Willow Grace @ 9 months

We went for our 9 month photo session last Saturday. At one point, she was supporting herself on a large block and decided to let go. She stood there for a couple seconds, turned towards Chris who was behind her, and took a step towards him! I was so surprised and excited.

Here's a small sampling of her shots. Enjoy!

I love the progression of these pics.


Sitting pretty!


Those eyes just melt my heart!


On her own and with Mommy and Daddy's help...


Such a happy baby!

Mini-post

I really thought that I had posted more recently. I guess that's due to the constant journaling/monologuing that goes on in my mind.

So what's new?
Well, in the last three weeks, my back has gone out twice. I finally went to the doctor and found out that I have a muscle spasm in my lower back, and now I'm on the good drugs, resting, and applying lots of heat. Of course, my house is still not in order, and I'm having to just let it go. It will get done, just not in the time frame I've had in mind. I have to be OK with that.

This Saturday (tomorrow) we're taking Willow Grace for her 9 month pictures. Can you believe that she's that old? I certainly can't. I will of course, post some of those pics here. I'm totally in love with my daughter. I just can't stop gazing at her lovely little face. She's so much fun to be around. She soaks in everything, staring intently at new people's faces and expressions and trying to figure out how things work. And there is just nothing better than making her laugh. What a blessing!

OK, back to work for me....

Jesus Talking

Every morning, I eat my bowl of cereal while I watch the weather. Of course, in the process, I end up catching up on the top headlines and learning about various other happenings. For some reason, this morning, I started to flip the channels after the weather update. I ended up on TBN, the Christian channel, which I don’t normally watch. However, this morning, I stopped.

A teenage girl sat in what looked like a café with an older man that I, at first, presumed to be her father, but he ended up to be a man portraying Jesus. They were talking about the happenings of her day and also discussing some questions she had. It was a very laid back conversation. I loved the way he was relating to her, talking to her on her level without being condescending or “dumbing down” his explanations. He didn’t have some ridiculous far off look in his eyes or appear to be somewhere between this world and the “beyond.” In short, he didn’t portray Jesus the same way that so many movies or TV shows do. He was approachable, communicative, and informative. I found myself deeply drawn to their conversation and desiring so intensely that I could have the same kind of experience.

After they left the café, they wandered around the town, paused by the rails overlooking the river, and walked back to her house talking all the while. Before she headed into her house, she said, “When I was scared as a little girl, I always imagined myself doing the same thing.” He responded, “Do you think you’re too old for that now.” She replied, “I’ll never be too old for you.” He smiled and stretched his arms out wide, and she ran into them embracing him fully.

I know that might sound cheesy to some, but I found myself in tears. I yearn for that type of relationship with Jesus. Sometimes it’s so hard because I’m not able to have that tangible connection with him. I can read the Bible, pray, and listen for his voice in my heart, but I miss being able to just sit and feel the ebb and flow of conversation. I miss being able to look into his eyes. In our world, so much of our communication occurs through emails, text messages, and blogs like this one. We lose the nuances of the message this way. Tone, inflection, facial expression, and body language all lend themselves to meaning. I want to be able to see his face while he talks. I want to sit in some relaxing atmosphere and just talk about everything.

I want to listen and also to be heard.

Truly, we don’t really listen to each other the way we should. I’ve found myself talking very fast lately in fear that I would not be able to finish my thought before I’m interrupted. It seems that as soon as I mention a fact that peaks another person’s interest (regardless of whether of not she’s in the conversation), she jumps in with her own opinion or related story before I’m able to finish my own. Do I do that in my relationship with Jesus? Yes. I have a long way to go in my communication with him, and I’m working on it.

I am blessed.

I hear this sentence often as if it’s being whispered through the wind or even glowing in neon in my mind’s eye. I have all that I need right now and most of what I want. This is not to say that I am free from struggle or pain; that is certainly not the case. But when I read my friend’s blog (http://thewheelerjourney.blogspot.com/) and think of how painful it must be to miss your child so much, to not be able to hold her in your arms every day, I am reminded of my own blessings. I miss Willow Grace every hour that I am not with her, and yet I get to return to her at the end of each and every workday. I really want to adopt some day, and if that is the road that God wants to lead me down then He will prepare me for the journey and equip me with the strength and patience that I will need for such a trial. My prayers are with Lindsey and Chris Wheeler, and I hope to find ways than that to help them.

