I hate feeling trapped. My personal brand of claustrophobia doesn’t have to do with elevators or small closets but with situations where I don’t feel like I can make a quick getaway. When I arrive at a new place, my brain involuntarily maps a way out for me in case I need to take it. This also works in social situations or when I feel like I don’t have a choice in a matter. I think that may have a lot to do with my wanting so desperately to switch the office and the bedroom. I am not saying that we won’t be doing that this weekend; it could still happen. What I’m trying to say is that I feel so much better about being in my current bedroom because I have a choice in it. I guess before I just felt like that’s the way things had to be. It was logical. Of course you take the master bedroom and leave the small one for the office. Eh, I know I’m rambling. But hopefully you see my point.
I like choices.
I guess I will just have to let you know what happens with the mini-move.
Right now I don’t feel like I have a lot of choices in wardrobe. I’ve gained weight, and once again I have those feelings of being trapped. And I feel so embarrassed. I know that’s because we live in a society where looks are ultra important, and people who are overweight are viewed as lazy. I always worry that people are going to see me as lazy, and so I work really hard not to be viewed that way. Wow, how’s all this for being transparent? Anyway, for the weight gain, I know that part of that is because of being so sick this last year, and we couldn’t figure out why it was happening nor was it ever really solved. However, I’m doing much better health-wise and am now combating the extra pounds, but I don’t feel like I’m doing such a great job. And I see pictures of myself before, like when Chris and started dating. (There’s a pair of jeans I wore then that I am anxious to get back into.) I felt so great about myself then, and I want to feel that way again. So, I’m working out, drinking a lot of water, and trying to eat sensibly. I guess it’s just not happening quickly enough for me. And I need some encouragement.
I really feel like I need to end this post on a positive note…. This has been a long pause, only a few dots for you, but for me….Oh, I know. My dad came by my work today quite unexpectantly. He was smiling and looked so handsome. He asked me what I had brought for lunch. I told him I had a Healthy Choice meal in the freezer, and he asked me if that’s what I really wanted for lunch because he was going to run out to do a couple errands and come back. So, I ordered the California chicken salad from O’Charley’s, and he brought is back for me. So sweet of him! And this is my favorite salad; really, it’s delicious. You should try it. How’s that for positive?
6 comments:
My dear it is quite possible that you are addicted to this California Chicken Salad. Of course I could think of worse addictions like picking your teeth at the dinner table or picking your nose in bed. I'm glad that you can find happiness in that.
OKay, that was me but darn it if I didn't push the wrong button
Someone once told me"In consistency lies the power".You and I both know its the key to reaching any goal you want to obtain.Many times there are obstacles that get in our way such as sickness,work,life,etc,but we can't give up.
Keep up the goodwork.I know you'll make it.Iv'e witnessed it your whole life.
Once I reversed our bedroom and livingroom.I'm not quite sure why but it was fun.Remembering this, I thought I did it because I wanted a fireplace in our bedroom,but I recall we had a fireplace in both rooms.Therefore I stress,DO NOT TAKE DRUGS!
I think you look amazing. I promise, I can't tell that you have gained weight at all. But I totally know what you mean. Before my surgery, when I felt horrible A LOT, I gained weight too. Plus, I still have some swelling on my tummy from the surgery, and in a picture that John took of me (from the side, when I didn't know he was taking a picuture--that s/b outlawed), my tummy looked HUGE. So, I joined Weight Watchers here at work. I've lost a little bit, but it is VERY slow. I'm trying to be patient. It helps that another WW member sits near me and we've been able to talk about it a few times. She's becoming a good support. So, I'm glad that you are blogging about it. And keep up the good work. You're doing great!! P.S., you're other comments are so funny!! I love them!!
Hey Kay, I've enjoyed reading your blog. I remember an old Dr. Katz episode when Ray Romano vented about making little choices that doom you for the foreseeable future, such as like which side of the bed to sleep on after marriage--"That's your side for life! I blew the call! I didn't even look at the tv-watching angle!" So it's pretty cool you aren't buying into the "that's your bedroom for the rest of your life!" and actually determining which room best fills the office need.
Interesting site. Useful information. Bookmarked.
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