Passions and Ponderings

Ooops. Try Again Tomorrow.

2011-05-16T11:59:00.004-05:00

Every morning when I wake up the first thing I see is a small sign which sets on my shelf with the message “Trust Me Always, Love God.” And I always try to make the first words out of my mouth be based on Psalm 118:24, “This is the day the Lord has made; I will rejoice and be glad in it.” It’s an effort to get my day started off focused on Christ and not on all the things that could potentially go wrong, be annoying, or get me off track.

Well, this morning, for whatever reason, I forgot.

And, please know, I’m not actually saying that things went downhill because of that lapse in memory, but….

I was running ten minutes late on my way to drop of Willow Grace with Mom this morning. And so I was distracted and was speeding which led to me getting pulled over and receiving a ticket. The officer was calm but also felt the need to tell me that he was annoyed with me. Did you know that you’re supposed to stay ½ a mile behind a police car? That’s what he told me. I was following him too close, apparently. He was speeding; I was behind him. He slowed down, got behind me, and pulled me over.

I shared with one of my classes all that I’ve just written and told them, rather tongue-in-cheek, that they could feel free to blame anything bad in their day on me today since I had forgotten to center my trust and thanksgiving on the Lord this morning. Happy to play along, so far, the students have blamed me for bad grades, forgotten homework, misbehaving in class, and a small assortment of other frustrations.

Ah well…. You can be sure I will be mindful to start my day off right tomorrow.

In Thinking About Success

2011-01-18T13:44:00.007-06:00

How do you measure the success of a day, a year, or even your life? Yesterday, I was quite productive. Being off of work, I managed to clean almost the entire house, take the recycling to the recycling center, go to the grocery store, take Willow Grace out to lunch and tend to her all day, make dinner, and finish a bit of laundry. I even started the day with devotional time. I did not, however, get the mid-month bills paid or work out. Was it a successful day? Partially successful? What even makes up the criteria for which this could be judged? I tend to be consistently optimistic and yet rigidly hard on myself. So while I feel buoyed by the fact that I accomplished so much, I also berate myself for not finishing all the tasks I set out to complete. My quest, as in all things, is to discover the correct response to this query and then to attempt to adapt that into my life. We're supposed to work diligently and to be responsible for what is put before us while making our lives be about God and others and not just ourselves. In examining myself, I must ask the question: Is this how I live my life? And that simply cannot be answered once and allowed to rest. It's an every day, every moment, kind of question.

Love, Nephrology & Play Dates

2011-01-14T09:37:00.009-06:00

This morning I heard a preacher say something that I've been chewing on mentally all day. In dealing with the subject of judging, he said that God had shown him that it's God's job to judge, the Holy Spirit's job to convict, and our job to love. Love. Love. Love. That's what we are supposed to be all about. There's so much more that can be said to break this all down more, but I'm just mulling it all over and purposing to live it out.

Update on Willow Grace:
I can't believe that we've been home from the hospital for a little over a month! Yesterday we had our check up with the nephrologist (kidney doctor). Everything went well, except for having to have blood taken (oh, the wailing!) and the fact that the initial tests indicate that her little kidneys are having to work too hard. At this moment, I am actually waiting for a call from Vandy Children's to let us know what the further tests and labs indicate and what we might need to do to help her to fully recover. Really, we have two options. Either she'll need to take medicine to help her kidneys function better, or we'll just wait, monitor her progress, and check everything again in a month or two. I'm praying for the latter. The doctor also said that we need to keep her our of school for another week to allow her immune system to get a bit stronger. She's still so different than she was before this whole thing began. Her energy level is lower as is her appetite, and she still gets me up between 2-3 AM every morning. I really could use more than 4-5 hours of sleep a night!

We were blessed with two snow days this week. I know that many people here in Middle Tennessee have had most or even the entire week off, but working in a private school changes the rules on that a bit. On Tuesday, my friend Ralanna brought over her two beautiful little girls, Kassidy and Addy, to play with Willow Grace. When they first arrived, Willow Grace was overjoyed and seemed just like any other little girl her age. They all immediately put on princess dresses, and started playing with the tea set and Disney princess dolls and running all over the house. It was absolutely delightful watching those three little beauties dancing around each other chattering incessantly and giggling over all sorts of silliness. However, about 45 minutes into their visit, Willow Grace became increasing quiet. She wasn't interested in wearing her princess dress or playing with anything. She just wanted to be near me and to sit on the couch and watch her beloved Veggie Tales. They still stayed for another hour or so, and she was happy to have them there but just didn't have the energy to join in. When they left, it was time for dinner which I had to feed to her myself and wake her up in between bites. She was in bed for the night by 6 PM!

I hope you have a wonderful weekend. And don't forget to be purposeful in loving others!

Fresh Perspective and Resolutions

2011-01-03T20:39:00.012-06:00

This morning I stood just outside my mom's storm door watching Willow Grace wave to me and blow me kisses. After every summer, Christmas break, and spring break I have a hard time leaving her once again, and this morning I felt that familiar twinge, that wrenching feeling tugging at my heart. And yet, as I peered back through the glass and skipped off towards my little car, I couldn't help but smile. The fact that I was leaving her meant that she is well enough for me to return to work. She is well and getting healthier every day. I am overwhelmed with gratitude.

In the last couple days I've heard several stories about other parents who have recently lost their children - to illness, accidents, and suicide. One of those families has a story similar to ours. They took their young daughter to the emergency room a couple weeks ago, and just like us they were encouraged to take her home. We were blessed to have an amazing nurse who was a strong advocate for us and enabled us to stay at the hospital, which was good because it wasn't until the next day that we found out how serious Willow Grace's condition was. This other family, they took their little girl home, and just a few days before Christmas she died. My heart grieves for that mother and father and for all those who love that little girl. As I go to sleep each night, I pray for them. In the middle of the night, I wake up praying for them, and I do the same when I wake in the morning. This could have so easily been us, and I am so very grateful that at this moment my dear girl is sleeping peacefully in her own bed just down the hall.

All of these stories have reminded me of what a great war we wage each day. This isn't all just happenstance; we have a real enemy who daily seeks to wreck our lives, ripping apart our families and stealing our peace in any way he can. "The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly." (John 10:10 NKJV) We have to fight for each other. We have to fight for our children, our families, and others who do not yet know how to fight for themselves. The first and most important step in this is faith-filled prayer. It's the most powerful weapon we have. I'm committing myself to pray more for others this year than I ever have.

One other thing I've decided to do is start writing again in my grateful journal. I used to be quite faithful in writing down 3-5 things each day for which I was grateful, but somewhere along the line in the last few years I seriously started slacking in that department. I really want to live in gratitude, constantly aware of how God has blessed my life, and so, at least a few times a week I plan to jot down a few of those blessings.

Here's what I'll be adding tonight:
1. Shared a delicious breakfast at Lovelace Cafe with 130+ co-workers and some of my dearest friends this morning
2. Had a great conversation on the phone with a sweet friend whom I haven't been able to talk to in quite while
3. Woke early this morning and had good devotional time with my Savior
4. Was able to start working out again this morning. Love Pilates!
5. Had a fun trip to the grocery store with Willow Grace and enjoyed "oohing" and "ahhing" at the last of the Christmas light displays with her on the way home

Odds & Ends (and a Peaceful New Year)

2011-01-02T13:33:00.013-06:00

It's been a few days since my last post, twelve to be exact. However, I've been wrapping myself up in a cozy quilt of home, family, and Christmas. Sitting in front of a roaring fire that my husband has lovingly built and watching Willow Grace play happily with her new toys in front of the Christmas tree while I tackle a few dozen thank you notes has taken most all the extra time I've had, not that I've had much.

It turns out that Willow Grace has needed almost as much tending to out of the hospital as she did in. While most people might see Willow Grace and think that she looks close to normal, there are things a mother's eye do not miss. The pale shade of her cheek, the faint dark circles under her eyes, the lack of luster in her hair, the tendency to whine -- these all do not belong to my daughter. She's also been getting up between two and four o'clock every morning and staying up. We both are in desperate need of more sleep. Never has she been so clingy or so quick to cry. Since she was a newborn she was low-maintenance and seemed to have a near perfect balance of dependence and independence. However, that seems to have changed a bit since she became ill. The doctor assures me that this is quite common in recovering from HUS and an extended hospital stay and all will be back to normal in a few weeks. I had to take her back to the doctor last week. She was looking quite ghost-like, was coughing incessantly, and often threw up whenever she coughed too hard or cried too hard. It turns out that it's just a really nasty cold made worse by her compromised immune system. The doctor said it would be another couple weeks before her immune system is strong enough to fight off much, and so we've decided to keep her out of school for at least a week and maybe two.

Both Chris and I ended up at the walk-in clinic yesterday morning. It was kind of weird to be seen as a couple, but since we had basically the same symptoms, I guess they thought they'd "kill two birds with one stone" (the birds being the illnesses and not us). We had already sent Willow Grace to stay with his parents on New Year's Eve to help protect her from whatever was going on with us; she certainly didn't need anything more to deal with. It turns out that both of us were diagnosed with sinusitis, and I had also developed bronchitis. A pair of steroid shots and a couple of z-packs later, and we were good to good to go!

Upon arriving home from the hospital a couple weeks ago, I've been busily trying to get the house into some sort of organized state, a battle that I feel starts fresh every morning, complicated somewhat by tending to a recovering daughter and then falling ill myself. Of course I won't be taking down my tree until next Saturday. The twelve days of Christmas ends on Wednesday, and Saturday will be my first chance to tend to that task. That's fine by me; we were so late in getting it up. I really don't mind enjoying it a little while longer. However, perhaps after all the holiday trimmings are put away things will start to fall into place a little easier.

A new year. And so we begin again. The new semester starts tomorrow, and I am truly looking forward to being back with my colleagues and friends and to getting back into a normal schedule. This year, I am a full-time substitute, which keeps me quite busy but generally spares me taking grading or other work home. For the first month back to school, however, I'll be teaching eighth grade science. Yes, eighth grade science for a month! I'm a little nervous about this, especially since my natural talents tend to be in the humanities and not in the areas of math and science. However, I relish a challenge, and I am sure that I can meet this one. In the realm of new beginnings, I also haven't worked out since before Willow Grace fell ill, and so my plan is to start that back up again tomorrow. Yes, I know I've been ill and out of practice; don't worry. I'll start out slow. I think I'll kick it off with some Pilates and light jogging this week to get myself loosened up and ready for something more strenuous by next week.

One final note: This morning, I was listening to a preacher who said that Christmas was about reconciliation and peace, not between men and each other but between men and God. When the angels said, "Peace on earth," they meant between men and God. Either I had never thought of it that way before or it never really struck me as it did this morning. I had sometimes wondered why there wasn't more peace between men. In discussing this with Chris, he said, "Of course, there will never be peace between men.... A man must have peace with God before he can have peace with men." And so, this year, my wish, my prayer, for you, my dear friends, is that you may have peace in your home, with your family, and with all those you come into contact but most of all with Jesus Christ.

Refocus

2010-12-22T07:36:00.006-06:00

Whenever I look back over my life and find moments or even long periods of floundering in stress and emotional struggles, I cannot help but notice and admit that whatever difficulty I may have been facing was made so much worse if I failed to spend time in prayer and the Scriptures. Confusion, emotional strain, depression, feeling overwhelmed - all of these and more start to creep in when I like, Peter, take my eyes off of Jesus and look at the storm raging all around me. In truth, the reason why I handled my time so well at Willow Grace's side in the hospital is because I spent so much time all day long and even in the night watches praying, reading the Bible, and listening to good preachers of faith on the internet. I surrounded myself with scriptures in our little room, posting them at eye level so that in whichever direction I or anyone else looked, even in the bathroom, there was something uplifting to encourage our spirits. Indeed, there were times when a doctor or nurse would stand there, wearing some dark expression, and gravely utter some negative report, and I, instead of meditating on that human reasoning, chose instead to focus on the promises my dear Lord gave me ages ago.

After we all returned home from the hospital we struggled to return to some sense of normalcy, and in my desire to return my home to a somewhat organized state focused more on that than I did on spending time with my Savior. I began to feel overwhelmed and frustrated, and I realized once again that I had made a poor trade - organization for time with the Lord. My heart, mind, and emotions all began to betray me and travel down paths devoid of the Lord's calling. We are still adjusting and working through Willow Grace's recovery. She continues to improve more and more each day. She is actually sleeping between 11-14 hours each night! Her little body (and I do mean little, as she lost so much weight) is busy in the healing process. However, in most respects, things have calmed down considerably, and so, I now readjust and refocus and thank my God that all along the way He is with me, gently leading me back into His presence and in the way I should go. I confess that I so desperately need Him, and that is one place of desperation for which I am not ashamed.

Shopping Buddies

2010-12-17T07:01:00.006-06:00

What a blessing and joy is was to return to work this week! Just a couple days of normalcy and reacquainting myself with my workplace and colleagues... and a couple days to be loved on by all my work friends, it was just about perfect! I even got to have lunch at one of my favorite places yesterday, The Cottage in Bellevue, with my sweet friend, Megan, and accomplish a tad of Christmas shopping in their gift shop! Also, the fact that I was even at work was evidence that God had been faithfully working in our lives in healing Willow Grace and bringing her home. I would not have left her side otherwise.

And now, Christmas break has begun. Woo-hoo!

I love everything about Christmas - the sights, the sounds, the smells, the parties, the shopping, the celebrations, the decorations, the church services, the presents, the festive feeling, even seeing those tacky sweaters I refuse to wear on other people! Today, I'm going to try to accomplish a bit of my Christmas shopping with Mom and Willow Grace in tow, two of my favorite shopping buddies. We're celebrating our Christmas with Chris's family early, this Sunday, and so I must accomplish at least half of my shopping today.

For the first week we were in the hospital with Willow Grace, she didn't talk and hardly responded to us in any way. Once she started again, it was like she was making up for lost time and talked constantly, even in her sleep! One afternoon, just a day or two after she finally started talking again, while she was taking a long nap, she quietly murmured, "Shopping... I want to shop." That's my girl! Yesterday afternoon, when I returned from work, she and Chris were waiting for me parked outside our house. They had just returned from Cool Springs Mall where Chris had taken her to ride the carousel. That sweet girl LOVES a carousel! And she had been telling Chris that she really wanted to go to Target. Last night, she finally got her wish to go shopping. Not only did we go to Target, but we also took a lovely little drive down to the Ashland City Walmart. For those of you who tend to worry, don't! It was not taxing on her as she was content to ride around in the shopping carts while we were there. Also, we had her layered up and bundled her in new her heavy, thick kitty cat blanket. She was warm and toasty and was delighted to be out and about!

When we finally arrived home, it didn't take long for exhaustion to overtake us while we rested in the living room. Willow Grace was, of course, the first to slip off, and Chris carried her upstairs so that she could rest better in her little bed. Not long after that, however, I heard her calling for me. I hurried to the steps but just not quick enough. She was attempting to come down them when her little legs gave out half way down the first set. She tumbled down the last 3-4 steps and slumped over on the landing. She was unhurt, didn't even cry, but just desperate to get to me. Though she continues to build in strength and energy, she still has quite a bit of trouble with the stairs. However, I guess she just needed a little more time with Mama before settling down for the night. I was able to get her back to bed and off to sleep with little effort.

And now, I must hop around and prepare the two of us for our fun day ahead. I hope you are all well this fine December morning! I'm still reveling in the joy of having my girl home for Christmas and feeling the awe and wonder of the miracle my dear Father has accomplished in our lives.

Merry Christmas!

New World

2010-12-15T08:37:00.009-06:00

The world is new again. It feels much like it did when Willow Grace was a newborn or when she started to walk and discover things on her own causing me to rediscover so much I had forgotten or simply ignored.

Last night, Chris took Willow Grace and me out for a drive, just to get us out of the house for something pleasant and for a change of scenery. Even when it snowed a couple days ago, we remained indoors and simply peaked out the storm door marveling at the beauty of our world dressed in fluffy white crystals. First, last night, we stopped by Sonic for some sweet ice tea and corn dogs (for Chris & me, WG still not really eating) and then wandered around Bellevue in the car looking at Christmas lights. Fields blanketed in glistening snow, houses outlined with festive colored or white icicle lights, and yards bedecked with gently lit over-sized Nativities and giant blow-up snowmen and Santa Clauses -- I'm not sure whose eyes were wider, Willow Grace's or my own. First of all, we both LOVE Christmas, but also we've seen little else besides the hospital room and our house in almost a month. It was visually overwhelming, and we loved every minute of it!