Last night I watched American Idol Gives Back. (Yes, this year I have actually become hooked on that show. It’s the first time that I’ve seriously followed it. For the two weeks after we moved, we didn’t have cable, and I had anxiety over the fact that I was missing it!) Anyway, my point is that even though I endured very difficult circumstances when I was a little girl, I never dealt with the types of loss that some of those children have suffered. As I rocked my little sweetheart to sleep last night, I thanked God that she has both of her parents, a safe place to live, and enough to eat. I’m not worried about a mosquito giving her malaria while she sleeps or if I will be able to feed her tomorrow. My daughter, like me, is blessed.

And I don’t take my blessings for granted.

I know where I could have ended up. Some of the girls I grew up with are there now or are fighting like mad to get out. I see their lives, and I am amazed at how different things turned out for us. I made some choices growing up. I choose to stay in school and study hard. I chose to go to college and to get a degree. I chose to have a career before marriage. While those are all good things, it’s not just because of me that I am where I am. I know that.

My parents were wonderful parents. They taught me to love God and to be honest, hard working, and respectful. They loved me and still love me well. And yet, even with all that they have invested in my life and as eternally grateful as I am to them, the main credit for how blessed I am cannot go to them. I have an amazing husband who loves me like I never dreamed could be possible. Because of him, I feel blessed, but even he cannot be credited for the state of my current life.

I could list of a host of people who have invested in my life. They have taught me, prayed for me, and love me. They have supported me emotionally, intellectually, and even financially. I have been blessed through them, but those blessings did not start with them.

I am blessed because God loves me. I am blessed because I have a relationship with Him. All that I am and all that I have is because of Him. I thank God that I am blessed, and I hope to spread that blessing on to others.

Between the Innkeeper and the Cop

Well, I hit a wall this weekend. I had planned to get as close at possible to getting our home in order. I really want to get to a point where I can post a few pics of the place. However, just after lunch on Saturday, as I was moving a few picture albums to the lowest shelf in one of our bookcases, my back went out. Major pain... in more ways than one. First, it just really hurt and kept me from being able to do anything else that day, even picking up the baby. At first, I couldn't even stand up, and we toyed with the thought of taking me to the walk-in clinic. However, I just couldn't see any sense in paying someone $25 to tell me to rest and take Advil. Second, it was a pain because I really hate just sitting around where there's work to be done, and there's quite a lot of work to be done. Finally, yesterday the pain started to go down a bit. It's still painful moving to sit, stand, or recline; it's just not as bad as it was.

I started to feel a bit old with an injury like that until I remembered that Lorelai on the Gilmore Girls had done the same thing. She was young and healthy and beautiful, so it must be OK, right? The only other point of reference I could think was Carl Winslow from Family Matters whose back went out on the dance floor. That just made me feel old, but if lovely Lorelai had the same problem, well, I must be normal. How strange (amusing, terrible, etc.) that I relate so much to what I've seen on TV. Anyway, the school nurse told me that lots of young moms end up with injuries like that after lifting and carrying car seats and other stuff everywhere. So, there you have it; I feel even less strange.(Just in case you're wondering about the post's title: Lorelai was an innkeeper, and Carl was a cop.)

I really hope that I'll be able to accomplish quite a bit this weekend, and maybe we'll finally be able to show you what our new home looks like. Before I get the usual warnings... yes, I will take it easy, will pace myself, and won't overdo anything.

From Blah to Woo-hoo

How strange that I was nervous about subbing in the high school today. It’s been pretty boring. All I did was basic crowd control or monitoring. The teachers just left work for the students to do, and all I had to do was to sit there and let them do the work. When I sub in the middle school, the teachers always leave active plans for me. I actually get to interact with the material and the students. I’ve enjoyed teaching all the different subjects and learning/relearning so many fascinating things. It’s a good thing that I always keep stuff with me to do. I actually had time to do so many things for me like, among other things, paying bills, working on my budget, researching brain development online, checking the weather for the week (since we don’t have our cable hooked up at home yet), and writing a bit on the novel Chris and I are writing together.

