I was reading over some of my previous posts and entries from my personal journal from the last year or so. There have certainly been a lot of changes, and there have been those things I so desperately wanted to change that did not. Somewhere in that time I lost some of my zeal. It has certainly been a difficult year, and, instead of using those challenging experiences to strengthen my resolve and enthusiasm, I folded. I’m not really sure if it happened all at once or if it was gradual; I suspect the latter.
Galatians 6:9 (English Standard Version)
9And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.
Part of my problem, I think, is that I did not follow the verse above. I grew weary. I put myself on autopilot and decided to “just make it through.” That didn’t work out so well. Without passion, I might as well be a silk tree. It looks nice and basically does the job, but there’s no life there. In many ways, I did give up, and so, even though I did the work, I did not receive the desired results.
If anyone reminds me the value of being positive and not getting weary, it’s my dad. Just today, he stopped by work to chat with me for a little while. It’s all about faith and trusting what God can and wants to do in your life. Trust. Sometimes I don’t trust God the way that I should. In my heart, I know that He loves me and is taking care of me, but I start looking at the waves and listening to the roar of the wind. My head starts to take over, and I… just forget. But Dad reminded me that you keep reminding yourself about God’s promises. You keep your head up and focus on Jesus. It’s hard to not be cheerful when focusing on Jesus.
I think one of the areas where I get most frustrated with myself is how forgetful I can be when it comes to the lessons God has taught me. I learn them anew and vow not to forget again. I plan to “write them on the tablet of my heart.” (I’ve even wanted to paint them on the walls at my house and would if I weren’t renting just now.) However, as time passes so does the impact of the lessons. When I return to notes I’ve made or journal entries I’ve written, I feel the shame of having let my faith waiver, and so I resolve once again to live all that I know in my heart to be true. Two steps forward, one step back. It’s progressive but not completely so.
So, what is my resolution now? That’s what I’m working on now.
2 comments:
I resolve to take the high road.
I don't know a soul who has ever said, "my life is perfect or easy".
It is crazy and difficult and challenging and hard for most people most of the time.
The high road for me is keeping the faith that God has given.All I am and all I have is truely because of Him.
The years I lived without Christ in my life were very painful and horrible,and the years I've lived with Him in my life have been wonderful but not without those trails and tribulations that are mentioned in the bible.
We will have hard times to go through because of the world we live in but we've got Jesus to walk with us through it.And He will certainly lighted our burdens.He has for me.Many times.
Unfortunately, the path of the Christian seems to be full of these kinds of hurdles. I sometimes get so overwhelmed by my own shortcomings that I forget that it really isn't about me or what I do. Yes, being a believer means a change in our hearts and ultimately in the way we live our lives, but we are so fortunate to be under the care of a completely merciful God, one who has promised to be an "ever-present help in trouble."
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