Earlier in the day yesterday, Willow Grace had her first follow up appointment. Our pediatrician was very encouraged and encouraging. He told us that while her progress is slow and will likely continue to move forward slowly, she is still making progress. The long list of issues I quickly ticked off was met with a singular response - all normal parts of her recovery and no cause for concern. He believes that it could take another 3-4 weeks before her energy, strength, and appetite returns.

As for me, I've returned to work today. Strange, exhausting, and wonderful! I've been soaking up all the hugs, cheers, kind and loving words, and exuberant smiles lavished upon me. I am so grateful to work with such loving, thoughtful people. What a blessing! At the moment, I'm sitting in a room monitoring nine eighth graders who are taking their science exams. It's pretty laid back, a good way to ease back into things. I'll only be here for two days before Christmas break hits, and then I'll have the next two weeks to regroup, refresh, and help Willow Grace along in her recovery.

I want to continue to thank you for your prayers and words of encouragement and for loving my little family so well.

Expectations

2010-12-13T07:33:00.003-06:00

This snowy Monday morning finds Chris, Willow Grace, and me lounging in the living room. A blazing fire is merrily crackling away in the hearth, and Willow Grace has spent the last hour giggling incessantly for a dozen silly reasons causing us to join in with her without really knowing why. Perhaps it's just that we're all so happy to be here in our cozy home instead of still being couped up in that little hospital room.

We're slowly, very slowly, settling back into our life here, and I am trying to allow myself to rest without feeling guilty about it. Our 18 days in the hospital left me feeling quite exhausted. I know that I said to myself and others that I knew it would be a process, that I would have to readjust to life outside the hospital, and that it would take a some time for Willow Grace to finish her recovery and build back up her strength. I said it, and I believed it. Really, I did. And yet, it's an entirely different thing to live it. And so now I am continuing to employ patience, mostly with myself. I tend to be pretty hard on myself and hold myself to high expectations, sometimes unrealistically so. I don't have all the things we accumulated at the hospital organized and put away, and I haven't put away all of the autumn decorations that were still out waiting for the Thanksgiving we never got to have. There's so much to be done. I suppose it's time to cut myself a little bit of slack. It will all get accomplished, just not on the time table I had set up in my head.

Our first night home, Saturday night, I think that we were all just so grateful to be here that we practically melted into the furniture when we arrived. Willow Grace immediately started playing with her toys, but when she sat down on the floor she needed help getting back up. Later, when she tried to climb the steps to go to her room, she could only make it up one step! The last two nights, I tried to put her to sleep in her own bed, but at some point I ended up running, half-asleep to her side when she shrilly screamed out, "Mommy!" And inevitably, she has ended up in our bed. (Interestingly enough, she only calls me Mommy when she's sick, scared, or has some other problem she can't solve herself. Otherwise, it's Mama or Ariel.)Yesterday and today, she has gained back a tad more strength, and her appetite seems to be increasing as well. I so wish that I could take her out in this glorious snow. She loves it so much and wants so badly to build a snowman. So far, however, she has been content to look out the window at the snow. What's important is that she is on the mend, and we will get to enjoy our Christmas break with family and here in our little home. And I'm just going to pray for more snow this winter season for us to enjoy!

The Questions That Remain

2010-12-11T06:32:00.013-06:00

In the days and weeks to come, I know that I'll continue to process and reprocess all that has happened in our lives in the last month. And I'm sure that I'll work quite a bit of that out writing on my blog. There will be questions that simply will not be able to be answered such as: Where did Willow Grace come into contact with the e. coli? We have answered what seems like thousands of questions from doctors, nurses, and specialists; and Chris and I have even talked to the state department several times in order to solve this mystery, and yet we have still not come up with a viable source. And so, eventually, we'll choose to put those wonderings to rest and just choose to be thankful for our healthy, happy little girl.

(We took a little outing yesterday down to the 2nd floor. Willow Grace was so excited about her ride in the red wagon!)

For the moment, however, we are in a state of waiting. A little less than an hour ago, the nurse came to draw blood, and we are waiting to hear back from the lab. We need to see if, after yesterday's surgery, Willow Grace will need another transfusion. If she does, we stay until Monday when she will be reassessed. But, if she doesn't, then our sojourn here is complete, and we will finally return to our home. Scriptures and cards and Christmas decorations will have to be removed from the doors and walls. I'll busy myself with gathering clothes, toys, stuffed animals, and care packages and packing them into the big duffel bag and extra large suitcase I asked Chris to bring from home last night. This really has been our "home away from home" for the last few weeks, and it'll require a good deal of effort to get us on our way.

Strangely enough, I am a bit nervous about going home. Since I haven't been there in so long, I wonder what it'll be like readjusting to normal life, and I don't know what the rest of Willow Grace's recovery will look like there. What will that require of us? How long will it be before she's regained her strength and can do everything she did before? When will I feel safe taking her back out into public? Will she find it strange to be home? We've been sleeping in the same room, and I wonder if it will take a few nights before we can stay in our own beds. So many questions and no answers until we live it. So much of life is like that.

What happens next? Only God knows, but I'll keep you posted!

My own Christmas miracle....

2010-12-09T22:01:00.020-06:00

That's how I'll remember this December. How else can one explain the rapid recovery my girl has made from this illness? Despite the predictions of the doctors, the way the illness was progressing, and the standard recovery time for HUS, we are going home weeks ahead of schedule. Prayer works. I had asked that everyone pray that we make it home by Christmas, and the doctors are now telling us that not only will we be home for Christmas, we should be going home on Saturday or Sunday! Amazing! Praises fill my heart.

Joyful, joyful, we adore Thee, God of glory, Lord of love;
Hearts unfold like flowers before Thee, opening to the sun above.
Melt the clouds of sin and sadness; drive the dark of doubt away;
Giver of immortal gladness, fill us with the light of day!

How can I help but sing when I look at my little girl's face, no longer constantly strained in pain or ghostly white? Praise the Lord for the great things He has done!

(Our happy Willow Grace tonight after receiving a holiday Barbie from our dear friend, Leslie)

Tomorrow, Willow Grace will have surgery some time in the morning to have the catheter removed from her tummy. Depending on how everything goes, she may or may not need to have a blood transfusion. We're praying that all goes well and no transfusion is needed. After that, we'll watch her blood levels and her nutrition, and those two things will determine when she will be released to go home. Home. That sounds so good and so hopeful to me now.

The last two days have been so joyful. Constant good news and lots of play time with my sweet girl. She's actually been out of bed singing, dancing, and walking around. While she's still be a bit wobbly on her feet, she has still managed to make the most of what energy she does have. We also finally gained clearance today to be taken off of "no contact" when her final culture came back declaring her free of e. coli! Before that came through, however, the physical therapist gained special permission for her to leave the room. The condition was that she had to suited up in a special yellow gown and hospital gloves. We told her that we needed to put her princess gloves on and a special Belle gown, and she was more than happy to comply!

(Willow Grace in the hospital playroom in her "princess" gown and gloves)

I know I've said this dozens of times here and in emails and on Facebook, but thank you so much for all your prayers. We appreciate them more than I can ever express. And I now ask that you continue to pray for us. Pray us home. And pray for Willow Grace during her surgery tomorrow, for the rest of her recovery here and at home, for our transition back to "normal" life after being in the hospital for so long.

Happiness!!!

2010-12-08T11:33:00.006-06:00

No long post just...

GREAT NEWS!!

- Off dialysis today
- Off the TPN/IV tonight
- Waiting for one more negative culture on the e. coli so we can leave the room and go to the hospital playroom
- Having the catheter in her tummy removed Thurs or Fri
- Should be home first of next week - a month ahead of time! Woo-hoo!

Here's a little Christmas greeting from Willow Grace (and me) to you!

Thank you for your prayers! Thank you for all the ways you've taken care of us! We're almost there! Please continue to pray us all the way home!

Faith, Sleep, and Making Lists

2010-12-07T22:01:00.006-06:00

Isaiah 40:31
But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. (KJV)

Isaiah 40:31
But those who wait for the Lord [who expect, look for, and hope in Him] shall change and renew their strength and power; they shall lift their wings and mount up [close to God] as eagles [mount up to the sun]; they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint or become tired. (AMP)

True faith is praying for rain and then carrying an umbrella, living expectantly. We are living expectantly, and yet my heart is still filled with wonder and amazement as I listen to Willow Grace's doctors tell me that she is improving quicker than normal. Now, instead of predicting that we will be here for another four weeks, they are telling us it will be closer to a week or possibly two! I know that prayer works and that it is working in the life of our little girl and in our own hearts. Today she was able to get out of bed for just a bit for a little physical therapy. It's heart-breaking to see the fear in her eyes as she wobbles around painfully on her little legs which she hasn't really used in the last two weeks, and yet she refused to quit trying. Such a determined, brave little girl!

And yet, I confess that, physically, I have, at times, grown weary and tired, and I have lost my patience and felt the weight of this ordeal bearing down on me. And I have looked to sleep as the only solution for curing my intense fatigue. Of course, I do need sleep, and a good night's rest certainly does help to refresh one's perspective, but it is not a lasting solution. Truly, the only thing that has carried me through this is faith. Faith in God. Faith that He will see us through this. Faith that He can take this awful circumstance and bring from it something beautiful.

Tonight, once again, my energy has been nearly depleted. I will lay down my head searching for some peace and sweet sleep, and yet if my girl needs me in the night, as has been the case several times a night every night we've been here, I will somehow call up any energy I may have in reserve and tend to her. Thank God for the blessing of three women in my life, (my sweet Mama, my mother-in-law Donitta, and my dear friend Leslie) who have been staying the nights with me here in the hospital, sitting by Willow Grace's bedside so that I might get some rest. How they have ministered to me and to Willow Grace! I am overwhelmingly grateful for the gift of their presence and how they have tenderly loved and taken care of my little family.

A couple years ago I developed a new habit. I try every night when I go to bed to focus on something positive before I go to sleep. If I can't sleep, I try listing things alphabetically in my head like things having to do with Christmas (Advent, Bethlehem, caroling...), people I love (Donitta, Eva Joy, Frazier...), or the attributes of God (gracious, holy, inspiring...); or I might focus on a scripture or something He's done in my life or the lives' of those I know. Tonight, I'll be focusing on the scripture above and praying that He renews my strength and the strength of all those parents, grandparents, and friends who are watching over children in this hospital tonight.

Challenges and Triumphs

2010-12-06T23:25:00.007-06:00

Psalm 106:1
Praise the LORD. Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever.

Though we still had our share of challenging moments today, our day was also full of positives and little steps ahead. As for the challenges, she's still throwing up about twice a day and is also having some really painful abdominal pain. Of course, it's hard to watch her go through this. All I can do is hold her little hand and speak soothing words and pray her through it. Also, she had to have the dressing on her picc line changed today which is quite painful and scary for her.

And then, just so we could fill our drama quota for today, a man showed up at our door telling us that he needed to take Willow Grace downstairs for an x-ray because the perennial catheter in her stomach was leaking. Well, that was news to me! After what happened a few days ago, we've decided to question just about everything. The man wanted us to help him wheel her down to x-ray with everything, all her little machines, in tow. I protested and explained that she is hooked up to the dialysis machine 24 hours a day, and that machine cannot be moved. He was insistent, and Chris told him to go check again. We called the nurse and asked her to double check as well. It turns out that he had received the wrong orders. The doctor had mistakenly written down Willow Grace's name for the x-ray when it was another little girl who had the leaking catheter! I'm so glad we aren't accepting the word of every person who shows up at our door in a set of scrubs.

And now on to the positives!

First, I finally heard her laugh after not hearing it for two weeks! At 2:30 AM, she was awake and playing with her Nana (my mom) She was blowing through a Santa Claus straw which was making little whistling noises. It was cracking her up! I actually fell back to sleep listening to that sweet little tinkling noise! Also, Willow Grace was hungry today. She woke up asking for Fritos! I'm not even sure why she asked for those as she's only had them a couple times before in her life. It's not really the kind of thing she's allowed to eat just yet in the hospital, so I convinced her instead to try a roll, of which she ate half! Great progress after not eating for two weeks! Another highlight was the two hours she was allowed to be off of the dialysis today. While she still wasn't cleared to leave the room, not having tested negative for the e. coli as of yet, we were still able to get her out of bed and move around with her. And my little princess felt like singing today! Normally, she's so vibrant and loves to sing and dance. We caught a little glimpse of that little drama queen today. Check out the video below of her singing with me while her Gran-Gran (Chris's mom) holds her. (Sorry that my voice is so loud)

I Should Be Asleep But....

2010-12-05T16:44:00.000-06:00

I just had to record my thoughts first.

Early this morning I slipped out of our little hospital room, leaving my sweet friend, Leslie, who had stayed the night with us, and Willow Grace asleep; and I wandered downstairs to grab a bit of breakfast. As soon as I stepped out of the elevator, my ears were met by the swell of a piano and the most soulful voice. At first, being so early I felt that it must be a recording, and yet I could not help but go in search of the source which I soon discovered to be in the little hospital chapel. A young black man sat alone in the chapel playing the baby grand and singing out in earnest praises to the Lord. I slid into a rocking chair in the back of the room and closed my eyes letting the words swirl around in my head and calm my heart. It was just a few moments of listening to someone else singing worship songs, and yet it was as good as any church service I could have attended.

After a few songs, he stopped, and I inquired, "So, is this something you do every Sunday, or are you a patient's dad?" To which he replied, "No, actually, I work here. I try to come before my shift so I can worship the Lord and spend a little time in His presence." He went on to tell me that he works in critical care. He describe how everyone becomes really attached the children in the hospital under their care and how hard that is, especially in critical care. Sometimes those children are here for months, and sometimes after all that time they lose them. "It's really hard when a child passes," he told me. "Sometimes the only thing that gets me through is coming down here and worshipping the Lord." He asked me about my own situation, and I told him about Willow Grace and our time here. After we talked for a while longer, he asked me if he could pray with me. Taking both of my hands in his own, he uttered the most beautiful, complete prayer including not only Willow Grace and her healing but also our whole family and every doctor, nurse, caregiver, and visitor who came in and out of our room. He prayed a special blessing over After the prayer, he hugged me and headed on upstairs to start his shift while I continued my journey to the cafeteria trying not to shed tears (even tears of joy and hope)so early in my day. What a blessed way to start my day!

Oh, how I needed that this morning. Willow Grace continues to improve though there are still so many challenges each day. Apparently she has developed an infection at the site of her picc line. She's been running a fever all weekend, and they did some tests to determine the cause. And so, they decided to give her two different kinds of antibiotics to cure the infection. The first one was fine, but the second one caused red man syndrome. In case you're not familiar with this condition, it's when a drug causes a person's head, neck, and sometimes torso to turn red and start itching terribly. Willow Grace had a terribly reaction. She was thrashing about violently, scratching her head frantically with both hands, and screaming. It was horrendous. The nurses decided to give her some Benedryl by IV which caused another crazy reaction. At first she calmed down, and then suddenly she was screaming, kicking, and thrashing about on the bed. Though Benedryl by IV can cause an adverse reaction in children, the severity of Willow Grace's reaction alarmed the nurse, and she gave Willow Grace some Tylenol and paged the doctor. A few moments after she had the Tylenol, in the middle of a crying out, she fell fast asleep, absolutely exhausted. The doctor came to examine her and determined that she would be fine. And most of the rest of the afternoon and evening, she has slept.

I'm hoping that she cotinues to sleep tonight, letting her little body heal and also allowing me to get some rest. I am one very, very tired mommy.

Riding the Roller Coaster

2010-12-03T16:50:00.000-06:00

As I sit writing this, Willow Grace is deep in a Benadryl induced sleep; White Christmas is playing in the DVD player; and a sweet little Christmas tree my friend, Janet, brought me is twinkling merrily behind me. For me, Christmas runs from the day after Thanksgiving until January 5, and so, even though today is not Christmas Day or even Christmas Eve, we are spending Christmas, at least a part of it, here in the children's hospital. And that, in no way, diminishes my joy in the season. It's neither what I expected it to be nor what I wanted, and I'm not exactly happy to be in this position. But I still have my Christmas joy, my joy in the Lord, and no one and no circumstance can take that away from me.

(Our little tree and a tiny nativity: I thoroughly enjoyed decorating our room today! Thanks so much, Janet!)