We finally moved the last of our stuff this weekend and cleaned out our old apartment. We are extremely relieved to be done with that part of our move. It’s amazing how, even with all of the unpacked boxes, unhung pictures, and general debris everywhere, I already feel more at home in our new house than I felt in our old apartment. I love it there! It’s nice to have more room and even to be putting things away in a place that is actually ours. Also, our neighbors have been very friendly so far. I mentioned a couple little details I was excited about in my last post. Here’s a couple more: kitchen sink facet that is also a sprayer and new side-by-side fridge with water and ice in the door.

Oh, one cool little thing is that all of the closet doors in each bedroom and the living room are mirrors. Willow Grace loves this! Babies don’t figure out until much later that the reflections are actually them, so she just thinks she has a little friend! We can sit her down in front of the mirror, and she will play for an hour with that “other baby.” She coos and giggles and tries to touch and kiss the other baby. Of course that means that we will have to keep those mirrors really clean, but it is so much fun to watch her, not to mention that it enables us to get a few things done like a load of laundry or eating a meal.

Have I mentioned how much I absolutely love being a mom? Chris and I were talking about this the other day, and we are both so thrilled to be parents. We’ve never in our lives been happier. We were very happy newlyweds and couldn’t see how we could get any happier, but having Willow Grace has brought a whole new level of happiness that we would never have understood had we not experienced it. By the way, she is now 8 months old, sits on her own, has two bottom teeth, is almost crawling, and is just so much fun.

New Home!

We're so excited about our new house. It has all happened so fast. Just a few weeks ago, we didn't know where we were going to end up. This house just fell into our laps, and the whole process cruised along so well. It's be clear to us that this has just been one more way that God is taking care of us.

Last week I spent my spring break packing the apartment and taking care of Willow Grace while Chris was gone to Georgia on a business trip. Of course, it was difficult to get much done while taking care of the baby. On Thursday, Mom and Donitta, Chris's mom, came over and helped my pack up quite a bit. I am so grateful for them. On Friday, Chris was home, and we went to buy a washer, dryer, and refrigerator. I think I'm just as excited about those three things as I am about the while house! There's so many little details to be excited about: spill proof shelves, room for gallon jugs in the door, a washer that doesn't sound like an airplane about to take off....

This week I'm back at work, and Chris is in Louisiana. There's so much left to be done. Pictures and blinds to hang, boxes to unpack, things to arrange. We have a busy weekend ahead, but we are so thrilled to have a new home in which to arrange all of these things.

I'll post pictures as soon as we get all of the odds and ends arranged.

SNOW DAY!

OK, so I was a little bummed that the snow didn't come on a school day and afford me an extra day home, but it was so pretty. And we got these really cute pics of Willow Grace.

She's not quite sure what to think, but she sure is cute!




Cuddling with Mommy!


She's looking at her daddy. Can you tell how much she likes him? I feel that way too!


Good news!
We're moving! We are actually buying a house! It's a townhouse but still a house. It's much bigger than our apartment with over 1500 sq.ft., three bedrooms, two and a half bathrooms, and a wood burning fire place. Willow Grace will no longer have to share her room with the office, a room which we have actually been calling the "nurfice." We hope to close in the next two weeks and then move. Woo-hoo!

“It’s only for a season.”

This is what Chris and I keep repeating to each other, and it applies to so many different areas of our lives. Here’s just a few:

(1) His traveling: He won’t always have to be away from home so much. There will come a time when he travels less or not at all. I won’t always have so much of the household and child rearing responsibilities because a time will come when he will be home more.

(2) My job: I will be changing positions at work next year. I will not be teaching! I know that to some this is or has been shocking, but it is where God is leading me for the “such a time as this.” I will be an administrative assistant. Already, I have seen God working through me in reaching out to others in this situation, and I won’t even start that job until this summer!

(3) Our housing: We’re not really sure what’s going to happen here. As I stated in my last post, our lease is up in April, and our landlord is trying to sell our place. So, in all likelihood, we’re going to have to move very soon. The problem is that we aren’t in a place where we can buy a home. There are also other complications. Right now, the best option seems to be moving in with my parents. In that case, we’ll be moving in a few weeks. We’re praying for God’s guidance in where to go – to my parents’ or to another place that He provides.

