, Willow Grace will need another transfusion. If she does, we stay until Monday when she will be reassessed. But, if she doesn't, then our sojourn here is complete, and we will finally return to our home. Scriptures and cards and Christmas decorations will have to be removed from the doors and walls. I'll busy myself with gathering clothes, toys, stuffed animals, and care packages and packing them into the big duffel bag and extra large suitcase I asked Chris to bring from home last night. This really has been our "home away from home" for the last few weeks, and it'll require a good deal of effort to get us on our way.

Strangely enough, I am a bit nervous about going home. Since I haven't been there in so long, I wonder what it'll be like readjusting to normal life, and I don't know what the rest of Willow Grace's recovery will look like there. What will that require of us? How long will it be before she's regained her strength and can do everything she did before? When will I feel safe taking her back out into public? Will she find it strange to be home? We've been sleeping in the same room, and I wonder if it will take a few nights before we can stay in our own beds. So many questions and no answers until we live it. So much of life is like that.

What happens next? Only God knows, but I'll keep you posted!