I'm sorry that I didn't get around to updating everyone on our day yesterday. It's been eventful and exhausting, and I somehow just couldn't get myself in the "head space" to process, organize, and record my thoughts. It's been a roller coaster. Each day has brought victory: She finally peed yesterday morning and twice since! I've never in my life been so excited too see pee. Even her nurses were out in the hall doing a little dance and saying, "She peed! She peed! She peed!" Everyone is pulling for this little girl, and it's a good sign that she's doing this after less than a week on dialysis. Also, her platelets are up, and her red blood cells are holding steady. However, there have also been hardships: Her tummy has been hurting very badly leaving her writhing on her bed in pain; I can tell you that's really hard on a mommy's heart. Then, last night, we found out that after all the drama we initially had with the feeding tube, they actually put the wrong tube in! They finally removed the wrong tube this morning and are reassessing her situation to see if they need to put the other one in. Talk about an exercise in patience and walking in love! It's only by prayer and God's grace that I have held my tongue and responded peaceably.

We have been overwhelmed also with the outpouring of love for us the last couple days. Mrs. Brewer's third grade class sent little gifts and homemade cards for Willow Grace that warmed our hearts and brought tears to our eyes. Strangers have sent us gifts and food and cards. Friends have brought food and toys and prayed with us around Willow Grace's bed. We've been fed and hugged and encouraged. How can we help but to be filled with hope and faith? God is loving us through His people. Absolutely overwhelming and amazing. Thank you so all so much! Love and blessings to you all!

For those of you who have asked, here are some specifics you can pray for with us:
1. Chris is on weekend dispatch from tonight through Monday morning. Please pray for a LOW volume of calls so that he can get rest and also spend time with us.
2. Please pray that God will take away the pain in Willow Grace's tummy, that He will heal the colitis, rid her of the e. coli, and heal her of the HUS.
3. Chris's grandmother was taken back to the hospital today after finally being released on Monday. She's been in the hospital for most of the last four weeks, and it's been very difficult on the family dealing with two beloved ladies ailing in different hospitals.

"What We Have Here Is... Failure to Communicate"

2010-12-01T22:50:00.000-06:00

Today I was reminded of those famous words above from Cool Hand Luke. (If you haven't seen the movie, you should. So amazing.)

Twice today I had people show up at the door to Willow Grace's room ready to perform different medical procedures of which we had not been informed. Needless to say, this was quite unsettling. First, while Willow Grace was taking a rather satisfying nap, a man opened the door to her room and entered pulling a large machine behind him announcing that he was ready to do a chest x-ray. A chest x-ray? Why? He didn't know; it was just his job to do the x-ray. About thirty minutes later, a nurse stepped inside and said, "OK, we're almost ready to put in her feeding tube. She's not going to like this at all, and she'll probably get pretty upset!" Really? This is how they choose to let me know about these things? I had to step into the bathroom and try to pull myself together after hitting one of those emotional breaking points. I sat down on the edge of the tub and cried and prayed.

I thought, "Here we go again... more opportunities to see if I can walk in love. I put these scriptures up all over the room for a reason." Today, I kept seeing Isaiah 26:3 which is posted on the door going into the bathroom, "You will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You because he trusts in You." Each time I see that scripture, I choose once again to trust, and in return I immediately feel God's peace wash over me.

I couldn't handle staying in the room while they put the feeding tube in. I stepped outside feeling like I had abandoned my little girl in a time of need and had just completely failed as a mother in that moment. And even in that moment of despair, God brought two people into my life to show me how much He cares. First was the mother of two of my former students who is also a nurse. She was about to head into my room to assist with the procedure. She hugged me and lovingly explained everything to me. After she went inside I stepped a couple doors down into the nutrition room to get some ice water, and I met Victor the maintenance man. He told me about doing the same thing with his daughter, "They were about to put a big ol' needle in her back, and I thought, 'Now I gonna be a man about this,' but I just couldn't. I had to go out in the hall and wait. You OK. Your little girl is gonna be OK," he told me. He talked to me a bit more and made me smile and told me he'd be praying for me.

(Willow Grace after they put the feeding tube in)

Later, one of the doctors from the nephrology team came up to apologize about the breakdown in communication. She admitted that someone should have come and explained everything to me just after they made their decisions. She didn't make any excuses for their actions; she just apologized. And I found out that some of the information I was given earlier was faulty. It turns out that Willow Grace needed the chest xray to determine why she was having such a hard time breathing and to see if she had fluid on her lungs, and she needed the tube, which is not be used as a feeding tube, to help release some of the pressure on her tummy during dialysis. Apparently the dialysis is causing her intestines to press up on her lungs which is causing her to breathe really shallow. I told them I understood that all of this was needed to help her, but I would have appreciated a "little heads up" next time.

So, today, has been a difficult day - for those reasons and also because my sweet girl has been in a lot of pain. Any parents who may be reading this understand; I wish I could take that pain away so badly. And so I pray, kneeling next to her bed, as I pace around the room, and sometimes when I retreat to the bathroom to hide my tears from her searching eyes. It's a bit funny to me that the little hospital bathroom has become my "prayer closet," but I think it's as good a place as any.

What's the Story?

2010-12-01T05:31:00.000-06:00

As I sleepily trudged to the nutrition room to make myself a cup of Earl Grey this morning, I caught a peek into a neighbor's room. There was another mother attempting to take in a few moments of rest on the hospital room couch. There was another grandmother sitting up watching over a sleeping baby, just as both my mom and Chris's mom have done for us.

I've caught snippets of conversations in the hallways and elevators and cafeteria. Mothers and fathers, grandmothers and grandfathers, concerned families and friends - all focused on one child and how their whole world has shifted and their perspectives have changed. Some of them have been here for months, have had to return countless times, or even have more than one child here.

There are so many stories. Stories of hope. Stories of loss. Stories of fear. Stories of sadness. Stories of despair. And stories of faith.

I hope, most fervently, that our story will be marked by hope and by faith.

Though yesterday was not quite as good as Monday, we were still blessed with the sound of sweet Willow Grace's voice asking for family members, talking about what she wants to do when we leave, and crying for a Dora the Explorer coloring book. Our loving nurses here made sure that baby had some Dora pages to color. They brought several pages printed off the internet four different times, and then later they brought a whole coloring book with stickers for her. She was able to sit up a couple times and color, but she wants someone else to color with her. Even in her current state, she's quite sociable.

We had a couple scares yesterday. It seems like every day brings new challenges and more to learn. At one point, she woke up in a sort of crazed state. She was frantic and unable to answer any of our questions. She looked wild, and her eyes were shooting all over the place, quicker than I would have thought possible. After several long minutes, possibly ten minutes, our nurse paged the doctors, and I was astounded at how fast they arrived. After a few minutes more, however, we were able to get her calmed down and focused, and she responded well to all questions asked and little actions she was asked to perform. The nephrologist said that Willow Grace was just responding to the morphine and had a bit of delirium because she has been so sick. Other than that, the big events of the day were another blood transfusion and a new dialysis machine after the first one decided it was tired and started sounding an alarm every other minute. There are times when the dialysis is very painful for her, and we just try to soothe her and distract her as much as possible until it passes.

Today Chris returns to work. Please pray for him as I know it's going to be hard to be away from her all day after all that we've been through and watching over her constantly for the last seven days. We are so blessed to be in a position where I don't have to make that decision between staying here with her and losing my job or going to work and leaving her alone all day. It breaks my heart that there are so many children here who spend all day alone because their parents can't afford to be here. I can't imagine leaving my sweet girl all alone in this room all day. I've said it for years, and I continue to say it now, "I love my job. I love the people I work with, around, and for. I am so blessed to be at CPA." My sweet friend, Megan, from work, brought me some requested supplies, and yesterday morning I was able to make a bunch of colorful scripture signs to post all over the room. I have the Word of God all around me, constant encouragement straight from my Heavenly Father.

For those of you who have asked, a couple of my coworkers/amazing friends arranged a website for people who want to bring food. Here's the link if you want to see what nights are available: http://www.takethemameal.com/meals.php?t=YBXL2103 Thank you so much for all the ways you've supported our little family, for the prayers, calls, texts, visits, food, care packages, and love. I will never be able to adequately express what this has meant to me and how deeply you have touched my heart, but I hope you know how deeply grateful I am. I hope your day is blessed with laughter, joy, and peace.

New Mercies

2010-11-30T03:01:00.000-06:00

Morning comes a lot earlier for me these days since Chris and I are shift sleeping, and my shift ends by 2 AM. As I sat here in the dark listening to the two people who are most precious to me sleep, I started to softly sing, "The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning, new every morning. Great is Thy faithfulness, oh, Lord, great is Thy faithfulness." Do I really believe this? Absolutely. Every morning, I awake and feel as if the Lord has refilled my cup, and I find that I have more faith, hope, joy, and love than I did the day before. Not only is His faithfulness great, but He enables me to be more faithful not only to Him but to all those around me.

My God certainly gave us new mercies and proved Himself to be faithful yesterday as, after days of watching my sweet Willow Grace laying in bed limp as a rag doll, she woke ready to make up for lost time and began to talk nonstop! The first thing she did was tell us that her Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer was in the car and we needed to go get it! We were scrambling for socks and shoes and keys, and Chris made the joyful and rash promise that not only could she have Rudolph but anything else in the world she wanted! It's a good thing that really is all she wanted. Whew!

I can't tell you what a joy it was to hear that sweet, yet hoarse, voice squeaking my name and asking questions and showing more of that spunky character we have come to love. She entertained the nurses and doctors and any other visitors who came in the room, and it was absolutely joy-inducing to witness the smiles and hear all the laughter caused by my delightful little girl. So far, she hasn't laughed or even smiled herself, but maybe today or tomorrow we'll get to experience that much anticipated event.

She is still quite pale, weak, and can't eat anything. I can't believe that she hasn't eaten in more than a week now! The dialysis machine perks along, and the plan is still to have her on it indefinitely. She's covered in wires and tubes. She has a little wire on her finger which takes her blood oxygen level and heart rate and has a red light that causes her finger to glow. She tells everyone that she has a Rudolph on her finger. (:

(She loves books. In the picture, you can see Rudolph over her left shoulder, her Rudolph book tucked just behind her, and her little lighted finger. She knows all the words to the song!)

Here are a few things that you can pray for:
1. Her blood oxygen level keeps dropping, and when it drops too much they have to put the tubes back in her nose which, of course, she hates.
2. Pray that her little kidneys will start functioning well on their own.
3. Pray that she will be able to eat something soon and keep it down.
4. She needs an extra measure of patience. As you can imagine, she doesn't want to be in this bed any more. Of course, after she sits up for about a minute, she has to lay back down exhausted.
5. When the dialysis starts each new cycle it really hurts her. They've given her morphine a couple times to help her manage, but I really don't want her to have much of that, and it also makes her really itchy. Pray that God will take away the pain.

Thank you so much for thinking of us here in this little room and for praying for us. It means so much to know that people outside what has become our world care about what's happening here and are lifting us up in prayer. We love you and appreciate you more than you know.

Lamentations 3:21-26 (ESV)
"But this I call to mind,and therefore I have hope: The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases;his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.'The LORD is my portion,' says my soul, 'therefore I will hope in him." The LORD is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him. It is good one should wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD.'"

Walking in Love

2010-11-28T20:41:00.000-06:00

For me, walking in love means so many things right now.
1. Obviously, I'm busy with loving my sweet family -- Willow Grace as she recovers in this hospital bed, and my husband Chris as we walk this road together.
2. I've had to choose to walk in love and forgive the doctor who almost sent us home from the ER on Wednesday, a decision that would have had harsh consequences.
3. I'm overwhelmed at the love others are showing me through this whole process. I am truly walking around bathed in the love being poured into my life through prayers, gifts, visits, and words of encouragement.
4. And, as I journey through this trial, I feel the love of my Heavenly Father washing over me every step of the way.

From about 1:30 this morning until our first guests arrived, I sat in the sturdy Cracker Barrel rocking chair beside Willow Grace's hospital bed praying and watching her looking dazed and confused. As a steady stream of visitors (21 in all) wandered in and out of our little room, she was either staring off into space or sleeping. I hoped all day for more response from her, and yet she remained mostly quiet and still. This is totally normal after all that she's been through, but my mother's heart could not help but hope to hear my little girl's voice sweetly chirping my name or to see even the hint of a smile.

The good news: The nephrologist (kidney specialist) who is taking care of Willow Grace said that she is doing better than expected and that the dialysis is progressing a bit faster than expected. She is now in her 28th hour on the dialysis machine, and there have been no complications. At this point, she will be on the machine indefinitely. Though she had to have a transfusion when her red blood count dropped to 20 last night, she did well with the transfusion. She was finally able to get more nourishment tonight when they switched her to a TPN, a bag of nutrients given through her picc line which includes electrolytes, protein, carbohydrates, and sugar.

Other tidbits: For those of you who have asked, you cannot treat HUS with antibiotics. It actually feeds the bacteria and causes it to grow. As to how long we'll be here, the doctor told us that it would be another 2-6 weeks. The last two patients who were recently treated with this here were released after 4 and 6 weeks. I am praying that we will be home by Christmas! Willow Grace is not allowed to be around children under the age of 5 for at least two more weeks because HUS is very contagious for children but does not affect adults.

Since she hasn't been sleeping much at night, Chris and I have been sleeping in shifts, reluctant to leave her awake in the middle of the night alone. I get the first shift. Below is the scripture I am meditating on tonight as I lay my head down to rest. I hope that it encourages you as much as it does me.

Psalm 37:3-7a (New King James Version)
3 Trust in the LORD, and do good; dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness. 4 Delight yourself also in the LORD, and He shall give you the desires of your heart.5 Commit your way to the LORD, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass. 6 He shall bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your justice as the noonday. 7 Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for Him....

Day of Dialysis

2010-11-28T02:05:00.000-06:00

It's just after 2:30 AM, and I am sitting here watching all the little machines working on/monitoring Willow Grace as she watches episodes of My Friends Tigger and Pooh on DVD. (Why oh why did they decide to take that show off of Playhouse Disney!?!) So far she's seemed a bit dazed and has responded very little. And I wonder what is going through that sweet little mind. I know she doesn't understand what has happened/is happening to her, and she's just trying to focus on something familiar like her beloved Tigger. She has had neither anything to eat nor a bath since Tuesday, and I know that adds to her level of comfort.

Saturday morning, we started out thinking that we'd be going through another day of observation, and I hoped to get a nap in somewhere since I'd only taken in about three hours of sleep Friday night. However, it wasn't long before we were informed that Willow Grace had not progressed like we had hoped and dialysis was needed. The surgical team and the picc line team was called, and around 2 PM we all headed down for surgery. They put in a picc line and pernineal catheter, and the surgery went very well. Not long after we were back in our room, and they were preparing the dialysis machine. For now, the treatment is continuous. That little dialysis machine is putting in a lot of work!

While standing there watching her little groggy face, the fact that I had not eaten all day and the tension I'd been feeling finally caught up to me, and I felt the world begin to spin just a bit. My lovely Moma, my mother-in-law, Donitta, my sweet Aunt Ruby, and my dear friend, CB, were all on hand to make sure I rested and that Chris and I finally got some food in us. The blessings of strong, Godly women are immeasurable.

For now, we're just talking all of this a day, an hour, a moment at a time. The docs have said that we'll be here at least another 10-14 days. Interestingly enough, the nurse on duty tonight has a daughter who had HUS when she was about Willow Grace's age. They where in the hospital for six weeks. That was about 20 years ago, and we are praying for a speedy recovery and a much shorter stay!

Our God is faithful and true. I feel peace knowing that He is holding her in His mighty hands which are so much for capable than mine or any doctor's. While it's amazing to me, I can rest in the truth that He loves her so much more than even I do. Healing is hers and ours, and I'm thanking God for the mighty work that He has begun in her and is carrying on to completion. I will ever praise Him!

An Elephant Named Ralph, Willow Grace, and God

2010-11-27T06:24:00.000-06:00

Willow Grace w/her favorite buddy Ralph the elephant (11/25/10)Before we left for the ER on Wedneday, she made sure that she had him with her!

Last night I laid here on this little couch in Willow Grace's hospital room watching her stare at the ceiling and occasionally at Mickey Mouse on TV. She slept very little which means that I slept very little. I think we must be near where the Life Flight helicopters take off and land. I stopped counting after I heard the fifth one, and I prayed for each of those pilots and patients and their families, and I am so grateful that though we are battling through this we are not dealing with some of harsher realities that other families are facing. And what's more and makes all the difference is that we have divine hope based on our faith in God. In my quiet moments, I've been praying not only for my little family but for all those who have found themselves in this place this week.