I will not become anxious about these situations. I will not dwell on the “what ifs.” I will be PATIENT and REST and TRUST GOD and PRAY. This is the only satisfactory way of dealing with the path that God is leading me down. I am excited to see what He is going to do in our lives. Stay tuned!

Patience = Rest

On Sunday, a week ago, we skipped church and took Chris to the doctor. He’d been sick for over a week, and it was time to get it taken care of. He came out with a diagnosis of bronchitis. I knew they were wrong. I had told him to ask them to check for walking pneumonia. Well, either he didn’t ask, or they didn’t listen. He’s still been sick all week and had to return to the doc on Friday, and his second visit has determined, just as I suspected, that he has walking pneumonia. Really, I don't want it to sound like I'm just reveling in the fact that I was right; I just want my husband to be well. He is home so infrequently, and it would be nice if he felt good when he's home. Oh, well. At least now, after his two shots and two new prescriptions, we're on the road to recovery. He just needs a lot of rest.

And so do I, but for some different reasons....

For some time now we've felt that there were some major changes coming up in our lives. It won't be much longer before we have to find a new place to live. Our lease is up in April, and our landlord is trying to sell our place. But there are some other things that are happening which I am not at this time able to discuss. What I will say is that I would appreciate your prayers. There are some decisions to make, and we just want to make sure that we are following God's will for us. Interestingly enough, I am not feeling anxious about these things. I've been praying quite a bit and focusing on Philippians 4: 4-19, particularly verses 4-7.

4 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!
5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.
6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

I have an open Bible on my desk at work sitting on a holder and open to the scripture above. Next to the scripture I have a sticky with "Patience = Rest" written on it.This is what I'm trying to practice right now.

I don't know what God has in store for us, but I trust Him. Now, I'm just waiting for Him to illuminate a little more of my path.

Reed Look-alike Meter

I snagged this from a friend's blog. I thought it was pretty cool, but I'm going to try some other pictures and see how it comes out each time.

MyHeritage: Family tree - Genealogy - Celebrity - Collage - Morph

Just Poppin' In

Life as of late has been crazy. Even now, as I try to type, I have a rather active little 6 month old trying to "help" me by grabbing my hands or pressing a few of the keys. You have no idea how many little corrections I've had to make so far! Or maybe some of you do. Chris has been out of town for much of the last six weeks. Sure he comes in between his trips , but it's really just long enough for us to go grocery shopping, attend church, and get him ready for his next trip. I am definitely craving some quality (and quantity) time with my husband. I've been working full time and then being mommy full time. Very little sleep. Extrememly tired.

But I wanted to just pop in a give an update and share a few pics from Willow Grace's 6 month photo session.

Nothing cuter than a baby in the buff!


I saved the really cute one of her on the tiny bench for our Valentine cards. However, I love the way she looks like she's listening for directions.


Such a happy baby. She smiles like this all the time.


She just started sitting on her own! We're so proud of her!


This is one of those little model poses. She loves the camera.


This is the dress we had her dedicated in. I hope that you can make out the lovely little cross she's wearing.


And finally, I just think she looks crazy happy here, and I can't look at it without laughing out loud!

Ozymandias and Me

When they come to the end of their life, how many people can claim to have done something really lasting? How many feel that they have left an indelible mark on this world? Have you ever read the poem, “Ozymandias”?


"Ozymandias of Egypt,"
by Percy Bysshe Shelley

I met a traveller from an antique land
Who said: "Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert. Near them on the sand,
Half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown
And wrinkled lip and sneer of cold command
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The hand that mocked them and the heart that fed.
And on the pedestal these words appear:
`My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings:
Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!'
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare,
The lone and level sands stretch far away.


Even those who think themselves to be of great importance end up being forgotten and even inconsequential, lost quite literally as Ozymandias was in the sands of time.

Have you made an impact? A lasting one?

What have I done?

