As I drove into work this morning, the roads and not the grass were covered in a light layer of snow. Strange. I scanned the ground searching for even the slightest trace of snow, and yet there was none. I don't think I've ever seen snow on the road and not the fields.
I have such a pretty drive to work. A great deal of my drive is through a park. Wide open fields mixed with densely crowded woods. I peered deep into those woods this morning, feeling an intense desire to visit them once again. It's been too long since I wandered around in the trees and wrapped myself up in the land. I miss it. However, winter is not for wandering - at least not in the frigid temps we've been having lately and certainly not with a six year old in tow.
But I need to find some way to clear out the clutter in my head, to quiet the noise, and to release all the words swirling around there. I need time and space to write and maybe even a stinging shot of inspiration.
Why must all of the richest of my ideas come while I'm driving or in the shower and then seep away into oblivion before my fingers touch a keyboard or my pen to paper? The busyness of life and the lure of entertainment has stifled the gift I know God put inside of me. As I drove here this morning, I prayed that He would keep it from atrophying or evaporating since I've neglected to use it for so long.
Write. Write every day. I know this is a must, and yet I lie in bed every night drained of energy and wishing that I had written just one line. I'm sitting here with twelve students as they serve their time in Saturday school copying pages out of the dictionary - certainly not fun for them and not something I looked forward to overseeing either, but it has allowed me this small space in which to gather some of my thoughts. I'm determined to improve, to write more, and hopefully, to write a bit every day. Maybe, just maybe, this is a start.
Showing posts with label snow. Show all posts
Showing posts with label snow. Show all posts
Saturday, January 25, 2014
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
New World
The world is new again. It feels much like it did when Willow Grace was a newborn or when she started to walk and discover things on her own causing me to rediscover so much I had forgotten or simply ignored.
Last night, Chris took Willow Grace and me out for a drive, just to get us out of the house for something pleasant and for a change of scenery. Even when it snowed a couple days ago, we remained indoors and simply peaked out the storm door marveling at the beauty of our world dressed in fluffy white crystals. First, last night, we stopped by Sonic for some sweet ice tea and corn dogs (for Chris & me, WG still not really eating) and then wandered around Bellevue in the car looking at Christmas lights. Fields blanketed in glistening snow, houses outlined with festive colored or white icicle lights, and yards bedecked with gently lit over-sized Nativities and giant blow-up snowmen and Santa Clauses -- I'm not sure whose eyes were wider, Willow Grace's or my own. First of all, we both LOVE Christmas, but also we've seen little else besides the hospital room and our house in almost a month. It was visually overwhelming, and we loved every minute of it!
Earlier in the day yesterday, Willow Grace had her first follow up appointment. Our pediatrician was very encouraged and encouraging. He told us that while her progress is slow and will likely continue to move forward slowly, she is still making progress. The long list of issues I quickly ticked off was met with a singular response - all normal parts of her recovery and no cause for concern. He believes that it could take another 3-4 weeks before her energy, strength, and appetite returns.
As for me, I've returned to work today. Strange, exhausting, and wonderful! I've been soaking up all the hugs, cheers, kind and loving words, and exuberant smiles lavished upon me. I am so grateful to work with such loving, thoughtful people. What a blessing! At the moment, I'm sitting in a room monitoring nine eighth graders who are taking their science exams. It's pretty laid back, a good way to ease back into things. I'll only be here for two days before Christmas break hits, and then I'll have the next two weeks to regroup, refresh, and help Willow Grace along in her recovery.
I want to continue to thank you for your prayers and words of encouragement and for loving my little family so well.
Last night, Chris took Willow Grace and me out for a drive, just to get us out of the house for something pleasant and for a change of scenery. Even when it snowed a couple days ago, we remained indoors and simply peaked out the storm door marveling at the beauty of our world dressed in fluffy white crystals. First, last night, we stopped by Sonic for some sweet ice tea and corn dogs (for Chris & me, WG still not really eating) and then wandered around Bellevue in the car looking at Christmas lights. Fields blanketed in glistening snow, houses outlined with festive colored or white icicle lights, and yards bedecked with gently lit over-sized Nativities and giant blow-up snowmen and Santa Clauses -- I'm not sure whose eyes were wider, Willow Grace's or my own. First of all, we both LOVE Christmas, but also we've seen little else besides the hospital room and our house in almost a month. It was visually overwhelming, and we loved every minute of it!
Earlier in the day yesterday, Willow Grace had her first follow up appointment. Our pediatrician was very encouraged and encouraging. He told us that while her progress is slow and will likely continue to move forward slowly, she is still making progress. The long list of issues I quickly ticked off was met with a singular response - all normal parts of her recovery and no cause for concern. He believes that it could take another 3-4 weeks before her energy, strength, and appetite returns.