In case you haven't heard, Willow Grace was originally diagnosed with colitus and dehydration and then with e. coli poisoning and Hemolytic Uremic Syndrome (HUS)which attacks the red blood cells and kidneys. As of yesteray morning, her kidneys were functioning at about 25%. Antibiotics don't work on this. She is getting fluids by IV and lasiks. They are watching her very closely and have discussed with us the possibility of dialysis, and they told us that at the least we'd be here another week. Right now they are really concerned about her potassium levels and her platelets.

As unreal as all this still seems at times to me, I feel overwhelming peace and comfort. I know that this is due to the hundreds of prayers that have been lifted up on our behalf, and I am tremendously grateful for everyone who is praying for us. We need it and feel it. Please keep praying and thanking God for Willow Grace's healing. Also, I've been constantly choosing to put my faith in Christ. I've been reading the Bible, praying, and singing praise songs every chance I get.

Here are the two scripturs which are keeping me encouraged and which I posted on the large dry erase board in Willow Grace's room:

1 Peter 5:7 (New King James Version)
casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.

2 Timothy 1:7 (New King James Version)
7 For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.

Thanksgiving in the Children's Hospital

2010-11-25T07:28:00.000-06:00

First let me start by saying, this is not how I envisioned my Thanksgiving this year. I pictured Willow Grace running around and laughing hysterically at her cousins. I plans on cooking a half a dozen dishes for two different Thanksgivings, one with the Reeds and one with the Bratchers. I thought about Mom's amazing sweet potato casserole and dressing. And yet, none of those things will be a part of this day. Instead, I'm sitting her watching my little sleeping princess, looking so tiny and fragile in this big hospital bed.

Last week she started to feel a little bad, and then on Saturday she woke up with a fever, just a little one at 100.2. But by Saturday night her fever peaked at 104.3, still not alarming, as she has had high fevers like that several times before. What did cause alarm was when she started passing blood in her stool. By yesterday morning, she was passing only blood and was as limp as a rag doll, and so to the ER we went. The last 24 hours has been a journey, and it looks like we still have some ground to cover before we finally get to take our little sweetie home.

But I have so much to be thankful for:
-my friend, Leslie, who dropped everything to come with me to the hospital yesterday
-the great care she's receiving here
-a comfortable room for us all to be in, even if it is in the hospital
-our family and friends who have been so supportive
-all the prayers that have been spoken for Willow Grace and for us
-the fact that her condition is not more serious than it is
-all three of us were able to rest last night
-that I know God is holding us in His mighty hands

I could go on and on. Hopefully I'll be back here in a couple days though with a whole new list of things for which I am thankful. Thank you for your prayers.

Because I'm the Mama....

2010-11-22T14:14:00.000-06:00

Willow Grace has been battling some little illness for the last three days, high fever which peaked at 104.3 and no appetite. I decided to keep her home today, and, of course, I can't just sit around and watch her lying there soaking up Disney and Nick Jr. shows. I've been cleaning... everything - mopping, vacuuming, washing and folding laundry, scouring the bathrooms, and basically wiping down every surface that would stand still. That's what mamas do. And maybe with a newly disinfected house we can finally banish this little annoying bug.

Today Willow Grace decided not to call me Mama, at least not mainly. I've either been Sweetie or Ariel. She decided that she wanted me to call her Cinderella and also decided to give some of the other women in our family princess names. I'll list them in case those ladies tune in here today:
Gran-Gran (my mother-in-law): Snow White
Nana (my mom): Jasmine
Eva Joy (my sister): Sleeping Beauty (I think this one fits great!)
Kara (my sister-in-law): Tiana
Meredith (my sister-in-law): Belle
She wanted to give her daddy a princess name as well, but I told her we could call him Prince Charming and, thankfully, she agreed!

I better go, my little Cinderella is calling.

I couldn't find a pic of her in her Cinderella dress, but here's our little drama queen as Belle just a month ago.

Once a teacher....

2010-11-09T08:35:00.000-06:00

I am an English teacher, and that will always be part of me. It’s just not what I’m currently doing and haven’t since I had Willow Grace a little over 3 years ago. But I will always teach in some form, even if it’s an unconventional form. The last two years I worked for admissions, and I’m thrilled that this year finds me back in the classroom every day.

Current Job: Full time substitute teacher, middle and high school in a private Christian school
Job Satisfaction: Oh yeah!

This morning I sat in a sixth grade classroom listening to a girl praying for her classmates and their families. Through the wall, I could hear a third grade class next door singing “This is the Day” in their sweet little voices. Nearly every morning I sing that song myself, choosing to recognize that each day is a gift from God and also choosing to live my life in gratitude.

I love working in a Christian school. I love that at any moment you may walk into a classroom, office, or even hallway and find people praying. I love that our football teach sings “A Mighty Fortress is Our God” in the locker room before heading onto the field. And I am saddened that no everyone has that freedom, even in our country. Not trying to be political, just expressing my feelings… I’m not going to focus on the negative today. I really just want to express my gratitude for where God has assigned me. It has not always been easy. In fact, there have been moments, days, and even weeks when I thought about giving up and moving on. I’ve faced some of the hardest trials of my life here. But the Lord has kept me here, and I’m content to be here for as long as He wants.

At last?

2010-11-05T14:08:00.000-05:00

I haven't written for this blog in so long, nor have I written much of anything. I yearn to write. I need to write. I have so many stories orbiting my brain which deserve telling, so many characters into whom I could breathe life. And yet time is my enemy or perhaps it is lack of time. When I get the chance to sit for a moment, all my inspiration is taken over by mental to-do lists and exhaustion. But I am yet determined to write, to find my time to write, and to finally fulfill what I have long set out to do and even what some many close to me expect.

On a different but related topic, I have been toying with the idea of writing scripts specifically for middle school students. I recently wrote and directed play with 7th graders, and I've been called upon to do the same thing for 8th graders. When I directed middle school plays some years ago, I would read dozens of scripts before finding one that was decent and worthy of being staged. And truthfully, many of the stories that play out in my head seems well suited, maybe even better suited, for scripts. Anyway, it's a thought....

And so now, I've eased my way back into blog writing. Maybe this will open up new doors for all the other writing in my life - poetry, scripts, novels, etc. I hope.

My Simone of Cyrene

2010-05-26T11:44:00.000-05:00

Luke 9:23

“Then He said to them all, “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow Me.” (NKJV)

Matthew 27:32

“Now as they came out, they found a man of Cyrene, Simon by name. Him they compelled to bear His cross.”

Our lives are not without burdens, troubles, and difficulties; in fact, we have been called to take up our cross and follow Christ. But we were never meant to carry it alone. Most importantly, we have been told in I Peter 5:7, “Casting the whole of your care [all your anxieties, all your worries, all your concerns, once and for all] on Him, for He cares for you affectionately and cares about you watchfully.” (AMP) Also, God has put us in communities – families, friendships, churches, small groups, etc. God puts people in our lives to help us on our journey and even with carrying our crosses, just as Simon of Cyrene carried Jesus’ cross for Him. Though I’m not sure if he realized the impact of this service at the time, what a privilege is was for him to assist the Lord in such a tangible manner! And what a privilege is it for us to serve one another. I hope that someone considers me a “Simon” in his/her life.

Do you have a Simon in your life?

One of my Simons is my dad – constantly taking time out of his day to edify me with scriptures and Godly counsel, passing on strength to me through prayer and encouragement, and making me laugh through hard circumstances. Because of his support, I’ve grown stronger, and I’m better than I ever could have been.

Willow Grace Wednesday

2009-12-09T06:11:00.000-06:00

Just popping in quickly to for a cute shot of Willow Grace @ Chuck E. Cheese

Dancing Raindrops

2009-11-17T08:59:00.000-06:00

The roar of the old Rover thundering down the highway mixed strangely and yet somehow comfortingly with Norah Jones playing on my husband's IPOD. Our sweet girl in the backseat blissfully unaware of all around her slept undisturbed by the noise. So, I pulled my own blanket a little tighter to my chest and settled more comfortably into my seat. Peering towards my husband behind the wheel, I noticed just beyond him the dance of the raindrops on the window, two drops in particular frantically jitterbugging around each other, momentarily joining together and then bursting apart once again. On and on they went circling one another, confidently striking out on their own or even being forced apart by the relentless wind but every few seconds inexplicably finding their way back to each other again. Amused and in awe, I watched mesmerized wondering how long they could sustain their dance, but at once the action slowed as the two drops melted into one another and swirled gently around. Thinking the show was over I contemplated looking away, yet the drops suddenly separated into not just two but five, with three being considerably smaller. A family. The five danced together swirling around one another just as the two had done, venturing away from one another but always finding their way back.

Just a few silly little raindrops — and yet my heart was pierced with beauty, sadness, joy, and hope. How can that be? How could something so seemingly insignificant touch me so deeply? Each day, each moment is filled with the possibility for these sorts of connections. A solitary leaf clinging stubbornly to an otherwise naked tree, the early morning discovery of a world covered in hitherto unmarred blankets of snow, happening upon a rainbow in the midst of a dreary day – all these call upon something deeper within us, something worthy of awe and reverence and, at least, our attention. What is it that we’re supposed to glean from all of this? It’s different… and the same… for all of us, and it’s all a part of our journey.

Willow Grace Wednesday

2009-11-11T21:34:00.000-06:00

Put this collage on Facebook the other day and thought I'd add it here. It's been a while since I did a Willow Grace Wednesday. I really need to get back to writing more for my blog. That will hopefully happen soon.

Anyway, here's my little Autumn Princess.

Vanity

2009-11-04T07:56:00.000-06:00

Yesterday I was listening to a group of women discussing a recent episode of Oprah on which several women had received makeovers. Personally, I love makeover shows. It’s like watching Cinderella getting dolled up for the ball so that her outside finally matches the beauty within. However, that’s not where my head went while I was listening to the conversation.

I found myself examining my own outfit and feeling as if I had fallen so far short of the mark. Though I was wearing a relatively new pretty dress, it wasn’t quite new enough. I try very hard to get lots of wear out of my clothes and add t-shirts under or cardigans over my summer dresses, which is what I had done yesterday. Cute but not exactly the height of fall fashion. I actually hurried away from the women, anxious to get my unfashionable self back to my desk. My mind started running through all of the clothes in my closet, and suddenly none of it was good enough. How could I have missed how important fashion is? How could I have fallen so short of what a woman really should be?

And then…. Wait!

That’s when I remembered just how, in the greater picture of life, fashion really is low on the list of things that really are important. Where is my heart? Am I following after Christ? Am I loving and serving my family well? Do I try to help others in need? Am I living out the fruit of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control) to the best of my ability?

I used to have Colossians 3:12-14 taped to the shelf in my closet, and tomorrow I plan to have it up there again. The most important thing we can clothe ourselves with is love. The rest is certainly has its purposes and really can be fun and help us to feel better about ourselves; but I really do need to keep it all in the right perspective.

Colossians 3:12-14
12 Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13 Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14 And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

Faithfulness

2009-09-26T04:32:00.000-05:00

I've been struggling with sleep all night. A bad headache and disturbing dreams have kept me awake. So, about an hour ago, I thought I'd come and catch up on some friends' blogs and perhaps get a little time in on Facebook. Mostly, I've been reading about all my friends' adoption struggles, shedding a few tears for them, praying for their strength and provision, and remembering how faithful our God is.

Truly, in this early hour (about 4:35 AM), I am overwhelmed with His faithfulness and His love. If He says that He will do it, you can count on it. Every day I choose to trust Him, and I purpose to rest in Him. It's not always easy (In fact, it's rarely easy.) when I look at my own struggles and the world around me. But I will not give up. And it does get so much easier when I choose to focus on Him and not the storm around me -- a lesson I keep learning over and over and over again from Peter on the water as he walked towards Jesus.

Tonight (this morning), I am praying for the Kecks, the Mayernicks, the Doyles, the Francises, and so many others. I've added a new gadget to the side of my blog, "Stories of Faith." Most of those deal with families who are currently adopting or have adopted. Beautiful and heart wrenching and vibrant examples of God's love for us. It certainly makes me want to do more, to find a way to do more. For now, I am supporting these families with my prayer and any other support I can lend.

Waffle Cones and Hijacked Shopping Carts

2009-09-09T20:20:00.001-05:00

Yes, it's Willow Grace Wednesday, but I didn't feel like using that title once again.

And, guess what??? No pictures this week! Just a story.

Willow Grace and I ventured to the local TCBY to meet some friends, Ralanna and her two year old Addy, and to indulge in $.99 Waffle Cone Wednesday. Gotta love that! Of course, I spent the entire time feeding my beloved daughter her chocolate frozen yogurt, so I didn't get to indulge, even those ice cream/frozen yogurt is my favorite treat. Ah, well. Just part of being a mom. Anyway, after we finished feeding a sweet girls their sweet treat, we discovered that hanging out at the yogurt shop with sugared-up toddlers while we finised our chat just wasn't going to work.

On to the Kroger (grocery store) next door!

I love the fact that they have shopping carts with little cars attached to the front, and so does Willow Grace! At first we tried loading both girls into the same car but quickly found out that, even as young as they are, they needed their own personal space. Of course, you know that two women trying to have a decent conversation while pushing two different carts in the grocery store doesn't work very well. Nevertheless, we tried... and then moved on to another plan. Willow Grace and Addy were greatly enjoying "driving" their little cars around, so we decided that they didn't need to give that up. Where can you find enough room to push two large shopping carts with toy cars attached side by side? The parking lot, of course!

Ralanna and I raced, yes, we raced, to the front door (She won!), and we headed out to the parking lot. We choose the less travelled side lot for our rounds and made several laps with our precious cargo and successfully enjoyed some much needed girl talk. Babies happy, mommies happy -- it was all good!

Of course there was the slight chance that some disgruntled employee would come bolting out of the store to reprimand us and tell us to bring back our hijakced carts, but that only made our mini adventure all the more exciting. Really, I was kind of hoping that it would happen! When we did return our borrowed carts to the store, we were met by a very amused and yet silent employee. All in all, a very fun outing for us all.

Willow Grace Wednesday

2009-09-02T19:24:00.000-05:00

Since I haven't done a Willow Grace Wednesday in a while, I have a couple hundred pictures to choose from. Such a difficult job. So I thought I'd focus on a couple with Chris and a couple with me.

The two below were taken at the aquarium in Chattanooga. Such an amazing day for the three of us. Willow Grace LOVED the fish and made sure everyone around us knew it!

Here Willow Grace and I are hanging out in the backyard at my parents' house. I love that she's looking at me in this pic. So sweet! And what a cool couple of girls in their shades, right?

I'll post more pictures soon. Maybe I'll do a separate post with pics from her 2nd birthday. Ah, we'll see.

Happy Wednesday everyone!

I'm A Dreamer

2009-08-29T07:21:00.000-05:00

I've always been a dreamer. My dreams at night are vivid and realistic, so much so that sometimes I have a hard time determining whether of not they really happened. I would also say that I can be excessive in my day dreaming. It's almost as if I constantly have little movies playing out in my head starring all my favorite people.

I guess that are some people who would harshly criticize me for all this, and yet, strangely enough, I find that it actually feeds my faith. I truly believe in the possibility of these grand imaginations. Anything is possible in life, and with God there really is no limit. Now, I'm not going to argue the ridiculous here. I'm sure there are those who would come up with all sorts of bizarre situations in order to try to test and try the impossible. (Well, can you fly into outerspace with no ship and breathe on your own? Do you think you could really find a fountain of youth and stay young forever?) Those are not the sorts of things I'm talking about.

But it seems to me that we're living in a time when lots of people are either settling for survival mode or are giving up altogether. Yeah, I know it's tough out there. It's tough all over. We all have areas in our life that could destroy us if we let them. For me, I choose to have faith, to press on, and to dream.

What do I dream of? Well, we'll save that for another post....

Willow Grace Wednesday

2009-07-08T07:00:00.000-05:00

(Two little princesses! Willow Grace and her 2nd cousin Madison playing dress up at my parents' house. Don't they look sweet?)

(She's hanging out with her daddy on the hearth at his parents house, already in her pj's because we knew she'd be asleep by the time we arrived home. And of course she was!)

(In the car with Leroy the zebra whom we picked up at the zoo last Friday and her Curious George. The girl seriously loves stuffed animals.)

