Sing It and Mean It

I've now seen Frozen three times in the theater, all three times with Willow Grace. I had the privilege this last time to see it with my parents; my sister, Eva Joy; and my three year old nephew, Frazier. On Tuesday, we went to see the singalong version. So much fun!



What a delight to sit there in our tiny theater surrounded by children singing joyfully and laughing boisterously! For weeks now, ever since we saw the movie around Thanksgiving, my own sweet girl has been belting out the songs from the movie. My baby can sing!

Each time I hear the amazingly talented Idina Menzel sing "Let It Go" (or watch Willow Grace perform her own dramatic rendition and, of course, sing along with her) I can't help but think about the things in my own life that I've held on to for far too long or the things that are holding me back. Do I have any fears that I've allowed to take root in my soul? What habits, beliefs, thoughts, or behaviors do I allow to continue that are keeping me from the freedom to be who God has created me to be? Do I see my life clearly, or am I mistaking my blessings for curses or vice versa?

I want to sing about letting things go and really mean it.

So, here I sit, pondering these things, formulating a plan. I started this post a few days ago, and I've revised and erased and rewritten and stared at it. Honestly, sometimes it's really hard to let go... until you do, and then there's freedom. And so here I am -- dreaming of the freedom and plotting my journey to get there.

Over-share

I remember a time when I felt that my thoughts were so private. I fiercely guarded my secrets. Some I still do. But lately, hardly a day goes by when I don’t berate myself for over-sharing. When did that start happening?

I’m really hard on myself. Ask my husband. Ask my mom. Really, I should cut myself some slack, lay off a bit. I know the things that I’ve raked myself over the coals about my entire life. Over-sharing was never a problem. Until recently.

I blame Facebook.

No, really, I do. I am one of those people who checks in a few times a day and actually enjoys other people’s mundane reports on what they’re doing. However, often I find that there are plenty of people who seem to be having the most glorious day of their lives and know just how to turn a phrase when briefly describing their latest undertaking, even if all they’re doing is hanging out with family or running an errand. Adventure seems to pursue them on every wind.

And, yes, I do it, too. I think my life is beautiful and funny and crazy and, well, LIFE. And it’s fun to report the little amusing anecdotes and oddities and even the little things that are so blandly normal that just make me feel human. It’s even nice to be able to put a “have you ever” moment out there and receive a half a dozen responses indicating that you’re not the only one to have gone through something so hard or tragic or just weird.

Yet still, somewhere in there, I began to notice myself over-sharing. And not just on Facebook; it bled into my everyday life – standing at the coffee maker at work just waiting for that last drip so I can grab a mugful and hurry back to my to-do list and I babble to a passing acquaintance a little too much about my recent struggle with… whatever. Sometimes I feel like I’m talking in status updates.

But, Facebook isn’t the only problem.

I have a theory that some of this over-sharing also started when I stopped writing… and I mean really writing. I used to write all the time – journals, blogs, plays, short stories, attempts at a book or two, and so on. A few years ago, I stopped writing in my journal, something I had previously done since the age of 12. I also stopped writing here. I’m naturally a communicative person. I love to talk. Once again, just ask my husband or my mom. However, for most of my life, a lot of my communication came out in the form of writing. And I just stopped. All those excess thoughts, feelings, opinions, dreams, ideas, stories, ponderings, and just words had to come out somewhere. If you were the “somewhere” it got spilled (and sometimes spewed), I’m sorry.

My solution: I must write. And so, write I will. Here. There. And everywhere.

Shopping Buddies

What a blessing and joy is was to return to work this week! Just a couple days of normalcy and reacquainting myself with my workplace and colleagues... and a couple days to be loved on by all my work friends, it was just about perfect! I even got to have lunch at one of my favorite places yesterday, The Cottage in Bellevue, with my sweet friend, Megan, and accomplish a tad of Christmas shopping in their gift shop! Also, the fact that I was even at work was evidence that God had been faithfully working in our lives in healing Willow Grace and bringing her home. I would not have left her side otherwise.

And now, Christmas break has begun. Woo-hoo!

I love everything about Christmas - the sights, the sounds, the smells, the parties, the shopping, the celebrations, the decorations, the church services, the presents, the festive feeling, even seeing those tacky sweaters I refuse to wear on other people! Today, I'm going to try to accomplish a bit of my Christmas shopping with Mom and Willow Grace in tow, two of my favorite shopping buddies. We're celebrating our Christmas with Chris's family early, this Sunday, and so I must accomplish at least half of my shopping today.

For the first week we were in the hospital with Willow Grace, she didn't talk and hardly responded to us in any way. Once she started again, it was like she was making up for lost time and talked constantly, even in her sleep! One afternoon, just a day or two after she finally started talking again, while she was taking a long nap, she quietly murmured, "Shopping... I want to shop." That's my girl! Yesterday afternoon, when I returned from work, she and Chris were waiting for me parked outside our house. They had just returned from Cool Springs Mall where Chris had taken her to ride the carousel. That sweet girl LOVES a carousel! And she had been telling Chris that she really wanted to go to Target. Last night, she finally got her wish to go shopping. Not only did we go to Target, but we also took a lovely little drive down to the Ashland City Walmart. For those of you who tend to worry, don't! It was not taxing on her as she was content to ride around in the shopping carts while we were there. Also, we had her layered up and bundled her in new her heavy, thick kitty cat blanket. She was warm and toasty and was delighted to be out and about!

When we finally arrived home, it didn't take long for exhaustion to overtake us while we rested in the living room. Willow Grace was, of course, the first to slip off, and Chris carried her upstairs so that she could rest better in her little bed. Not long after that, however, I heard her calling for me. I hurried to the steps but just not quick enough. She was attempting to come down them when her little legs gave out half way down the first set. She tumbled down the last 3-4 steps and slumped over on the landing. She was unhurt, didn't even cry, but just desperate to get to me. Though she continues to build in strength and energy, she still has quite a bit of trouble with the stairs. However, I guess she just needed a little more time with Mama before settling down for the night. I was able to get her back to bed and off to sleep with little effort.

And now, I must hop around and prepare the two of us for our fun day ahead. I hope you are all well this fine December morning! I'm still reveling in the joy of having my girl home for Christmas and feeling the awe and wonder of the miracle my dear Father has accomplished in our lives.

Merry Christmas!

A perfect summer day?

Yep, I think that's pretty much what yesterday added up to.

Sleeping in just a little, painting Willow Grace's toe nails dark pink while she ate breakfast, Mom coming to spend the day with me and Willow Grace, free kids movie at the Regal theater, watching Willow Grace play with another little girl in the lobby of the theater, lunch at O'Charley's with a celebrity siting of Kenny Chesney, shopping, afternoon swimming, and then when Chris came home from work watching Willow Grace fall asleep in his arms while trying to eat a Bugle, enjoying the classic summer meal of grilled burgers and chips for dinner, waking Willow Grace to feed her dinner and then watch her play in her bath tub before bathing her and rocking her to sleep. Full day. Great day.

I love summer!

And today, it's back to work, but I'll have the next six days off, so I'm good!