I’ve worked with children and teens for years. Since I was in high school I’ve been hard at work on younger generations through teaching, discipleship groups, Bible studies, counseling, directing plays, and a myriad of other ways. The writer Nikos Kazantzakis said, “Teachers are those who use themselves as bridges, over which they invite their students to cross; then having facilitated their crossing, joyfully callapse, encouraging them to create bridges of their own.” Could this be said of me? Would any of the people that I have so fervently poured myself into see me as a bridge or a building block for what they have become or what they aspire to be? Kazantzakis's quote can relate to any person who imparts knowledge: parents, writers, coaches, pastors, etc. I would have to say that I have often seen myself in this way, and I hope that others would be able to say the same thing of me.

I certainly don't want to be like Ozymandias.

Just something I've been thinking of as of late since returning to work....

Oh, the Variety!

I am much enjoying my new job. I love doing different things every day and gaining experience in areas where I am not accustomed to teaching. It’s exciting to be mobile and flexible, and I’m ready to take on new challenges. This week on the agenda I have answering phones and teaching 7th and 8th grade math, 6th grade science, and 7th grade art. I was supposed to teach computer, which my husband found to be very amusing, but I have a meeting I have to attend instead. Being a computer tech, he knows how lacking I am in that department. I can only do basic stuff, but I can follow other’s lesson plans very well, so I don’t think it would have been a problem. Next week, I’ll be teaching English, which is normal for me, but I’ll be teaching 8th graders. For nine years I taught nothing but 7th grade English. In addition to the English, I’ll also be teaching 7th grade science and 8th grade history. Starting at the end of this month, I’ll be teaching 7th grade Bible for a month as our regular teacher has been invited to preach in Scotland for that time! By the time this semester has wrapped, I should have experience in just about every classroom in the middle school. How cool is that!?!

In addition to the variety of tasks and the basic fact that I still have a job and am bringing in much needed income, I can’t think of four other great perks to this new position. (1) I will get to know every student in the middle school. (2) I am getting more opportunities to engage with my colleagues and get to know them on a more personal level. (3) No lesson planning. (4) No essays to grade. After the difficult year I suffered last year, I am confidant that I will end this one in a positive manner.

Leaving Willow Grace on Monday was excruciating! I really thought that I was going to be able to be strong and not shed a tear, and I just absolutely failed at that! Returning to her in the afternoon is like receiving a great reward for a job well done. I think about her all day and gaze at the pictures of her scrolling across the screen of my laptop when I have a chance. As the week has progressed, it has become easier to leave. For the last two days, Chris has been able to stay with her, and I love that they are getting some daddy-daughter time. I think that’s so important for their bonding. I will always miss her, but it will be in less overtly emotional ways. In a couple weeks, I have a three-day weekend coming up, and I just can’t wait to have that extra time with her. And, of course, spring break just can’t come fast enough!

It's Over!

Well, here we finally are. Tomorrow is my first day back to work after my maternity leave. I can't believe that it's gone by so fast. While I am looking forward to being a little more a part of the outside world again, I really would rather just stay with my precious little Willow. But that is just not possible right now. I do have a great set up at work, so I won't have to be away from her as much as a lot of other mothers have to be away from their children. I just never would have thought that I would want to be a stay-at-home-mom. I always pictured myself as the working mother, and that's what I will be but with some trepidation. Chris's mom, Donitta, asked my mom if she was going to have the tissues and smelling salts ready when I dropped Willow off. I have a constant pep talk going in my head right now. "You will be strong. You will not cry. It's only for a few hours, and she's going to be safe and happy with Mom." I'll let you know if it works.

To make matter a tad more difficult, Chris will be on a business trip this week. I had really hoped that he would be home for a couple days while I returned to work, making the transition a bit easier for me. However, we're just going to dive right into the deep end of the pool... in the middle of winter. He leaves today, in just a few hours.

Last night was a really special night for us. Our families joined us at our church, Fellowship Bible Church, and we had both Willow Grace dedicated and Chris baptized. It was such a warm, precious night for us. Well, it could have been warmer for Chris. The water in the baptismal fount was apparently quite frigid. Each person who stepped into the water had a look of shock and sat their shivering while the pastor asked them a couple questions. Anyway, it was a blessing to have our families there. Afterwards, Chris's parents opened up their home for both of our families to gather for a little food and fellowship. The evening simple could not have gone better. Intestingly enough it didn't start off that way since we forgot Willow's burp cloths and Chris's clothes for the baptism, but somehow everything just came together and has now left us with the fondest of memories. I wish that I had pictures to share with you, but I forgot my camera and need to get copies from my sister's. I am so thankful that she brought her camera and that Matt, her husband, filmed the whole thing. Thanks Matt and Eva!