(In her room watching her current favorite movie, The Adventures of Winnie the Pooh. She loves hanging out on this love bug. She's constantly dragging books off her shelf and sitting there to read them. I know the cups look weird, but for some reason she wanted to hold them. )

The Nashville Zoo

2009-07-07T22:07:00.000-05:00

Chris and I went to the zoo a year ago with Willow Grace, and she loved it then. Her favorite thing at 11 months old was the elephants which she kept calling "dog" or "Bella" like our massive Great Pyranees/Lab. On that visit, we bought her a little stuffed elephant whom we call Ralph, and she has loved Ralph well this last year.

I was anxious to see how she would react at 23 months, and she did not disappoint. Even as we approached the gates, she was trembling with joy and saying, "I go see the animals!"

This time she walked for most of the time there and absolutely loved seeing all the animals. This year's favorite? The zebra. She had been talking about zebras for days, so I knew she would be giddy about seeing them. She giggled and pointed and tried talking to them. And, of course, to commemorate our trip, we bought her a little stuffed zebra whom we've named Leroy. She loves Leroy!

I didn't take any cool pics of the animals this year, just a few of us and Willow Grace. We have a little video we shot which I hope to post soon.

Willow Grace Wednesday

2009-07-01T07:00:00.000-05:00

I have a wealth of pictures to share this week. I guess I've made up for all that time I forgot to snap a shot or two. I can't believe that we have less than a month before she turns two! Oh, I guess I better get busy on my party planning!

(Her favorite On Demand episode of My Friends Tigger and Pooh was about to expire. In it Pooh dresses as a queen bee and looks for honey. So, Willow Grace got to be queen bee too!)

(I suppose she's judging her wings to see if she really can fly.)

(Wearing Daddy's hat and having a little conversation with Pluto. She loves wearing her daddy's hat.)

(Tickle fest with Daddy!)

(Such a Daddy's girl!)

(So excited to be wearing Papa's Nikes!)

(Willow Grace and her sweet Papa!)

I hope you're having a great Wednesday!

Metamorphosis

2009-06-30T12:55:00.000-05:00

"See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland." Isaiah 43:19 (NIV)

(I took the picture above in the flower garden where I work.)

Mercy Triumphs Over Judgement

2009-06-25T10:05:00.000-05:00

The title was taken from James 2:13b (NIV).

(Let me pause to say that I know I've been guilty of the very things I'm about to rail against. This is just as much about learning to better myself as it is an observation of the world I see.)

I've been frustrated lately with the lack of mercy, understanding, and patience in dealing with our fellow man. It's astounding how often as of late that I've heard people complaining about "stupid people." I'm tired of hearing others say that they are annoyed by stupid people. It's an arrogant and insensitive thing to say. Being a teacher (though one without a current classroom) who worked to keep that particular S word from being used in my room and a person who formally struggled with a learning disability, it truly bothers me to hear others make derisive comments about individuals they've deemed to be stupid.

People make mistakes and forget things and are often uninformed and maybe really do have problems understanding certain concepts. And, yes, sometimes they just don't think before they speak or act. Who isn't guilty of that one?

We should be helping others, giving them a hand up not pushing them further down or even sinking to a lower level ourselves by displaying ugly, judgmental, and harsh attitudes.

And, here's the real rub for me: Yes, I've been guilty of being impatient with my struggling fellow man, but I've also been guilty of unmerciful thoughts those who judge others as stupid.

So, today (and each day forward) I will pray that mercy, patience, and understanding will flourish in me.

Willow Grace Wednesday

2009-06-24T07:00:00.000-05:00

Just a couple pics this week. But the big news is that I think we've officially broken her from her bottle. It's been four nights straight of going to bed without it! Woo-hoo! (OK, so it's happy but also a little sad b/c it really does mean that she's growing up.)

(Nap time a few days ago - She likes to go down for her nap with a book. She usually looks at it, maybe even quoting it, and then snuggles in to sleep. I can't tell you how thrilled I am that this little girl is crazy about books! See her little bunny she decided to use as a pillow? So sweet!)

( This was taken at the Ashland City Wal*Mart. I think that smile says it all.)

life and trials

2009-06-15T09:04:00.000-05:00

What if all of it really is about more than I ever thought it could be?

Today, I'll ponder those possibilities.

A perfect summer day?

2009-06-10T10:26:00.000-05:00

Yep, I think that's pretty much what yesterday added up to.

Sleeping in just a little, painting Willow Grace's toe nails dark pink while she ate breakfast, Mom coming to spend the day with me and Willow Grace, free kids movie at the Regal theater, watching Willow Grace play with another little girl in the lobby of the theater, lunch at O'Charley's with a celebrity siting of Kenny Chesney, shopping, afternoon swimming, and then when Chris came home from work watching Willow Grace fall asleep in his arms while trying to eat a Bugle, enjoying the classic summer meal of grilled burgers and chips for dinner, waking Willow Grace to feed her dinner and then watch her play in her bath tub before bathing her and rocking her to sleep. Full day. Great day.

I love summer!

And today, it's back to work, but I'll have the next six days off, so I'm good!

Willow Grace Wednesday

2009-06-10T05:45:00.000-05:00

Here's a few pics from the last week or so. When I arrived to pick WG up at Mom's last Thursday, Willow Grace wanted to show me her "birthday hat." I don't know why she keeps putting things like this on her head and calling them birthday hats, but it sure is cute.

Mom and Willow Grace came to have lunch with me at work and to hang out for a while. Willow Grace was thrilled to find a bench that was just her size.

Willow Grace Wednesday

2009-06-03T19:54:00.000-05:00

Just a couple quick shots today of Willow Grace hanging out with me at my desk at work. I like the second one better, but you can see her sweet eyes better in the first. Can you tell how much we like being together?

Summer's Off to a GREAT Start!

2009-06-01T09:39:00.001-05:00

1. Great work out
2. Spent a couple hours this morning playing outside with Willow Grace who LOVES her playhouse and new water table
3. Had a good devotional/quiet time

And it's not even 10 AM yet!

I do need to do laundry and some other chores and recharge my camera battery (accidentally let it die), but I'm sure I can manage quite a bit more fun around those necessities.

Let's see what else the day brings!

Willow Grace Wednesday

2009-05-27T08:01:00.001-05:00

I can't believe that today my little girl is 22 months old! It's just another couple of months before her 2nd birthday! I feel like I was just in the hospital welcoming her to the world! She talks nonstop, can say her ABC's, count to 16, and name every character on Playhouse Disney. I have so much fun with her; she's my fun!

She loves this little fish riding toy at her Gran Gran and Pop's house. I've never seen anything like this toy. I only wish I also had a picture of her Uncle Johnny trying to ride it too!

("Give fishy a kissy!")

("Whoa!")

Donitta bought Willow Grace an early birthday present which she immediately took to. She must have exclaimed a hundred times (no exaggeration), "I love my house!" Right now it's at her Gran Gran and Pop's house, but this weekend it comes to our house. Between this and our new water table, we're in for a fun summer!

("Well, hello!")

("Hey, everybody!")

She loves the fact that the house has a sink and always pretends to wash her hands when she goes inside.

("Wash ya hands.")

I have never known another child to like water so much. Here she is chugging from my 32 oz. jug. Such a thirsty girl!

Have a great Wednesday!

Birthday

2009-05-22T11:42:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow is my birthday. Not sure how I feel about that. I'm usually really excited about birthdays. I think it's really important to celebrate people on the day they were born and to make them feel really special. However, as of late, I've felt that I wouldn't mind if this one just slid on by. It has nothing to do with age; I feel pretty young. Just not so excited.... I guess we'll just have to see how tomorrow goes.

Willow Grace Wednesday

2009-05-20T07:00:00.000-05:00

Here's a few pics from the last week.

(High tech baby!)

(What a cool chick!)

(This phone suits her a little better than the first pic.)

(She loves the slide!)

("Wanna wear Daddy's boots!")

("Say 'cheese!'")

Women's Appreciation High Tea

2009-05-18T20:58:00.000-05:00

I always mean for this event to be a yearly occasion, but inevitably something hinders my plans. The last time I was able to do it was in 2005. Usually I plan it as a dinner, but this year I thought that high tea would be fun. I invited eight women who have been influential and supportive in my life.

I prepared a light meal of cucumber sandwiches, tomato sandwiches, cheese & crackers, mini quiches, fruit salad, and rose shaped spice cupcakes with a light glaze and chocolate covered strawberries for dessert. To my delight everything turned out great, and I enjoyed a lovely afternoon with my dear friends.

After we ate, I presented them with letters that I had written to each one of them highlighting how they've blessed me and others and also showcasing just a bit of each lady's inner beauty. Each lady's letter was read aloud to her by the woman on her right. Yes, there were tears, and it was a very special time. Afterwards, I gave each woman a copy of Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge.

( These are the lovely flowers my husband picked up for me for our event.)

(Some of the hand dipped chocolate covered strawberries we had for dessert. I wish I had thought to get a picture of the table before we all sat down to eat. It really was quite lovely.)

(from left: Christina:former roomate/friend, Donitta:mother-in-law, Aunt Ruby, and Eva Joy:sister)

(from left: Mom, Leslie: coworker/friend, CB: coworker/friend, Charlene: former student/coworker/friend)

(CB took this one so I could be in one of the shots. I wish we could have gotten one with all of us together.We all wore silly hats which just added to the fun!)

I really hope that I'll be able to make this a yearly event from now on.

Willow Grace Wednesday

2009-05-13T07:00:00.000-05:00

Since I haven't posted in so long, I thought I'd put a few pics of Willow Grace from Easter up.

She had her first Easter egg hunt. At first, she was really confused and cried when we showed her how to put the eggs in the basket. She thought we were just taking them away from her, but she soon caught on and had fun with it. The first four pics are from Easter, and the last two are just hanging out at Gran Gran and Pop's house.

(hunting eggs with her daddy)

(striking out on her own)

(looking at her Easter card from Papa & Nana)

(I think she likes it!)

("Want the pretty flower, Mommy?")

(She LOVES swinging!)

Good Morning!

2009-05-12T05:20:00.005-05:00

Extreme Close Up!

I'm determined to have a good day today even though I've had very little sleep the last couple days. I've been up since 2:30 this morning with Willow Grace who is now finally back in bed. Too bad she has to get up again in less than an hour. Oh well. I hope your day goes well.

Happy Tuesday!

Layout

2009-05-07T15:19:00.000-05:00

I'm playing with some different ideas for my background. So it'll probably change quite a bit over the next couple days. We'll just have to see if I can come up with anything I'm actually satisfied with. Hasn't happened yet. Oh, well.

Resurfacing

2009-05-06T13:31:00.000-05:00

Well, it looks like I did more than just consider having a bloggy break. I took one. A rather extended one. It’s hard for me to believe that I haven’t written in three months! The best explanation I can give you is that there were other things taking up quite a bit of my thought time. Of course, there’s a great deal more to it than that, but I must leave it at that.

So, anyway, I’m back. I’ve “girlified” the look of my blog a bit and may even do a bit more to it soon. It really does need a total makeover. There’s nothing earth shattering for me to say today, but I just wanted to ease my way back in the door.

I really wish that I was all ready to go with pictures of Willow Grace today, but that’s just not the case. So, my goal is to be ready with them for next Wednesday. The one problem will be deciding how to pick just a few from three months of pictures. Now there’s a challenge!

Bloggy Break

2009-02-02T09:04:00.000-06:00

I'm considering a little hiatus in writing for my blog. I will probably continue to post pics, but I want to focus my energy on a couple other projects for the moment. So, don't worry if you don't see much happening around her for a bit. I'll be back.

My Husband Rocks!

2009-01-30T07:00:00.000-06:00

3x5 – A little snapshot of Chris

3 categories
5 things for each category
A glimpse of how wonderful Chris really is

5 ways he rocked this week:

Gave me a foot massage
Washed the dishes several times.
Put Willow Grace to bed.
Helped me get everything together each morning to get out the door with Willow Grace
How he appreciated things I did like cooking or doing the laundry

5 things he does so much better than I do:

Making sweet tea
Building fires
Fixing things around the house
Working on computers
Listening

5 things I love about him:

The way he looks – his hair, his smile, his eyes….
How wonderfully silly he can be
The sound of his voice – either talking or singing
His creativity and storytelling
His intelligence and his logical way of looking at things

(looking dapper the day we wed)

100 Things I've Done

2009-01-29T07:36:00.000-06:00

I found this over at Katy Lin’s blog, and thought I'd play along. Everything that is in BOLD I've done. Let me know if you decide to play along as well.

1. Started your own blog.
2. Slept under the stars.
3. Played in a band.
4. Visited Hawaii.
5. Watched a meteor shower.
6. Given more than you can afford to charity.
7. Been to Disneyland.
8. Climbed a mountain.
9. Held a praying mantis.
10. Sang a solo.
11. Bungee jumped.
12. Visited Paris.
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea.
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch.
15. Adopted a child.
16. Had food poisoning.
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty.
18. Grown your own vegetables.
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France.
20. Slept on an overnight train.
21. Had a pillow fight.
22. Hitch hiked.
23. Taken a sick day when you're not sick.
24. Built a snow fort.
25. Held a lamb.
26. Gone skinny dipping.
27. Run a marathon.
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice.
29. Seen a total eclipse.
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset.
31. Hit a home run.
32. Been on a cruise.
33. Seen Niagra Falls in person.
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors.
35. Seen an Amish community.
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to truly be satisfied.
38. Seen the leaning tower of Pisa in person.
39. Gone rock climbing.
40. Seen Michelangelo's David.
41. Sung karaoke.
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt.
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant.
44. Visited Africa.
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight.
46. Been transported in an ambulance.
47. Had your portrait painted.
48. Gone deep sea fishing.
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person.
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris.
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling.
52. Kissed in the rain.
53. Played in the mud.
54. Gone to a drive-in theater.
55. Been in a movie.
56. Visited the Great Wall of China.
57. Started a business.
58. Taken a martial arts class.
59. Visited Russia.
60. Served in a soup kitchen.
61. Sold Girl Scout cookies.
62. Gone whale watching.
63. Gotten flowers for no reason.
64. Donated blood, platelets, or plasma.
65. Gone sky diving.
66. Visited a Nazi concentration camp.
67. Bounced a check.
68. Flown in a helicopter.
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy.
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial.
71. Eaten caviar.
72. Pieced a quilt.
73. Stood in Times Square.
74. Toured the Everglades.
75. Been fired from a job.
76. Seen the changing of the guards in London.
77. Broken a bone.
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle.
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person.
80. Published a book.
81. Been to the Vatican.
82. Bought a brand new car.
83. Walked in Jerusalem.
84. Had your picture in the paper.
85. Read the entire Bible.
86. Visited the White House.
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating.
88. Had Chicken pox.
89. Saved someone's life.
90. Sat on a jury.
91. Met someone famous.
92. Joined a book club.
93. Lost a loved one.
94. Had a baby.
95. Seen the Alamo in person.
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake.
97. Been involved in a lawsuit.
98. Owned a cell phone.
99. Been stung by a bee.
100. Read an entire book in one day.

Willow Grace Wednesday

2009-01-28T06:08:00.000-06:00

18 months ago yesterday our sweet little angel came into our lives. Here's her first profesional photo:
I really can't believe it was that long ago!

I Need This Today

2009-01-27T09:28:00.000-06:00

Lamentations 3:22-23
“The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”

My Husband Rocks!

2009-01-23T07:00:00.000-06:00

“To love all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one…. Wrap it carefully around with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglement; lock it in a safe casket or coffin of selfishness. But in that casket – safe, dark, motionless, airless – it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable…. The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all dangers of love is – –Hell.” (C.S. Lewis)

Marriage is not easy. It’s not for the faint of heart. It takes real work and determination. There is no autopilot. On those days when I lose sight of the bliss, of the blessing, that God has given me in my marriage, I’m tempted to abandon myself to the business of life, to stop trusting (both in my husband and God), and to carefully lock my heart away – just like C.S. Lewis talked about in the above quote. Yes, I am tempted, but I refuse to give in or to give up.

I am committed to being vulnerable and submitting my heart to be broken. Love is worth it. My marriage is worth it. My rockin’ husband is worth it.

This week Katy Lin over at the great adventure gave us the prompt, “Tell us about a time that your spouse went out of his way to serve you and love you sacrificially.”

