Facing the Belly

Since I was a young girl, I’ve struggled with body image and being fit. There have been those times when I was in really great shape, and then there are those times when I just had a shape. The year before I became pregnant, I was struggling a great deal with my health and gained weight despite doing everything to move in the opposite direction. Even the doctors I was seeing couldn’t figure out what was happening. Blank, confused, unknowing looks from doctors are far from comforting.

And then I became pregnant.

And for now, we love the belly.

Just today, I mentioned to one of the office ladies that the baby was moving around quite a bit, and she immediately leaned over with her face very close to my belly and starting talking in high pitched, baby-talk. And then there’s the uninvited touching of the belly. Before I even have a chance to stop people, I receive a little pat or a quick circular rub as if the person is trying to call forth a genie or receive some sort of good luck. I thought that I would be greatly annoyed by this intrusion, this infringement on my personal space. However, it really doesn’t bother me at all. It just reminds me that others are excited about my baby, too, and that thrill is stronger than the strangeness I feel about someone touching a normally off-limits area.

Normally, I would want as little attention as possible directed towards my belly. However, maternity clothes accent the belly, and I find that I often absent-mindedly rub my tummy. You always notice pregnant women doing that, and I used to think that it was a result of more purposeful thinking, but now I think it’s because it often makes the woman feel closer to the baby without her even realizing what she’s doing.

We went to see the second hospital tonight, and now we’re leaning towards this one. The first one only allows two people to be in the room during delivery, and I really want to have Chris, Mom, and Eva with me. The second hospital allows up to five people to be with you! Also, the delivery rooms are a bit bigger, and all of the other services are the same. I don’t want to make a hasty or emotional decision, but I do think we’ll go with the second one.

For now, it’s been a long day, and I must get some rest. With a chest cold and cough that’s developed and the increasing activity of this little one, I’m quite worn out.