Reflections

Today, as I sat at my reception desk in the middle school lobby, I heard a student coming in the front door, a distinct rattle issuing from her hand. It was the sound of a brown bag lunch. I love that sound. I love the beginning of each semester when stores have isles dedicated to school supplies. I always want to stock up on folder, pencils, and notebook paper.

I hated middle and high school.

Sure, I had good moments, but, for the most part, it was, for me, a mighty struggle. I attended a private, college-prep school, and most of the kids there came from upper middle class to high-class families. I always felt somewhat like Molly Ringwold from Pretty in Pink. I was the poor girl from the wrong side of the tracks, and I just didn’t fit. I didn’t travel to Aspen for Christmas or go on vacations to Europe in the summer. I didn’t receive a brand new car when I turned 16. I didn’t go for weekend shopping trips to Atlanta or Chicago; in fact, I almost never shopped at the mall or nice department stores. I didn’t attend parties every Friday and Saturday night. I certainly endured a fair share of ridicule. However, it was determined not to let it beat me, and I emerged from it all with a solid education, a thicker skin, and a stronger character.

It’s interesting to me that I actually like school so much. Perhaps it’s because my own education was book-ended so well. I loved both elementary school and college. From the time that I was a young girl, I wanted to be a teacher. I loved being a teacher. I still want to teach; after teaching for 10 years, I miss it, just about everything about it, but mostly the relational side of it. I always hoped to make the school experience better for the students than it was for me. It bothers me just a bit telling people that I’m not currently teaching, but it’s not what I’m supposed to be doing right now. I know that. God has a different purpose for me to fulfill right now, and I really am content to be in the middle of His plan, right where I’m supposed to be. The experience has been quite rewarding already. Of course, it’s also been quite nice to leave my work at work and have my home life be just about my family right now. But, more importantly, I have felt God using me in other’s lives. What more could I ask for?

Sloth Revisited/A Blank Calendar

I just looked at my planner for this week. There’s nothing on it for the weekdays. It’s silly, but it makes me nervous. With nothing on the calendar, I feel that twinge of guilt. The thoughts whisper, “Perhaps I’m not being active enough with my life; I really should be doing more.” Things like my job and taking care of my family are not events that require separate notations in my planner. My days are full. I do not NEED to do more. And now I can hear my husband’s voice, “You need to relax. Just come sit down.”

Is my Savior calling me to do the same?

“Relax. Sit down with me. Let’s talk.” Hmmm, yes, I do believe that He is. If there’s one thing we know about the Christian life, it’s that He desires one on one time with us. Bible reading is not a chore; it’s an opportunity to get to know the Father better. I know for a lot of the people that’s a major paradigm shift. It’s interesting to me how much we long for one on one time –major “face time” – with the people in our lives. However, we don’t really consider the fact that that is also desired of us, and even more than that our Abba Father desires it of us.

Maybe instead of seeing a blank calendar as a lack of purpose in my life, I should see it as an opportunity to carve out more time to spend with God. Now that’s what I call purpose!