Really, I could literally recount hundreds of times that Chris has put his own interests aside and scrounged up the energy or the will to do something for me. It’s in the little things that he does for me every day – cleaning the kitchen, putting the baby to bed, building me a fire, warming up my car on chilly mornings, getting up early to help me get out the door with the baby, always asking me what he can do to help me…. The list could go on and on. The cool thing is that I know it’s not just because he’s a nice guy. Really, I wouldn’t characterize him as a “nice guy;” nice guys don’t seem very strong to me. Chris IS strong. I guess I would say he’s a big tough guy with a tender heart. Really, the truest motivation behind those acts of kindness is because he really does love our daughter and me. That kind of love means that he really does rock!

Willow Grace Wednesday

2009-01-22T05:35:00.000-06:00

Yeah, so I'm late on posting again! I meant to do it last night, but Chris came home with a raging headache, and I just spent my time taking care of him and Willow Grace.

Here's a few pics from our time in Gatlinburg this last weekend.

We lounged on the bed each night while we read our books. I love reading to her every night, and she loves books!
Just so you know, she's not all smiles all the time ... just most of the time. I can't help it; I think she's cute even when she's sad.
She just needed a little Daddy attention!

I wish you could see the snow falling. Just before we left it started to snow. Since it was just the three of us, Chris took this picture himself of our little happy family.

I have a cute little story from last night. Chris went upstairs to rest, and I stayed down playing with Willow Grace, cleaning up the kitchen, and tending to a few other chores. I also had American Idol on. During the commercials I was busy in the kitchen, and Willow Grace wanted to be right with me. As soon I heard the intro music after each commercial, I would say, "It's back on," and head back to the living room. Willow Grace would stop whatever she was doing, yell "Back on!" and chase after me. We sat on the couch together watching, and she was completely enraptured. Such a cutie!

Weekend Getaway

2009-01-20T12:22:00.001-06:00

Chris, Willow Grace, and I spent a restful weekend in Gatlinburg. Since most of the pics we took were of Willow Grace, I'm going to post them tomorrow.

One of the best things about the weekend was the lack of agenda. We didn't really want to do anything but relax and spend time together. We only left our villa a couple times and not for very long. For most of our time there we kept the fire lit and spent our time hanging out in the living room. We viewed about a half dozen movies, played with Willow Grace, took an indulgently long and restful afternoon nap on Sunday, fiddled around on the computer, and just hung out. We only ate out once, taking breakfast Sunday morning at the Log Cabin Pancake House across the street from the resort; the rest of our meals were cooked in our villa. All in all, it was a nice weekend, and I'm sorry that we had to leave so soon. I'm looking forward to the day that we can spend a whole week there.

My Husband Rocks! Friday

2009-01-16T08:37:00.000-06:00

This week's prompt from Katy Lin at the great adventure is a two parter.

Part 1: List at least one thing your husband did or said in the past week that reminded you why you love him.

I can't just pick one thing! He tells me multiple times every day that he loves me. He's always willing to help me out. Just last night he happily (and without being asked) did the bedtime routine with Willow Grace and cleaned up downstairs while I busied myself with getting the packing started for our little weekend getaway. This morning it was 2 degrees outside! He went out to warm the car up for Willow Grace and me and drove it around a bit to make sure that it was nice and cozy for us!

The three of us are going away to Gatlinburg for the weekend, and I just can't wait. We're not doing anything touristy -- just hanging out in our villa, watching movies, cooking food, playing with Willow Grace, and sleeping. It'll just be so nice to get away. I love traveling with my Sweetheart!

Part 2: Share a "Generous Wife Tip" (based on The Generous Wife)

One thing I do for my husband is to make his lunch every morning. He's a simple sandwich and chips kind of guy, but I try to add a special piece of candy or homemade cookies when I can. Every once in a while I'll add a little love note. He always tells me how much he loves my notes. One of the great things about making his lunches for him is that it not only shows him how much I love him but also saves us lots of cash which is another way I help to take care of our family and show him I love him.

Willow Grace Wednesday

2009-01-15T04:52:00.000-06:00

Yeah, I'm a day late on this, but better late than....
This week I thought I'd feature Willow Grace having fun with others.

Of course, she always has fun with her mommy!

We had a play date with Kassidy and Addy. Their mom Ralanna was gently spinning the three girls around in her office chair, and they loved it! Such cuties! (See the bottom of Willow Grace's shoes? Yep, that's duct tape! Tip: Duct tape gives slippery shoes traction!)

This is Willow Grace's Wednesday morning buddy, Sylvie. Every Wednesday morning I bring Willow Grace to work with me where Donitta, my mother-in-law, picks her up. I'm not sure who has more fun, Sylvie or Willow Grace!

A Brief Glimpse of Home Life

2009-01-12T08:31:00.000-06:00

Yesterday neither Chris nor I felt very well. I had been up most of the night, only getting about 2-3 hours of sleep. So, we played hooky from church and just lounged around all day in our pj’s in front of the TV and a lovely fire Chris built for us. Finally, as evening drew near and our feelings of ill health declined, we decided (and by we I mean me ☺) that we had to do a few things to get the house in order before the work week started. I busied myself with vacuuming, making dinner, and tending to the laundry. Chris straightened the living room and cleaned up the kitchen after dinner. After dinner, I was folding and putting away Willow Grace’s clothes when I heard her distinct hysterical giggles coming from the living room downstairs. To my surprise I also heard the classic Wham song “Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go.” Apparently Willow Grace LOVED the song and danced her little heart out with her daddy! I’m sorry I missed seeing it, but I have to tell you that listening to them was priceless!

My Husband Rocks! Friday

2009-01-09T09:02:00.000-06:00

This week I’m using the prompt from Katy Lin’s blog the great adventure to brag on my fabulous husband. It’s a questionnaire about our husbands. Katy Lin is the genius that started My Husband Rocks Friday! Check out her blog!

1. Where did you meet?
He was my neighbor. He lived downstairs in my apartment building.

2. How long did you date b/f you were married?
We dated for a year and a seven months before we were married. We were engaged for six of those months.

3. What does he do that surprises you?
Sometimes he brings me flowers “just because.” He’s also walks very quietly and often, without meaning to, sneaks up on me and just about makes me jump out of my skin!

4. What is your favorite quality of his?
He is so generous, always willing to help anyone out.

5. What is your favorite feature of his?
I absolutely love his eyes; it’s amazing how much he communicates through them. He also has really nice hair. ☺

6. Does he have a nickname for you?
He calls me “Kay-Kay” just like the rest of my family, but my favorite endearing nickname that he uses for me is “Angel.” I absolutely love it when he calls me that!

7. What is his favorite food?
He loves Chinese and has told me that he would eat it every day if I let him.

8. What is his favorite sport?
He’s not really a sports fanatic, but he does enjoy watching the Titans games with me.

9. When and where was your first kiss?
I don’t remember the exact date. Can you believe that? However, I do remember that we were sitting on the couch in his apartment.

10. What do you like to do together?
Everything! We love taking drives and walks together, listening to audio books, watching movies, and just hanging out. I really did marry my best friend!

11. Do you have any children?
He have one sweet little girl, Willow Grace.

12. Does he have a hidden talent?
He can sing. I love when he sings and wish that he did it more. I also wish that he’d play his guitar more. He’s also a talented writer. I fell in love with him because when we were still just friends he would tell me amazing stories.

13. Who said "I love you" first?
He did; I would never say it first. We were on one of our many drives on the Natchez Trace.

14. What is his favorite type of music?
He mostly listens to country and jazz, but he enjoys most types of music.

15. What do you admire most about him?
I think this is closely related to the “favorite quality” question, but I’ll pick another quality. He is really devoted to his family, not just me and Willow Grace but his entire family. He really would do anything for them.

16. Do you think he will read this?
Of course, he always reads my blog.☺

Reflections

2009-01-08T09:16:00.000-06:00

Today, as I sat at my reception desk in the middle school lobby, I heard a student coming in the front door, a distinct rattle issuing from her hand. It was the sound of a brown bag lunch. I love that sound. I love the beginning of each semester when stores have isles dedicated to school supplies. I always want to stock up on folder, pencils, and notebook paper.

I hated middle and high school.

Sure, I had good moments, but, for the most part, it was, for me, a mighty struggle. I attended a private, college-prep school, and most of the kids there came from upper middle class to high-class families. I always felt somewhat like Molly Ringwold from Pretty in Pink. I was the poor girl from the wrong side of the tracks, and I just didn’t fit. I didn’t travel to Aspen for Christmas or go on vacations to Europe in the summer. I didn’t receive a brand new car when I turned 16. I didn’t go for weekend shopping trips to Atlanta or Chicago; in fact, I almost never shopped at the mall or nice department stores. I didn’t attend parties every Friday and Saturday night. I certainly endured a fair share of ridicule. However, it was determined not to let it beat me, and I emerged from it all with a solid education, a thicker skin, and a stronger character.

It’s interesting to me that I actually like school so much. Perhaps it’s because my own education was book-ended so well. I loved both elementary school and college. From the time that I was a young girl, I wanted to be a teacher. I loved being a teacher. I still want to teach; after teaching for 10 years, I miss it, just about everything about it, but mostly the relational side of it. I always hoped to make the school experience better for the students than it was for me. It bothers me just a bit telling people that I’m not currently teaching, but it’s not what I’m supposed to be doing right now. I know that. God has a different purpose for me to fulfill right now, and I really am content to be in the middle of His plan, right where I’m supposed to be. The experience has been quite rewarding already. Of course, it’s also been quite nice to leave my work at work and have my home life be just about my family right now. But, more importantly, I have felt God using me in other’s lives. What more could I ask for?

Willow Grace Wednesday

2009-01-07T07:25:00.000-06:00

We sent New Year's card instead of Christmas ones. I just couldn't decide between these two pics, so I used both.

101 Things and A Movie Review

2009-01-05T11:40:00.000-06:00

Today begins my 1001 days for my 101 Things To Do in 1001 Days. You can find my list in the side bar or here. I’m really excited about this for two main reasons. 1. I’ve been feeling a lack of purpose and couldn’t figure out how to remedy this. 2. The structure of this plan gives me 2 ¾ years in order to accomplish these goals. Totally doable.

It almost feels like I’m embarking on an adventure. In many ways, I think I am.

Yesterday, Chris and I celebrated the anniversary of our first date by going to the movies. We took in an afternoon showing of The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. What a phenonminal film! We went to see it because I’d heard a reviewer urge people to see it on the big screen due to the fact that the cinematography was brilliantly done. I must say that he was quite right. This is certainly a movie worthy of the price of the ticket. The film can also boast an engaging plot and superb acting. I’ve often felt that Brad Pitt’s personal life tends to overshadow his career, which is quite sad. Whatever one might say about whatever else is reported about him, I do believe him to be quite a gifted actor. And, of course, Kate Blanchett was as engaging as ever. In truth, I felt, on the whole, the entire film was beautifully acted. I sincerely hope that the Oscars did this film it’s just reward(s).

Happy Monday!

My Husband Rocks! Friday

2009-01-02T22:34:00.000-06:00

This Sunday will be the fifth anniversary of our first date. I remember exactly what I was wearing; I know I blushed when he told me how pretty he thought I looked. There was a chill in the night air, and so even though the lobby was packed tight we wedged ourselves into a corner to wait for a table at PF Changs. He held my hand, and I could feel the tension in his stance, like he was clearly declaring to others that I was off limits. After dinner, we thoroughly enjoyed browsing around the Borders bookstore next door and reveling in our mutual love of books.

We had been friends for three years and seemed to just stumble into falling for one another. It was later that we started to see God's hand in all of it.

This is us just four months after we started dating. We were out for one of our many leisurely drives on the Natchez Trace. We had NO idea what we were in for, but the ride certainly has been worth it. I'm so proud to call myself Chris's wife. I am so blessed to raise a child with him. And I'm looking forward to the next five (and the next fifty) years with him.

I love you, my Chris!

101 Things in 1001 Days.

2009-01-01T09:27:00.000-06:00

A lot of people are looking at making resolutions differently, and I love the idea. Check out the mission and the directions below. My list is below, but I'm also going to post it in my side bar in order to keep it on my mind.

101 Things in 1001 days - Check out Maci's blog and Katy Lin's blog if you want more ideas for your own 101 things.

The Mission:Complete 101 preset tasks in a period of 1001 days.

The Criteria:Tasks must be specific (i.e. no ambiguity in the wording) with a result that is either measurable or clearly defined. Tasks must also be realistic and stretching (i.e. represent some amount of work on my part).

Why 1001 Days?Many people have created lists in the past - frequently simple goals such as New Year's resolutions. The key to beating procrastination is to set a deadline that is realistic. 1001 Days (about 2.75 years) is a better period of time than a year, because it allows you several seasons to complete the tasks, which is better for organizing and timing some tasks such as overseas trips or outdoor activities.

Some common goal setting tips:
1. Be decisive. Know exactly what you want, why you want it, and how you plan to achieve it.
2. Stay Focused. Any goal requires sustained focus from beginning to end. Constantly evaluate your progress.
3. Welcome Failure. Frequently, very little is learned from a venture that did not experience failure in some form. Failure presents the opportunity to learn and makes the success more worthy.
4. Write down your goals. It clarifies your thinking and reinforces your commitment.
5. Keep your goals in sight. Review them frequently, and ensure that they are always at the forefront of your thinking.

KAY-KAY'S LIST

Spiritual
1. Memorize a verse a week from the Bible.
2. Read the Bible every day.
3. Read through the entire Bible once a year.
4. Begin and end each day with prayer.
5. Pray with Chris before bed each night.
6. Listen to at least two teaching series each year.
7. Read at least three non-fiction Christian books each year.
8. Be consistent with my grateful journal. At least 3 times a week, write down 3 things that I can be grateful for.
9. Increase our tithe/offerings.
10. Choose at least one new ministry to support with prayer and financially.
Mind Matters
11. Finish writing at least one novel.
12. Send that novel to a publisher.
13. Read all of the books on my Shelfari “Plan to Read” list.
14. One day of each week, leave the TV off. Instead, read or play games.
15. Memorize all the presidents in order.
16. Memorize all fifty states and their capitals.
17. Reread The Chronicles of Narnia.
18. Reread at least 3 classic novels a year.
19. Read at least 3 classic novels I’ve never read each year.
20. Read 101 books.
21. Write at least two children’s books.
22. Find an illustrator for my children’s books.
23. Send those books to a publisher.

Family /Marriage
24. Get Chris to teach me to drive stick shift.
25. Go on at least one date a month with Chris.
26. Have another baby.
27. Go to the Nashville Zoo with Chris and Willow Grace.
28. Create a living will.
29. Go on at least one vacation a year with Chris.
30. Go hiking with Chris.
31. Go camping.
32. Send birthday cards to every member of my family.
33. Do something fun with my sister once a month.
34. Do something fun with my mom at least once a month.
35. Go on a girls-only weekend with my mom and sister.
36. Invite friends or relatives over for dinner at least once a month.
37. Watch one new movie a week with Chris after Willow Grace has gone to bed.
38. Plan a dinner with my parents once a month.
39. Plan a dinner with Chris’s parents once a month.
40. Complete the Love Dare.

Health
41. Reach my goal weight.
42. Maintain my goal weight for 6 months (unless I get pregnant, of course)
43. Drink a gallon of water a day.
44. Eliminate colas during the week.
45. Designate sweets for one weekday and weekends only.
46. Follow the 3-Hour Diet by Gorges Cruise.
47. Keep a food journal.
48. Workout 3-5 times a week every week.
49. Walk up/down the stairs at work several times each day.
50. Add more fruits, vegetables and salads to our meals.
51. Take my vitamins every morning.
52. Add Vitamin D to my vitamins.
53. Add Cod Liver Oil to my vitamins.
54. Take fiber.

Home/Cooking
55. Use my crock pot at least once a month.
56. Have the carpets cleaned.
57. Install wood flooring downstairs.
58. Touch up all the marks on our walls.
59. Cook at least one new meal a month.
60. Plan all of our dinners at least a month in advance.
61. Have a 16x20 made of our wedding photo, frame it, and hang it above the mantle.
62. Frame the 10x13 3, 6, 9, & 12 month shots of Willow Grace and hang them in the stairway.
63. Drag out all my scrapbooking materials and start scrapping again.
64. Fill all of the scrapbook albums I own by the end of 1001 days.
65. Finish creating my own marinara sauce.
66. Use my bread maker at least four times a year.
67. Find a place for everything we own and maintain order in the house for two weeks straight.
68. Learn to make homemade biscuits and gravy.

