Dancing in the Butterfly Garden with China

I’ve been reading a lot of other people’s blogs lately, and it has been somewhat intimidating. So many of these are used to spout one’s philosophy on any number of topics or to showcase a person’s intelligence. And I look at my humble little reporting here. It’s just general observations: a chance to share my thoughts, feelings, and activities with others. I start to feel that I should be more eloquent or that I should write about more important issues, issues that would reach toward some lofty goal, issues which would spark passion and fire and debate in others. That’s exhausting. And it’s not who I am. So, oh well.

But that raises the obvious question. Who am I? Do people ever stop asking this question? It’s not simple to answer, and the answer is never complete. Who we are evolves with each new experience.

Today I was a distracted and somewhat bored receptionist. While school is not in session, summer camps are in full swing. We have one that runs six weeks with primarily African-American children from North Nashville. It’s a chance for them to stay fresh on their academic studies and to engage in extra curricular activities such as art, theater, swimming, etc. I work in what is fondly referred to as the Birdhouse. It’s painted to look like a little birdhouse with vines and working blue-gray shutters. To my right is a small rectangular window that allows me to view guests in the waiting area and also any small children who may mosey by. I’ve been attempting to read, but my mind keeps wandering to my financial difficulties. That is until some little angel faced African-American child presses his little face or hand against the tiny window of my cubicle and smiles both shyly and mischievously. The children parade by here on their way to lunch, PE, and various other activities. And they peek at me through the window. Most of them have been reserved and the model of self control while others frantically try to get my attention, waving and smiling and calling out to me. And for a moment my heart feels a little lighter, and all that clouded my mind disappears as I gaze into those chocolate brown eyes, and I release a smile of my own. Just as I begin to bring myself back to the task at hand another child stops by and uses my little window as his own personal stage; he takes an opportunity to do a little dance then grins wildly and dashes away.

Why can’t we be more like this? I want to dance more.

There were a couple other happenings of interest from today. Chris came to work and surprised me with a sweet iced tea from Sonic. I’m addicted to sweet iced tea from Sonic. It’s a problem. Really. I think about it too much. Great, now I want some now. As Chris left I walked him out to the car so that I could check the mail, which is one of my very important receptionist duties. There’s also the fact that just outside the entrance there is a lovely flower garden. I always walk a little slower on the way back in the building in order to appreciate the beauty a little longer. Today I saw two of the most gorgeous, large yellowtail butterflies lingering around the flowers. I had to take a few extra moments to gaze at them and attempt to get as close as possible in order to better examine the intricate design on their wings. I love butterflies.

I also was given an eight piece setting of fine china. It’s very delicate and sweet with silver and gray detailing and a rose pattern. When I told Chris about this, he said, “That’s great, Honey…. Wait, where are we going to put it?” You see, we already have seven sets of dishes! Only one is really nice and used for dinner with company. One is for every day use. Two others are sets that have been in his family for years, and the last three are for special occasions. I know it’s a lot. We have too much stuff.