As for me, I've returned to work today. Strange, exhausting, and wonderful! I've been soaking up all the hugs, cheers, kind and loving words, and exuberant smiles lavished upon me. I am so grateful to work with such loving, thoughtful people. What a blessing! At the moment, I'm sitting in a room monitoring nine eighth graders who are taking their science exams. It's pretty laid back, a good way to ease back into things. I'll only be here for two days before Christmas break hits, and then I'll have the next two weeks to regroup, refresh, and help Willow Grace along in her recovery.
I want to continue to thank you for your prayers and words of encouragement and for loving my little family so well.
Monday, December 13, 2010
Expectations
This snowy Monday morning finds Chris, Willow Grace, and me lounging in the living room. A blazing fire is merrily crackling away in the hearth, and Willow Grace has spent the last hour giggling incessantly for a dozen silly reasons causing us to join in with her without really knowing why. Perhaps it's just that we're all so happy to be here in our cozy home instead of still being couped up in that little hospital room.
We're slowly, very slowly, settling back into our life here, and I am trying to allow myself to rest without feeling guilty about it. Our 18 days in the hospital left me feeling quite exhausted. I know that I said to myself and others that I knew it would be a process, that I would have to readjust to life outside the hospital, and that it would take a some time for Willow Grace to finish her recovery and build back up her strength. I said it, and I believed it. Really, I did. And yet, it's an entirely different thing to live it. And so now I am continuing to employ patience, mostly with myself. I tend to be pretty hard on myself and hold myself to high expectations, sometimes unrealistically so. I don't have all the things we accumulated at the hospital organized and put away, and I haven't put away all of the autumn decorations that were still out waiting for the Thanksgiving we never got to have. There's so much to be done. I suppose it's time to cut myself a little bit of slack. It will all get accomplished, just not on the time table I had set up in my head.
Our first night home, Saturday night, I think that we were all just so grateful to be here that we practically melted into the furniture when we arrived. Willow Grace immediately started playing with her toys, but when she sat down on the floor she needed help getting back up. Later, when she tried to climb the steps to go to her room, she could only make it up one step! The last two nights, I tried to put her to sleep in her own bed, but at some point I ended up running, half-asleep to her side when she shrilly screamed out, "Mommy!" And inevitably, she has ended up in our bed. (Interestingly enough, she only calls me Mommy when she's sick, scared, or has some other problem she can't solve herself. Otherwise, it's Mama or Ariel.)Yesterday and today, she has gained back a tad more strength, and her appetite seems to be increasing as well. I so wish that I could take her out in this glorious snow. She loves it so much and wants so badly to build a snowman. So far, however, she has been content to look out the window at the snow. What's important is that she is on the mend, and we will get to enjoy our Christmas break with family and here in our little home. And I'm just going to pray for more snow this winter season for us to enjoy!
We're slowly, very slowly, settling back into our life here, and I am trying to allow myself to rest without feeling guilty about it. Our 18 days in the hospital left me feeling quite exhausted. I know that I said to myself and others that I knew it would be a process, that I would have to readjust to life outside the hospital, and that it would take a some time for Willow Grace to finish her recovery and build back up her strength. I said it, and I believed it. Really, I did. And yet, it's an entirely different thing to live it. And so now I am continuing to employ patience, mostly with myself. I tend to be pretty hard on myself and hold myself to high expectations, sometimes unrealistically so. I don't have all the things we accumulated at the hospital organized and put away, and I haven't put away all of the autumn decorations that were still out waiting for the Thanksgiving we never got to have. There's so much to be done. I suppose it's time to cut myself a little bit of slack. It will all get accomplished, just not on the time table I had set up in my head.
Our first night home, Saturday night, I think that we were all just so grateful to be here that we practically melted into the furniture when we arrived. Willow Grace immediately started playing with her toys, but when she sat down on the floor she needed help getting back up. Later, when she tried to climb the steps to go to her room, she could only make it up one step! The last two nights, I tried to put her to sleep in her own bed, but at some point I ended up running, half-asleep to her side when she shrilly screamed out, "Mommy!" And inevitably, she has ended up in our bed. (Interestingly enough, she only calls me Mommy when she's sick, scared, or has some other problem she can't solve herself. Otherwise, it's Mama or Ariel.)Yesterday and today, she has gained back a tad more strength, and her appetite seems to be increasing as well. I so wish that I could take her out in this glorious snow. She loves it so much and wants so badly to build a snowman. So far, however, she has been content to look out the window at the snow. What's important is that she is on the mend, and we will get to enjoy our Christmas break with family and here in our little home. And I'm just going to pray for more snow this winter season for us to enjoy!
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