I hope that your new year has gotten off to a peaceful start. By the way, if you haven't seen it yet. Check this out:
http://www.pampers.com/en_US/getSTFDetails.do?videoid=831657FA4E5ABA99
It's the same commercial you may have seen on TV during the holidays but has four different shots of Willow Grace.

Happy New Year!

Merry Christmas!

Home for Christmas

Finally! Chris is home. We didn't think he'd return from his business trip until Christmas eve, and I really, really wanted him to be able to spend all of Christmas with us - both Christmas eve and Christmas day. To my great joy, he was able to come back last night. He actually arrived around 2 AM this morning. I was sleeping, but he woke me up and through my groggy fog I could hardly believe that he was standing there smiling at me. Surely, I thought, this has to be a dream. But it wasn't, and it's not.

He's been traveling constantly for the last month and a half, and I've been missing him so very much. He's been home a couple days here and there, but mostly he's been on the road. I know that what I go through can't begin to compare with what military wives go through, but knowing how blessed I am does not make me miss him less or ease the strain of daily life without him.

And so we go into Christmas with the blessing of having him home a couple days earlier than expected, and the two Reed girls (Willow Grace and myself) could not be happier (or merrier).

Here's Willow Grace getting ready for Christmas.

To Clarify....

I should have explained fully to begin with, but here goes....

My subbing job is different from most, I think. I teach at a private Christian school,Christ Presbyterian Academy, and I'm going to be working with the same people that I've been working with for the past ten years. I'm just going to be helping them out when they need to take personal or sick days, and I'll be working on organizational and administrative tasks. My first year at CPA was a lot like this, except that I didn't know as much about the people and the school as I do now. Most of my sub work will be in the middle school, but I'll venture over to the high school occasionally which is so cool because I'll get to be with some of the student's that I taught before and miss so much. I will be there every day just like I was before; I just have a different job title.

Interesting tidbit of news....

For those of you that don't know, I have been taking this semester off of my teaching job to be with my sweet Willow Grace. I plan to return to work in January, but there have been some "developments." I will not return to teaching English, at least not for this year. Maybe never. I don't know. What I will be doing is subbing full time. I will be there every day filling in wherever I am needed mostly in the middle but a bit in the high school. Just so you know I am THRILLED about this.
1. no take home grading
2. no lesson plans
3. At the end of the school day, I'm done.

The curriculum has moved to primarily teaching writing. While I myself love writing, I do not enjoy teaching it, and, quite frankly, it's not one of my strengths. I love teaching literature; it's the primary reason I choose English Education in college.The head of the middle school English department even told me that she has never met a teacher more gifted at teaching literature. But sadly, over the last few years, I went from being just a literature teacher to teaching mostly grammar and writing. I didn't mind when the curriculum was more balanced between literature and grammar, but that's just not the case anymore.

What will happen after this year? I don't know. I can only see the next few steps in the path that God is preparing for me. But I'm excited. I can't wait to see what He's going to do b/c I trust that He has great plans for me.

Chris and I have some new dreams that we are working on together, things that we are researching and praying through. And, hopefully, soon we will resume work on the novel that we've been writing together.

I know that returning to work will be extremely difficult for me, but at least I have Mom and occasionally Chris's mom to care for my daughter. That, at least, is a great relief. I'll be praying until then that God helps me to make the transition smoothly and with fewer tears than I expect.

What City Do I Belong In?

Here's the result of a little quiz I took.

You Belong in Paris

Stylish and expressive, you were meant for Paris. The art, the fashion, the wine! Whether you're enjoying the cafe life or a beautiful park... You'll love living in the most chic place on earth.

What City Do You Belong In?

I don't think I'd ever want to live in Paris, but I would love to visit it again. I went once when I was a senior in high school, and I think it would be fabulous and oh so romantic to go with Chris.