Sing It and Mean It - Part 2

Just a few extra thoughts since my last post....

Since the movie Frozen was released, it has been such big influence on my little girl's activities and, thus, been on my mind quite a bit. There's no doubt that the movie is a grand hit. People are talking about it, discussing it's meaning in depth and coming up with quite a few ideas for what agenda it may or may not be pushing. While I, as a Christian, find traces of my own beliefs displayed through the sacrificial love shown by Anna, I in no way believe there to be a Christian agenda secretly woven into the film. I also don't believe that Frozen is trying to influence our children to find hidden powers they might possess, to embrace finding oneself and embracing independence at all costs, or to pursue a homosexual lifestyle -- all things I've heard/read others argue. What I do think it promotes is waiting for true love, consequences for one's actions, and the importance and power of love.

While I thoroughly enjoyed watching the movie all three times I saw it, there are certainly behaviors I don't want my daughter to emulate. However, that's where I, as the parent and guide, come in.

In the song I touched on in my last post, "Let It Go," I dealt only with the idea of letting go of things that are harming us. Does that mean that we should let everything go? No. Certainly there are things to which we should hold - our family, our faith, our convictions. Elsa started letting go of fear (a good thing to do) but went too far when she abandoned her sister and others. When Elsa sings, "No right, no wrong, no rules for me," we're not meant to blindly accept that. As we find later, she cannot live by that stance without seriously harming herself and others. These are the things I discuss with my own daughter when we talk about the movie or she sings the song.

We have the soundtrack in our car, and I often giggle when I catch a glimpse of my sweet girl in the rear view mirror clutching her fists, chin upraised, and singing with such emotion in her face. After she belts out a tune like "Love is an Open Door," I sometimes pause the CD and talk with her. The characters in the movie go from meeting to getting engaged in one evening, obviously not a wise choice. We talk about that and about what good choices they could have made.

Children's entertainment is not going to fit inside my own brand of perfect. Sometimes I roll my eyes when I see the way a parent handles a situation on on one of the programs Willow Grace watches. That's another opportunity for my girl and me to talk. While I do put boundaries on the types of things she does watch and read and listen to and try to keep them age (and morally) appropriate, I'm not going to keep her in the preschool world of entertainment with nothing but easy solutions and blissfully happy people.

Happiness!!!

No long post just...

GREAT NEWS!!

- Off dialysis today
- Off the TPN/IV tonight
- Waiting for one more negative culture on the e. coli so we can leave the room and go to the hospital playroom
- Having the catheter in her tummy removed Thurs or Fri
- Should be home first of next week - a month ahead of time! Woo-hoo!

Here's a little Christmas greeting from Willow Grace (and me) to you!



Thank you for your prayers! Thank you for all the ways you've taken care of us! We're almost there! Please continue to pray us all the way home!

Challenges and Triumphs

Psalm 106:1
Praise the LORD. Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever.

Though we still had our share of challenging moments today, our day was also full of positives and little steps ahead. As for the challenges, she's still throwing up about twice a day and is also having some really painful abdominal pain. Of course, it's hard to watch her go through this. All I can do is hold her little hand and speak soothing words and pray her through it. Also, she had to have the dressing on her picc line changed today which is quite painful and scary for her.

And then, just so we could fill our drama quota for today, a man showed up at our door telling us that he needed to take Willow Grace downstairs for an x-ray because the perennial catheter in her stomach was leaking. Well, that was news to me! After what happened a few days ago, we've decided to question just about everything. The man wanted us to help him wheel her down to x-ray with everything, all her little machines, in tow. I protested and explained that she is hooked up to the dialysis machine 24 hours a day, and that machine cannot be moved. He was insistent, and Chris told him to go check again. We called the nurse and asked her to double check as well. It turns out that he had received the wrong orders. The doctor had mistakenly written down Willow Grace's name for the x-ray when it was another little girl who had the leaking catheter! I'm so glad we aren't accepting the word of every person who shows up at our door in a set of scrubs.

And now on to the positives!

First, I finally heard her laugh after not hearing it for two weeks! At 2:30 AM, she was awake and playing with her Nana (my mom) She was blowing through a Santa Claus straw which was making little whistling noises. It was cracking her up! I actually fell back to sleep listening to that sweet little tinkling noise! Also, Willow Grace was hungry today. She woke up asking for Fritos! I'm not even sure why she asked for those as she's only had them a couple times before in her life. It's not really the kind of thing she's allowed to eat just yet in the hospital, so I convinced her instead to try a roll, of which she ate half! Great progress after not eating for two weeks! Another highlight was the two hours she was allowed to be off of the dialysis today. While she still wasn't cleared to leave the room, not having tested negative for the e. coli as of yet, we were still able to get her out of bed and move around with her. And my little princess felt like singing today! Normally, she's so vibrant and loves to sing and dance. We caught a little glimpse of that little drama queen today. Check out the video below of her singing with me while her Gran-Gran (Chris's mom) holds her. (Sorry that my voice is so loud)

I Should Be Asleep But....

I just had to record my thoughts first.