Finances
69. Eliminate all credit card debt.
70. Eliminate all debt not connected to our home.
71. Build our savings to at least 4x what it is now.
72. Create a college fund for Willow Grace.

Community
73. Plan and have at least 2 women’s appreciation teas.
74. Buy 10 gifts for others “just because.”
75. Get and use a recycling bin for cardboard, plastics, and glass.
76. Walk for a cure.
77. Participate in the Angel Tree every Christmas.
78. Invite our neighbors over for dinner.
79. Volunteer to feed the homeless at Woodcock with Dad.
80. Always volunteer when the opportunity arises to prepare a meal for someone in need.

Personal/Fun
81. Finish 5 paintings
82. Change my blog’s appearance to something fun.
83. Get recertified in CPR/First Aid.
84. Buy some roller skates and use them often.
85. Go ice skating at least twice a year.
86. Watch the sunrise at least twice a year.
87. Watch the sunset at least twice a year.
88. Get Eva Joy to teach me how to crochet.
89. Complete a crochet project.
90. Complete at least three cross stitch projects.
91. Learn to sew.
92. Sew an outfit for my daughter.
93. Learn to write in calligraphy.
94. Take a gun safety class.
95. Get my license to carry a gun.
96. Go to a drive-in movie at least once a year.
97. Take guitar lessons.
98. Go to a Titans game.
99. Go to a Sounds game.
100. Each Christmas, be sure to set aside one night to go and look at lights.
101. Write for my blog at least three times a week.

Willow Grace Wednesday

2008-12-31T13:20:00.000-06:00

Too many cute pics of her from the last week!

I love her little Pebbles pony tail!

Such a happy girl!

Doesn't she look like Little Red Riding Hood?

She was so good at Christmas breakfast. She tried to use her spoon and actually left the plate and place mat on her tray the whole time. Really, it was an accomplishment!

Waiting patiently to open gifts with Pop.

Watching Praise Baby with Papa.

She's holding my childhood bear, F.O., whom she absolutely loves! The penguin is Guinny, also mine, which Chris gave me on our first anniversary.

My Husband Rocks! Friday

2008-12-26T09:20:00.000-06:00

Very simply.... He helped to make this a great Christmas. He loves me and Willow Grace so well. He's funny and fun and silly and even serious when he needs to be. I love my Chris!

To learn more about my husband rocks! Friday and/or to join us in bragging on our husbands, check out Katy Lin's blog the great adventure.

Merry Christmas!

2008-12-25T06:45:00.000-06:00

(our yule log)

Willow Grace Wednesday

2008-12-24T07:00:00.000-06:00

I can't tell you how thrilled I am to be able to take pictures again. As I mentioned yesterday, we had to go ahead and buy a battery charger for the camera since we lost ours. It's worth it though to be able to snap pics of my little sweetheart.

She was so thrilled when she found Chris's hat. It's one of the 50 or so words she knows.Here she is in her new Christmas coat. We were headed out the door yesterday to attend a little Christmas party. She was really ready to go and kept saying "side" (outside).On Sunday, on our way back from Crossville, she conked out in the car. She really does travel well. Even when she's awake, she's a happy girl. That stuffed animal she's holding is one of my old ones, a bear named Curtis disguised as a reindeer. (Remember him, Eva Joy?)

Merry Christmas Eve!

Bad, bad blogger!

2008-12-23T07:11:00.000-06:00

I have just been lazy on the blogging front. I even missed bragging on my husband this last Friday for My Husband Rocks! Friday. I've been busy getting ready for Christmas, spending tiem with my sweet Willow Grace, and trying desperately to bring some order to my house. Ialso just joined FaceBook this last week, and that's been eating up all my computer time. I promise to do better. Tomorrow I'll post some cute pics of Willow Grace. We never found the battery charger for our camera and had to buy another one! Erg! That's just not something you want to spend money on at Christmas, but I guess it just had to be done. Oh, well.

Merry Christmas!

Willow Grace Wednesday

2008-12-17T09:02:00.000-06:00

Sadly, we still cannot find our charger for our camera. Chris said that if we can't find it by Friday we're just going to have to buy a new one. I can't miss documenting this Christmas! I'm praying that we happen upon it tonight!

Thankfully one of my co-workers took a couple of pics of her in her little smocked Christmas dress this morning. I am so grateful that she had her camera handy.(Can you see her little sprig of a pony tail? It's just like Pebbles!)

(While her cheeks are almost always rosey, you can plainly tell by her eyes that was so tired this morning. She's also cutting a molar on her left side)

She's had a couple of spills in the last 24 hours. Last night, in her enthusiam to get to me, she ran right off the curb and marked up her little forehead a bit. And then, this morning, it happened. I think I had been sort of anticipating it. She tried climbing out of her crib and fell out! Chris and I were in bed when we heard a loud boom and then her crying. I bolted to her room and found her standing beside her bed! I don't think it really hurt her, just scared her a bit, but it's time to make a few adjustments.

My Husband Rocks! Friday

2008-12-12T09:50:00.000-06:00

To join us in encouraging our spouses, check out Katy Lin's blog the great adventure. She's the mastermind behind this cool meme!

We had my parents over for dinner on Tuesday night. I made a big pot hearty vegetable beef soup, toasted a couple of baguettes in the oven, and served warm brownies with ice cream for dessert. Here’s the part where my husband rocks. While I got dinner on the table, Chris fed Willow Grace, played with her while I tidied up after, dressed her for bed, read her books, sang to her, and rocked her to sleep. When he came back downstairs, he finished cleaning up the kitchen for me while I visited with my parents, and then after they left he took my car to the gas station to fill it up for me. Doesn’t it all seem too good to be true? He really is that wonderful! His response would be,” I’m just me.” Well, he just rocks!

I wish that you could have seen Chris with Willow Grace. They were playing on the floor in front of the Christmas tree, and he was making her laugh hysterically. (Who doesn’t love hearing a baby cackle?) Once she let out a particularly delightful peal of giggles and said, “Oh, Daddy!” Precious! In between each bout of laughter, she would notice her Nana, Papa, and me watching from the dining room and pause to wave at us. So sweet!

This morning I got an extra couple of hours with my sweet husband and baby girl since the school where I work got a late opening due to snow. I hope your morning was as good as mine.

Merry Christmas!

Christmas Questionaire

2008-12-11T07:30:00.000-06:00

Here's another fun thing I found at Katy Lin's blog. If you decide to participate, let me know; I'd love to see your responses.

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? I use it all. I like a good mix of gft bags, wrapping paper, decorative tins and boxes, and any other creative means of giving.

2. Real tree or Artificial? Sadly, I’m allergic to trees, so it’s a fake tree for us.

3. When do you put up the tree? We always put it up the weekend after Thanksgiving. If it were up to me, it would be up earlier. (:

4. When do you take the tree down? Most people don’t know that the 12 days of Christmas actually starts on Christmas day, so Christmas doesn’t end until January 5. I never take down the tree before Christmas is over!

5. Do you like Egg Nog? It depends on the brand/who makes it.

6. Favorite gift received as a child? I received a Barbie Dream House when I was 8 or 9, and it was just the best thing I could have imagined. I was absolutely shocked.

7. Hardest person to buy for? In general, I think men are hard to shop for.

8. Easiest person to buy for? Willow Grace. The hard part is not going overboard with her!

9. Do you have a nativity scene? Yes! My mother-in-law bought me one that sits on my mantle.

10. Mail or email Christmas cards? Snail mail is the way to go. We decorate the inside of our front door with all the Christmas cards we get each year.

11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? When I taught I got tons of Christmas goodies, and some of them were not so good.

12. Favorite Christmas Movie? That’s hard because I love holiday movies. I love Christmas in Connecticut, the old one with Barbara Stanwick. I also can’t get enough of White Christmas and The Muppet’s Christmas Carol.

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? Sometimes I start in the summer!

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? Yep, I have. There’s no sense in things I can’t use gathering dust when I know that someone else would love it. Mostly this has happened with gift cards or gifts I've received from students.

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas and favorite Christmas dessert? There’s too many yummy things to choose from.

16. Lights on the tree? We wrap the center of the tree in white to give it a inner glow, and then we put on tons of colored lights.

17. Favorite Christmas song? I love Christmas music, so I can't pick just one. I can tell you, guiltily, that my favorite Christmas album is *NSYNC’s. I just can’t help it. We listen to it year round!

18. Travel at Christmas or stay home? Both of our families live close, so we don’t have to go far to visit everyone.

19. Can you name all of Santa’s reindeer’s? I can name them, sing them-whatever you want. I use to always use that as a bonus question on my final exam before Christmas break. I think the kids worked harder on that question than any other!

20. Angel on the tree top or a star? We actually have a snowman. I love snowpeople!

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? We open one on Christmas Eve and the rest on Christmas morning.

22. Most annoying thing about this time of the year? I love it all. I love the decorations, the music, the festive attire, shopping for others—just everything. I guess if there were something that annoyed me it would be people who just refuse to try to be cheerful and insist on complaining.

23. Favorite ornament theme or color? I love snowpeople and snowflakes.

24. Handmade ornaments or store bought? We have an eclectic mix.

25. What do you want for Christmas this year? I really don’t want much and can’t think of anything big. I want Sleeping Beauty, some cool barrettes and jewelry, and a few other odds and ends. Really, I just want enough money to buy stuff for everyone else.

Willow Grace Wednesday

2008-12-10T07:30:00.000-06:00

Just two shots this week. The battery on the camera fizzled, and we can't find the charger! Erg! I'm sure it will turn up when we least expect it.

Willow Grace loves her Winnie the Pooh armchair. We moved it down to the living room from her room so she could get more use out of it. Look at that orange nose! It looks like it's time to lay off the carrots!

And so ends another busy day! It's so cute when she falls asleep in her high chair. After her veggies, she held out long enough to eat two chocolate Teddy Grahams!

Here's hoping your Wednesday is happy!

The Roaring 20's

2008-12-08T05:10:00.001-06:00

Friday was 20's day for the 8th grade at CPA. Since my desk is in the lobby, I was the concierge/coat check girl. I love any opportunity to put on a costume. The lobby and gym were decked out like a swanky hotel. They even had a huge swan ice sculpture. It was the bee's knees!

(me & Dad just after I dropped off Willow Grace)

(Look at my fancy hair! Isn't it just the berries?!?!)

(me and Lydia, my friend's daughter)

(Here I am playing my part.)

My Husband Rocks! Friday

2008-12-05T07:00:00.000-06:00

Katy Lin at the great adventure gave us a prompt this week for My Husband Rocks! Friday. We can choose whether or not we want to use it – no pressure. I thought that it sounded like a good idea.

Here’s the prompt:
“How did you meet your spouse? What initially attracted you to your spouse? How does that personality trait or physical characteristic affect you today? What is the same? What has changed?”

THE STORY OF US
In 2001, Chris and I became neighbors. He moved in downstairs from me in our apartment building. For a while it was just a simple greeting when we happened to see each other in the parking lot or stairway. However, one bright summer morning, my sister Eva and I were hanging out on my balcony when he came home from the night shift. I asked, “Hey, do you want a candy cane?” He eyed me suspiciously and said, “But it’s July….” “I know,” I replied. “I always have candy canes!” He agreed to take one, and we ended up talking for quite a while – him standing on the sidewalk and me leaning over the railing of the balcony. For the next couple years we developed a friendship – playing cards and board games, hanging out in each other’s apartments with our roommates, having dinner together, going for long drives down the Natchez Trace and all around Nashville, hiking in the park, and blasting through snow drifts in the mall parking lot the winter we had a freak snowstorm.

It’s still a bit of a mystery to me how it all happened. I wasn’t interested in him at all romantically, so I can’t really point to a quality that attracted me to him. However, one night, we were driving around talking about things we had gone through in our lives, and he reached over to hold my hand. It wasn’t something he even planned; it just happened. I thought, “ Well, this is new. It’s strange but OK.” Really, I thought it was more of a comfort thing than a romantic thing. Nothing was said about it, and it didn’t happen again for a bit. Slowly, we started getting closer, and one night I was getting ready to go down to his apartment to see him and realized that I was actually giddy! I couldn’t wait to see him. I told myself that I was just happy to be hanging out with my friend.

Our first official date was January 4, 2004. I had received a gift card to PF Changs for Christmas from one of my students, and so Chris and I went out to dinner. I don’t think it really started out as a date, but the way we held hands that night coupled with the way he looked at me changed everything. Three months later, on March 13, on yet another one of our drives on the Natchez Trace, Chris whipped into one of the small parking lots and told me he loved me. I laughed. He was confused. But I was just so happy; I couldn’t help it. And yes, I did finally stop laughing and tell him that I loved him too. (the summer after we started dating)

Just over a year later, on a gorgeous spring day in April, on a beautiful overlook, Chris surprised me by dropping to one knee and asking me to be his wife. (the only pic we have from the day we got engaged taken with the webcam)

We married on August 5, 2005, five months earlier than my original plan; we just couldn’t’ wait to begin our married life together.
Honestly, I am constantly in awe of the joy that being married to Chris has brought me. Just yesterday morning I told him that I am still mystified by the fact that we are married and that we have such a beautiful baby girl. I never imagined that I could be loved the way he loves me – so completely and unconditionally. I am still giddily in love with him and get excited about seeing him at the end of every day.

Willow Grace Wednesday

2008-12-03T07:30:00.000-06:00

Our sweet, fun-loving, cheerful, bouncy girl is back! We are so thrilled that she's not sick anymore; it was just too sad watching her lounge around and not being able to smile. Chris certainly has enjoyed playtime with her. These pictures were taken on Sunday while I busied myself with Christmas decorations. Chris was busy himself - with entertaining the baby. There's nothing like Daddy-daughter time!

Be cheerful!

2008-12-02T07:59:00.000-06:00

I love Tuesdays. On most Tuesdays, Dad stops by my work. Sure, he gets to see me, but he would come by regardless. You see, as part of his ministry, he visits several businesses around town and takes prayer requests on long, wide strips of green paper. All week long he constantly prays for those people; in fact, he never stops praying for these people. There are two phrases that you can count on hearing him say, the first is "Don't forget to pray." He reminds me of this on a daily basis. The second is "Be cheerful!" For this, he is nearly famous. I cannot tell you how many people I've witnessed try to beat him to saying it.

Every few months he brings around a stack of Our Daily Bread booklets, a small, three month, daily devotional. Even on days when time is tight, anyone can afford to take a moment to read these; it's even posted online. In thinking about the Christmas season, it's hard sometimes to reconcile in my own mind the balance between being content to indulge in the celebration and also to vigilantly seek to help others who suffer; Sunday's entry helps a bit with this. You can find it here. It's based on Romans 12:15 "Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep."

So many people are suffering right now having recently lost a loved one. Others of us are trying to hold on to those last few precious moments we have with our loved ones before they are released from their mortal bodies and welcomed home to Jesus. Then of course there are others who are poor, hungry, homeless, and suffer at the hands of evil people. There certainly is a way for us to live out Romans 12:15 and to remain cheerful throughout. That cheerfulness is not based on human conditions but on true hope, on our faith in Christ. Without that cheer, that true joy, why would anyone see any difference in us. Who would want to leave their own downtrodden conditions to follow after a somber-faced Christian? The light of the joy of the Lord, His cheer, should shine through our eyes even in trying times.

So, I can decorate, celebrate, revel in the festivities, praise the Lord, comfort those who are mourning, weep over the losses in my own life, fight against evil, and thank God for all the gifts He's given us all this Christmas. I can certainly BE CHEERFUL!

My Husband Rocks! Friday

2008-11-28T18:31:00.000-06:00

What a couple of days we've had! Willow Grace has had a fever since she woke up from her nap on Wednesday.

Doesn't she look so tired? And yet, she still has that little hint of a smile playing around her lips. Yeah, she knows what the camera is for!

I have to tell you that my husband has shined through this experience. A couple of times her fever spiked to 104.8! It's been hard on both of us since this really is the first time she's been sick other than a cold. She's needed constant attention and monitoring. At times she been so fussy which she almost never does, and then the fever declines allowing a little of that chipperness we usually experience to bubble back to the top. There's the bubbly side. Can you believe that she had a temp of 102.8 at this point? That's my cell she's holding. She kept saying, "Hello? Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh."