Early this morning I slipped out of our little hospital room, leaving my sweet friend, Leslie, who had stayed the night with us, and Willow Grace asleep; and I wandered downstairs to grab a bit of breakfast. As soon as I stepped out of the elevator, my ears were met by the swell of a piano and the most soulful voice. At first, being so early I felt that it must be a recording, and yet I could not help but go in search of the source which I soon discovered to be in the little hospital chapel. A young black man sat alone in the chapel playing the baby grand and singing out in earnest praises to the Lord. I slid into a rocking chair in the back of the room and closed my eyes letting the words swirl around in my head and calm my heart. It was just a few moments of listening to someone else singing worship songs, and yet it was as good as any church service I could have attended.

After a few songs, he stopped, and I inquired, "So, is this something you do every Sunday, or are you a patient's dad?" To which he replied, "No, actually, I work here. I try to come before my shift so I can worship the Lord and spend a little time in His presence." He went on to tell me that he works in critical care. He describe how everyone becomes really attached the children in the hospital under their care and how hard that is, especially in critical care. Sometimes those children are here for months, and sometimes after all that time they lose them. "It's really hard when a child passes," he told me. "Sometimes the only thing that gets me through is coming down here and worshipping the Lord." He asked me about my own situation, and I told him about Willow Grace and our time here. After we talked for a while longer, he asked me if he could pray with me. Taking both of my hands in his own, he uttered the most beautiful, complete prayer including not only Willow Grace and her healing but also our whole family and every doctor, nurse, caregiver, and visitor who came in and out of our room. He prayed a special blessing over After the prayer, he hugged me and headed on upstairs to start his shift while I continued my journey to the cafeteria trying not to shed tears (even tears of joy and hope)so early in my day. What a blessed way to start my day!

Oh, how I needed that this morning. Willow Grace continues to improve though there are still so many challenges each day. Apparently she has developed an infection at the site of her picc line. She's been running a fever all weekend, and they did some tests to determine the cause. And so, they decided to give her two different kinds of antibiotics to cure the infection. The first one was fine, but the second one caused red man syndrome. In case you're not familiar with this condition, it's when a drug causes a person's head, neck, and sometimes torso to turn red and start itching terribly. Willow Grace had a terribly reaction. She was thrashing about violently, scratching her head frantically with both hands, and screaming. It was horrendous. The nurses decided to give her some Benedryl by IV which caused another crazy reaction. At first she calmed down, and then suddenly she was screaming, kicking, and thrashing about on the bed. Though Benedryl by IV can cause an adverse reaction in children, the severity of Willow Grace's reaction alarmed the nurse, and she gave Willow Grace some Tylenol and paged the doctor. A few moments after she had the Tylenol, in the middle of a crying out, she fell fast asleep, absolutely exhausted. The doctor came to examine her and determined that she would be fine. And most of the rest of the afternoon and evening, she has slept.

I'm hoping that she cotinues to sleep tonight, letting her little body heal and also allowing me to get some rest. I am one very, very tired mommy.

Once a teacher....

I am an English teacher, and that will always be part of me. It’s just not what I’m currently doing and haven’t since I had Willow Grace a little over 3 years ago. But I will always teach in some form, even if it’s an unconventional form. The last two years I worked for admissions, and I’m thrilled that this year finds me back in the classroom every day.

Current Job: Full time substitute teacher, middle and high school in a private Christian school
Job Satisfaction: Oh yeah!

This morning I sat in a sixth grade classroom listening to a girl praying for her classmates and their families. Through the wall, I could hear a third grade class next door singing “This is the Day” in their sweet little voices. Nearly every morning I sing that song myself, choosing to recognize that each day is a gift from God and also choosing to live my life in gratitude.

I love working in a Christian school. I love that at any moment you may walk into a classroom, office, or even hallway and find people praying. I love that our football teach sings “A Mighty Fortress is Our God” in the locker room before heading onto the field. And I am saddened that no everyone has that freedom, even in our country. Not trying to be political, just expressing my feelings… I’m not going to focus on the negative today. I really just want to express my gratitude for where God has assigned me. It has not always been easy. In fact, there have been moments, days, and even weeks when I thought about giving up and moving on. I’ve faced some of the hardest trials of my life here. But the Lord has kept me here, and I’m content to be here for as long as He wants.

~My Husband Rocks~ Friday

I get to brag on Chris again!

This week I have 3 reasons:

First, I love his voice. To begin with, he has a very soothing speaking voice. Willow Grace and I both love to sit and listen to him read. It's so calming, and he's been known to read us both to sleep. Also, he has a great singing voice. I love it when he plays his guitar and sings or when he sings in the car or really anytime he chooses to sing. Sometimes I ask him to sing to me, and he usually obliges.

Secondly, he can do all sorts of accents. His favorite one to to is an Irish one, and he slips into it so easily, often when we're out shopping which spices up the trip. He makes us laugh all the time with his great accents.

Thirdly, he's a great writer. While neither of us has actually published anything, we're both working on writing novels - both separately and together. I really hope that we'll be able to finish the one we're working on together first. It's been such a fun thing to do together.