Chris has rocked this entire time! On Wednesday night neither of us got more than 1 1/2 hours of sleep! Still, he has been supportive, helpful, patient, and loving. Among other things, here's some of the sweet things he's done--

prayed constantly for Willow Grace
read her lots of books and watched tons of Disney shows with her
gone to pick up medicine and Pedialite from the pharmacy
built fires to help keep us warmer
endlessly cuddled her and let her sleep on his chest
stayed up all night with us when she just couldn't sleep Wednesday night
remained at home with her all day yesterday, missing Thanksgiving lunch at his parents' house and dinner with my parents (I had cooked 5 dishes for my parents' dinner, so I delivered them and got to have dinner.)
made sure I got some rest
did whatever he could to take care of me in order to help me to better take care of her

Aren't they sweet together? It's enough to melt a wife's heart!

What a great husband! What a great daddy!

Willow Grace Wednesday

2008-11-26T21:55:00.001-06:00

Here I finally am at the end of the day. No pictures. I've just been too busy preparing for Thanksgiving and taking care of the baby. Willow Grace has not been feeling well today. Her temp got up to 102.9! Man, was her skin hot! She is usually so happy, bouncy, and overflowing with energy. Today, she was fussy and was content to lounge on my bed and watch most of White Christmas! After Chris came home, while I busied myself in the kitchen with preparing holiday dishes and our dinner, she spent most of the evening resting against his chest and watching TV -- so not like her. She's sleeping soundly now, and her temp is getting closer to normal. Whew! We're praying for a full recovery while she sleeps. I want to see that bright sparkle back in her eyes tomorrow. It was so sad to watch her today.

I hope everyone has a wonderful time with your family and your turkey tomorrow!
Happy Thanksgiving!

A Bit of Nostalgia

2008-11-25T10:23:00.000-06:00

I think I always start to get a bit nostalgic around the holidays, not just for sweet Thanksgiving and Christmas memories but also just ones from my childhood. I’m going to take a couple of posts to share a few of these with you. I thought I’d do one this week and one next week. Hmmm, maybe I’ll even make it a weekly thing. We’ll see.

ONE: My first memory comes from when I was two years old… yes, two. We lived in some apartments in north Nashville, and I was walking with my mom to the pool where a party was going on. I remember people being on the roof of the clubhouse when we arrived at the pool, and they were diving off into the pool. It seemed so exciting and dangerous, and I thought that adults must always have fun like that.

TWO: I am perhaps four years old. It’s such a lovely family picture of us --- Mom, Dad, my older brother Wayne --- having a picnic in a pavilion in the park. I remember my mom was wearing light colored jeans, and her dark hair hung loose down her back. Wayne and I went to hunt four leaf clovers in the grass. I looked up to see Mom and Dad close together in conversation and wondered what they were talking about. They would soon join Wayne and me in our search for four leaf clovers. Being only four, I didn’t understand then that this was no “normal” family picnic; I was just happy that we were all together. What was not “normal” about it? We were visiting my dad in prison, and that “park” was the prison yard of the Tennessee State Prison, incidentally the same prison from The Green Mile and The Last Castle.

(FYI for those of you not in the know: Daddy had become a Christian and a “man on fire” for God while in prison and did get out of prison. A year after getting out of prison, he started a ministry, Hope and Life Ministry, which includes jail/prison ministry and free counseling for marriage, drug/alcohol abuse, etc.)

THREE: I was about 11 years old, and we had a magnificent snow that winter. (Oh, why can’t it snow like that in Nashville once again?) Dad took Wayne and me and our best friends, Bonnie and Luke, out for some fun in the snow. His brand of fun was so different from most parents. He tied the sled to the back of the car and pulled us all over our neighborhood. Once all four of us were on the sled when Dad turned sharply around a corner sliding us all off of the back of the sled and landing us in exactly the same positions as on the sled. Later Bonnie and I were on the sled when it flipped over and somehow caught her food between the blade and the board causing her to be dragged behind the car. She was reaching out towards me and yelling, “Kay-Kay, help!” I tried running towards her but of course could not catch up to the slow moving car on the slippery snow. Finally freeing her foot, she laid there panting when I caught up to her and we set out to walk the mile back to our house. It was a short trip however, because Luke noticed the empty sled, and Dad turned around to retrieve us.

My Husband Rocks! (a different approach)

2008-11-21T09:07:00.000-06:00

Please visit Katy Lin's blog the great adventure to learn more about My Husband Rocks! Fridays and to join us in encouraging our spouses. Now more than ever it's so important to lift up our spouses and to protect our marriages!

I cant’ help but gush about my husband and our marriage. I can’t help but to seek out his hand while we walk into church, stroll around the mall, or ride in the car. I have no problem snuggling up to him while we’re sitting on the couch in our parents’ homes or giving him a quick kiss when he stops by my work to deliver some item I’ve forgotten at home or to bring me lunch. It all started with a slow building friendship, and so even after all this time he is still my best friend, the one I prefer above all others with whom to spend my time.

My husband rocks!

Most days I would say that I have a dream marriage. I honestly never believed that I would find the kind of love that I now experience. I never dreamed that someone could love me so much and treat me so well. I never had any guy treat me as good as my Chris, unless you count Dad. To be loved for myself, just as I am, because I am the way I am, is such an unexpected delight. It all serves to remind me how much my Heavenly Father loves me.

Of course, it’s not always sunny days and ice cream. Some days are hard. Really hard. Some moments are downright unbearably painful. We can both be terribly stubborn and blinded by our own emotions and opinions. Tempers will flare, and feelings get hurt. What’s so wonderful is that this is always followed the heartfelt apologies and the readily given forgiveness and the reminder of how much we loved each other.

Our marriage rocks!

Despite all of the trials and obstacles that we face in this marriage, this life we share, I am intensely grateful to God for putting me on this journey with Chris, for blessing us with our sweet Willow Grace so we can build a family together, and for the spiritual encouragement that Chris has been giving me. I’m not only in love with my husband, but I am also in love with my Savior and overwhelmed by the unfathomable love He has for me, for all of us.

Our God rocks!

Willow Grace Wednesday

2008-11-19T07:15:00.000-06:00

We went shopping at Opry Mills Mall on Saturday with Nana and Aunt Eva Joy, and Willow Grace got to take her first ride on a carousel. She started cracking up as soon as the ride began! She really loved it; I can't wait to take her again. Chris and Willow Grace were just playing it cool at Carrabba's after Eva Joy's birthday lunch on Sunday. (Happy Birthday, Eva Joy. We love you!)

My Husband Rocks!

2008-11-13T19:21:00.001-06:00

To learn more about my husband rocks Fridays check out sweet Katy Lin's blog at the great adventure.

Yesterday I came down with a miserable cold and felt absolutely terrible by the time I arrived home. Chris took care of everything. He stopped by the Walgreens to get some medicine for me, made me a soothing cup of hot tea, built a fire for me, fed Willow Grace her dinner, played with her, and put her to bed. He even went out after I went to bed to fill up the Rover with gas and pick up a gallon of milk for the baby! What a guy!

(These pics were taken on our mini-vaca to Gatlinburg this last weekend.) I feel so safe and loved in his arms. He hugs me all the time. I came from a very affectionate family, and I am so happy that I have a husband who is the same way.

Have a great weekend!

Willow Grace Wednesday

2008-11-12T20:53:00.000-06:00

The Reed's in the Great Smokey Mountains! This was part of the view off of our balcony. I wish that we had taken more pictures. In some of the areas we went the fall leaves were simply glorious. OK, so anyway, I know that I'm posting really late in the day, and I haven't been a very good blogger for a few days. However, since I was out of town for a long weekend, I keep getting all of my days confused. Most of the day today I couldn't figure out if it was Tuesday, Wednesday, or Thursday!

Anyway, here's a few pics to celebrate sweet Willow Grace!

She was hanging out with her Papa (my dad) in front of the big fireplace at Cracker Barrel. What a cute couple!Her Gran Gran bought her this cozy little coat. She started out so happy and was gradually lulled to sleep in the car! She's a great little traveler!

~My Husband Rocks!~ Friday

2008-11-07T10:08:00.000-06:00

If you want to know more about My Husband Rocks! Fridays, go visit Katy Lin at the great adventure. We'd love for you to join us in encouagin our spouses!

My husband rocks because he makes me laugh. Every day. Most days he makes me laugh so hard that I snort, which he strangely thinks is cute. And then we laugh more because of the snort. He is so playful and silly and embraces those same qualities in me.

Just last night we were on our way to a play, and he made me laugh so hard that I could hardly get my breath, and then, of course, I snorted...twice! He asked me if I was going to blog about it, but it really was one of those "you had to be there" kind of things.

So, anyway, that's why he rocks-- for giving me the amazing gift of laughter. Hmmm, I was just thinking about that ride to the play, and I have to say that he also rocks because he always holds my hand in the car. I love that!

Have a great weekend!

Choosing What is Right Over What is Easy

2008-11-06T08:58:00.000-06:00

"Choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve.... But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord." Joshua 24:15

Over the last week or two, this theme keeps recurring in my life… in conversations, in the blogs I peruse, in my devotionals, and in the books I read. Of course you Harry Potter fans will recognize this as one of the big themes from the series. Harry is constantly faced with serious decisions where he must choose either the good or the easy. Just as Dumbledore tells Harry in chapter 18 of Chamber of Secrets, “It’s our choices, Harry, that show who we really are, far more than our abilities.” Over and over this truth is prominently displayed in the books. (There’s a whole chapter about this in Looking for God in Harry Potter by John Granger, a book highly recommend.)

One of my bloggy friends shared a story of when her husband stood for the right, lost his job, but was given an even better job less than 24 hours later. God rewarded his faithfulness. Another lady commented that the same thing had happened to her husband.

It’s amazing to me how often I’m encouraged to “just say that you’re ___________, ” and that blank is always filled with something that many would consider a “little white lie.” Where did that even come from? A lie is a lie. Lying to make a situation a bit easier for yourself is still lying; it’s still sin. Why do people encourage each other to do this all the time?

Here’s an example: I was planning on leaving work a little early the other day, but the two people I usually report to had already left early to attend a volleyball game which I was not planning on attending. When I told another lady that I was planning on leaving early, she said, “Just say that you went to the game.” I suppose it seemed harmless enough to her, but it would be a lie. Just a little bit of untruth, a little bit of sin, is the same thing as adding just a little bit of iocane powder* to your drink. You may not be able to see it, but it will definitely affect you!

It really is all about the choices we make.

*Fictional poison from The Princess Bride. The poison was colorless and odorless but deadly.

Willow Grace Wednesday

2008-11-05T07:00:00.000-06:00

I'm totally making up for the shortage of pics last week. Here she is Halloween day - happy, dancing baby!

She was a bumble bee for Halloween. She can say "pumpkin." She actually knows about 30 words!

While she is, of course, too young to go trick-or-treating, she did watch for others who might come to her Gran-Gran's door.
I just thought she looked so cute in this little layered look. I had to post it.

Mmm...

2008-11-03T08:28:00.001-06:00

What a morning!
-- a hot cup of English Breakfast tea (always takes me back to Ireland)
-- a gentle chill in the air
-- the lingering aroma of last night's fire still hanging in the air of our living room
-- gorgeous flashes of burnt orange, vibrant red, and cheerful yellow leaves
-- the cathartic crunching feeling and sound of the leaves beneath my feet

Yes, autumn is here in all its glory, and I love it!

Happy Fall everyone!

(For those of you who are wondering, I'm waiting until Wednesday to post pics of Willow Grace in her Halloween costume. Stay tuned!)

~My Husband Rocks!~ Friday

2008-10-31T07:52:00.001-05:00

To learn more about My Husband Rocks! Fridays and to join us in edifying our amazing husbands, skip on over to see the wonderful Miss Katy Lin at her blog The Great Adventure.

Does he look nervous in this picture? This was, of course, taken just a couple hours before we wed on August 5, 2005. I don’t think he looks nervous, but he told me that he was extremely nervous that day until he saw me walking down the isle towards him. He wasn’t sure if he was doing the right thing… not for himself but for me. He was concerned that he would somehow make my life worse. (Well, let me put you at ease, Baby.) I’ve never in my life been happier. Since I met and married my Chris, my life has only gotten better and better. Yep, he rocks!

In this pic, Dad is supposed to be warning Chris to treat me right, but of course neither of them are taking it very seriously. It’s weird how much they are alike – can fix just about anything, know a lot about cars, and treat their wives so wonderfully. Yeah, my dad rocks too!

Oh, and Chris also rocks because he’s gone out every chilly morning this week to warm up the car for me and our sweet Willow Grace. It’s been so nice and toasty, and I haven’t had to scrape any frost off the windows. What a man!

Willow Grace Wednesday

2008-10-29T07:00:00.000-05:00

Can you believe that I only have a couple shots to share with you this week? I somehow let the battery die on our camera, so I didn't take many pictures of her this last week.

Sweet moment with Chris.... I just love watching them interact with each other.

Is that just the cutest outfit? Her Gran-Gran (Chris's mom) bought it for her. This was taken on our trip to Crossville last Saturday, just before my camera died.

It's Monday, and I'm tired.

2008-10-27T07:52:00.000-05:00

Do you remember those weekends when there was nothing to do or at least nothing that had to be done? I guess I might have still had some of those until July 2007, but after I got married in 2005 they certainly became less and less available.

The weekend started nice enough. On Friday night after we had gotten the little one off to bed Chris built a fire in our fireplace. It was our first time to use it since we moved here, and we very unpleasantly discovered that the handle which indicates that the flue is open is actually broken. This was, of course, discovered after getting the fire going. S0 -- break out the fire extinguisher, open the windows, turn on the fan, air out the house, and start all over again! Chris managed to crawl part way into the fireplace and open the flue manually. I actually had the pleasure of falling asleep on the couch to the crackling noise and the warm glow of a lovely fire. I'll try to liberate one of the pics from the camera later and post it.

That was the last bit of downtime....

Between traveling most of the day Saturday to see Chris's grandmother in Crossville and cleaning all day Sunday, there was little time for relaxation. We didn't make it to church on Sunday for the second time in a row! Willow Grace was ill with a bad cold and had developed a bad cough. I even considered taking her to the doctor but since she had no fever I knew I'd just be paying $25 to have them tell me, "Make sure she gets plenty of liquids and rest." Thanks, got it.

Instead of going with Chris to his belated birthday dinner at his parents' house, little Miss Willow Grace and I stayed home. She busied herself with taking all of the books off of her shelf a half a dozen times, and I busied myself with replacing those same books and patiently trying to teach her that they need to stay on the shelf. In addition to that I

washed, dried, and folded a few loads of laundry

washed dishes in the sink

load and unloaded the dishwasher

cleaned out the refrigerator

vacuumed

moved the mattress and box springs off of our bed in order to inspect the frame and put it all back together (Chris doesn't know I did this since he was gone, but I guess now the cat's out of the bag!)

cleared several piles of books, papers, clothes, and various other random items from around the house

took care of Willow Grace (a full time job all on its own)

Next weekend looks to be just as or even more busy than this one, and we'll be traveling the week after that. Maybe some day, somehow, we'll enjoy one of those do-nothing weekends of the past. Hmm, maybe when we're in our 80's....

Edit: Here's a pic I promised of our first fire.

~My Husband Rocks!~ Friday

2008-10-24T07:43:00.000-05:00

Why does my husband rock? He rocks because his love is so "daily."

Every day he...
~texts or emails me to check on me -- just to see how my day is going and to tell me he misses and loves me.
~makes me laugh.
~utters those three precious words "I love you" several times.
~works hard to provide for his family.
~tells me that I'm beautiful.
~tries to help me around the house and with the baby.
~gives me sweet kisses and wonderful bear hugs.
~compliments me on a wide array of things like my cooking, creativity, silliness, and ingenuity.
~ loves me just the way I am and welcomes my love in return.

Willow Grace Wednesday

2008-10-22T07:00:00.000-05:00

Ah, yes, it's that time again... that time that I've unabashedly set aside for myself to take pride in my daughter, the precious creature God put in my care. I thank Him for her every day! I keep thinking about a passage from a book I used to teach where the mother refrains from showing much fondness for her son because women who thought highly of their own children were looked down on. I always disliked that part of the book. While mothers can certainly take it too far and turn a blind eye to unpleasant truths about their children's behavior, it's so important for mothers to praise and be affectionate towards their children. I certainly have no problem with being proud of mine!

On that note, here are a few sweet pics from the last couple weeks that I'd like to share with you.

You have to teach them early to keep both hands on the wheel! (Yes, this was taken @ Walmart. She doesn't have one of these...yet.)

She's always so cute - bright eyed or sleepy headed!Here's the queen of our home and her little princess! (But why is her crown bigger than mine?)